End the "R" Word....

There is, perhaps, a day for everything, every cause, disease, condition or celebration we can consider. This year, March 31, 2009 is particularly close to my heart.
The story begins here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGvppz_OZbA

Actor John C. McGinley is helping the children of the National Down’s Syndrome Summit, is promoting “Spread the Word to End the “R” word.”
I share this, because while it seems quite obvious that using a word that insults people is wrong, it still something we do. And I say we – meaning me. I’ve used the word, completely incorrectly, in a harmful, hurtful way. I’m oblivious.
It took someone as wonderful as Anne Hollis, her husband Todd, and her beautiful children to remind me how horrible the word truly is.Last year, Anne educated me. And I hope, today, she can educate you.

Anne is one of the smartest, kindest people I know. Two years ago, she and her husband Todd welcomed their beautiful baby girl Meg into their life, and learned Meg had Down's Syndrome. Since that day, Anne's done all she can - not to change Meg, but to educate the world that Meg will experience. People who believe you can't change the world have never seen a mom acting on behalf of their child. We can and we do change the world, every day.

As I write this, Anne’s husband Todd is in the Ukraine, handling paperwork, and hopefully, bringing home the newest addition to the Hollis family – two year old Alina, who also has Down’s Syndrome.
I have asked that she share her story with Discovery Health readers, and she will.
Until then, I am re-posting a portion of her recent guest blog about how parents of children with special needs view these kinds of things. At the time, Anne was outraged over “Tropic Thunder” which featured prominent use of the word, “retard.”
And personally, I am asking you to reconsider how you speak, what your words mean to a parent, to a child.
And I'd ask that you all read it. It's important - for me, for Anne, for Meg, and for the world our children will create.

am writing this letter in the hopes that you will really read it and hear me out. There is a new movie coming out called Tropic Thunder. It premieres tomorrow.
This new DreamWorks film, Tropic Thunder, uses intellectual disability as a way to be humorous. The advertising they did for this film included "Simple Jack" trailers, which is a movie-within- the-movie of Ben Stiller's character portraying a person who is intellectually disabled. Stiller plays Tugg Speedman, a fading action star who earlier failed in his bid for an Oscar as "Simple Jack," a man with an intellectual disability.
"Simple Jack" features Stiller sporting a classic institutional bowl haircut and bad teeth (see poster below). The film within-a-film' s slogan is "What he doesn't have in his head, he makes up for in his heart." A satirical plot synopsis quotes a critic as saying that Speedman's Jack was "one of the most retarded performances in cinema history."


The advertising campaign includes posters saying "Once upon a time, there was a retard". A scene in the movie has Ben Stiller and Robert Downey Jr. discussing Stiller's role as "Simple Jack" and Robert Downey Jr. telling him to "never go full retard." Already, the term "go full retard" is in the popular lexicon. It is already on t-shirts. The movie has not yet even premiered. In perhaps the single most offensive scene in the film, Matthew McConaughey, who plays a Hollywood agent, speaks to the film's main character who wants to adopt a child. "Well, at least you still have a choice. I'm stuck with mine," states McConaughey while pointing to a photograph of his teenage son who appears to have an intellectual disability. It is worth noting that over 90% of prenatally diagnosed babies with Down syndrome are killed through abortion, and that figure is climbing.
There has been mounting outrage from the disability community as the film's content is gradually becoming known. For excellent coverage of the issue, see http://www.patricia ebauer.com/ 2008/08/01/ once-upon- a-time/ and related posts.
Individuals who have intellectual disabilities CANNOT speak up for themselves, and I refuse to sit quietly and not spread the word that this movie is just another "comedy of the summer." I try not to get all wound up over words, usually. Before I had Meg (2 yrs old and beautiful, she also has Down syndrome) I never knew the full impact of calling someone a "retard" until some time after she was born. Eventually, it became personal. I used it to mean stupid, dumb, foolish...and then I had to face it in medical jargon and the terminology used regarding my daughter. I had to hear the words from Doctors and Nurses, teachers and administrators. It felt different after awhile, and when I heard the clinical term used as an insult or a jab "Oh, I am such a retard" or "Dont be so retarded" I felt it keenly and personally. It was no different than someone saying to me "Oh, I am just as stupid as Meg". Meg is NOT stupid. Meg was born with a diagnosis of Down syndrome, that will forever impact her life, but that has not been anything close to awful...unless you count the mean and hurtful things that society has said. Telling me that you didnt mean her doesnt cut it. Who did you mean, which person with an Intellectual Disability is it ok to laugh at?