Hello; I just have a few fears that I would like to ask about... I am 17 and pregnant. I am around 8 months. But I am TERRIFIED of having my baby. Every time I think about it a get scared, does this mean I'm not ready to have a baby (Obviously I'm young but that's not what I mean). Also since I'm younger, is there more risks for me? My doctor says I'll be fine.. But I'm still worried. And Will my baby be okay?
It's a girl and we are going to name her Danyella Evangeline. Also, I am worried about having to push.. Does it hurt? I am having drugs, but will it still hurt?
Thank you for your time,
Kaylyn
Oh and I do have some experience with babies, I have a sister who is living with me right now who's 2 (Hence the user name) who I think of more as my daughter than my sister. I have been looking after her since she was born because my parents have been away for personal reasons that I'd rather not discus. And yes you can blame my "problem" on neglectful parenting if you want. I don't care.
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Young mother fears..?
- By TerribleTwos
- Posted November 2, 2009 at 1:27 pm · 19 replies
- In Community Help Desk
- Shared with the public
- Edited November 2, 2009 at 1:38 pm
Explore topics in this discussion:
Childbirth Adoption Thrush Pregnancy Breast feeding Pain Menopause Memory Stress Preeclampsia
19 replies
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- Newest first
- By purple57chevy
- Posted November 3, 2009 at 12:38 pm
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hi I think at any age a first time mom is terrified because they've never been through the birth process. Are there birthing classes in your area? Are there other moms you can talk to? I'm sure you'll do great!! keep posting
- By TerribleTwos
- Posted November 3, 2009 at 10:18 pm
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I have been in one birthing class. But I'm still terrified. I can barley pull out my own splinters let alone push a baby out.. I'm so scared and the only mother I can talk to is my boyfriends mother, who is not exactly trilled with me at the moment. In the begging she told me to give the baby to her so she could pretend it was hers and not have her son go through the "traumatic experience" she even said she would buy a fake pregnancy belly. When I said no, she had a fit. About 2 months ago she said she forgave me and started talking to me. Then I made the mistake of asking her for naming help. I had already (sort of) picked Danyella. But I needed a middle name anyway. And so she said about 2 weeks later that I should name her Gertrude (Her name) when I said no (Politely) she had another fit. So now she is lying about stuff and I can't really trust her. My boyfriend won't even live with her anymore. But she was going to give us money, now I don't think she will. But anyways, So I'm not sure weather to believe any thing she says and so I need some other peoples opinions.
Also what do you think of Danyella Evangeline?
And my boyfriend would like some help too. From fathers or anyone.
Thank you,
Kaylyn and Jeremy <3
- By lildeb08
- Posted November 3, 2009 at 10:34 pm
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just trust your instincts when it comes to pushing. i was terrified too and had no idea what to do, but sweetie you can do it. just listen to your doctor, and everything will be fine. i had an epidural when i had my daughter, and my experience was pretty good. only thing is i could not feel my contractions when it came time to push because the way the medicine was set up i could administer it myself (to a point) and i gave myself some more after they said stop because i was afraid it would hurt. so my advice is if they say no more drugs, listen to them so you can feel the contractions. and while pushing, dont put your legs down or the baby will go back up. but i assure you, once you feel that babys head sticking out, you will get an adrenaline rush and that baby will b out in no time.
good luck, im here if u need to talk
- By DorothyD
- Posted November 3, 2009 at 11:54 pm
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I totally understand your fears. I am a first time mom with a 2 yr old girl. I was nervous about pushing also...but I did have an epidural so there was no pain. I listened to the nurses and pushed when they told me. I felt my contactions (putting a hand on my belly helped) and was able to really have a part in it which I think really helped me feel better because I felt like I knew a little about what was going on and had less to be scared of. It helped me to do a tour of the birthing center before I went into labor and to ask my dr any questions I had. Good luck and just think about the great gift you're going to have when it's all over....even when they start to grow up...
- By MyMiracles
- Posted November 4, 2009 at 2:02 am
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I was 17 years old when I delivered my first daughter. I had an epidural and no it doesn't hurt you just feel alot of pressure. As far as the pushing your body just kind of knows what to do, I had no idea I was able to some of the things I did during delivery. You will be fine. And I can say as a now 19 year old mother of 2 beautiful little girls, in the end whatever you have to go through is worth it. Trust me I know because I went through alot of heartache with my second child when she was born 11 weeks early and spent 10 weeks in the hopsital. With my first one as it got closer to delivery I seriously looked into adoption because of my fears and then decided I couldn't do it. I know as a mother I questioned myself alot as far as "can I really do this" "How am I supposed to do this" Is this the right way". But in the end you're her mother and you know the best thing for her and you will be great, good luck and I'm always here if you need anything.
- By TerribleTwos
- Posted November 4, 2009 at 11:35 am
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Thank you for your advice everyone!
Oh and does breast feeding hurt?
- By lildeb08
- Posted November 4, 2009 at 2:09 pm
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if the baby gets thrush (layer of white stuff on their tongue) it can be pretty painful, but your doctor will have you put anti fungal creme on your nipples and it will go away.
at first the breastfeeding is a bit uncomfortable, but you will get used to it and itll b ok.
- By TerribleTwos
- Posted November 4, 2009 at 4:23 pm
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Okay, Thank you.
How do they get thrush?
- By Suzie1
- Posted November 5, 2009 at 3:24 am
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I just want to say congratulations!!! You have made a huge decision, and a great one. I hope that every thing goes just perfectly for you. I was 18 when I got pregnant with my first, and now I am 27 and have three wonderful kids. It is definately the hardest job in the world, but it is also the most rewarding. It only takes one look at their perfect little faces to fall in love with them. If you need some support, or have more questions, feel free to contact me. I know alot of what you are feeling and going through.
Lastly, I love the name that you have picked out!!! It is absolutely beautiful, any little girl would be lucky to have that name. Good luck with everything. :)
- By pregnantspace
- Posted November 5, 2009 at 3:24 pm
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This is normal and A life altering experience... Get rid of the Influences that are negative and be sure to be positive as this is not an easy time and you are now giving up your life and freedoms for another human being.
It is normal to be scared... Join pregnantspace.com networks if you have not already and seek Web MD, Yahoo, Inspire you are on and chat with others.
SUPPORT is the best thing you can get!!! Take all you can get.
- By lildeb08
- Posted November 5, 2009 at 10:45 pm
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im not really sure, i think its just something that happens with some babies. just look out and if you see a thick layer of white on the babies tongue, call your doctor.
you probably wont have to worry about it though. its good to see that you are planning on breast feeding, it really is the best for your baby and itll help you lose so much weight! i wish i was able to do it longer
- By lildeb08
- Posted November 5, 2009 at 10:46 pm
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im not really sure, i think its just something that happens with some babies. just look out and if you see a thick layer of white on the babies tongue, call your doctor.
you probably wont have to worry about it though. its good to see that you are planning on breast feeding, it really is the best for your baby and itll help you lose so much weight! i wish i was able to do it longer
- By TerribleTwos
- Posted November 6, 2009 at 12:40 pm
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Okay thats good. I don't want anything to be wrong with her.
And I hope I can lose the weight fast! LOL. I was a cheerleader all through middle school and high school. So I'm not really used to the extra weight. And I miss wearing my old clothes LOL...
- By lildeb08
- Posted November 6, 2009 at 6:08 pm
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i know EXACTLY how u feel. i was 115 pounds before i had carmen and i desperately wish to be that thin again. i wasn't able to breastfeed very long and so im having to do it the old fashioned way. plus i was underweight to start with so when i got pregnant, my body gained more weight then usual. Try as hard as you can to breastfeed and workout during the times when the baby sleeps alot, cuz it just gets harder.
- By mamaof2prettybabies
- Posted November 8, 2009 at 12:41 pm
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Congradulations! With my first I found out I was pregnant 2 days before my 19th birthday. I'd been pregnant twice before yet both of them were miscarried. I was beyond terrified of giving birth. My husband, then fiance, was a firm believer in a natural childbirth (aka, no drugs at all). I was a firm believer in having the drugs, if drs offer them then its not bad and hey they are trying to give us a more positive birthing experience, was what I thought. I was very set on not having an elective c-section, I wanted the epidural and didn't want to be induced. My sister had told me that her friends that had been induced said it was worse than going into labor naturally. Ha! So much for having a birthing plan and my mind made up. I began to show signs of toximia at 6 1/2 months along. My ob/gyn wasn't too worried because my family dr was close by during that time and there if I needed immediate medical attention. By 7 months my blood pressure kept rising so I began to go twice a week to have it checked and also have my appt. I had been ordered to do a protein test for 24hrs to check urine for any protein, I was told if I wouldn't do it at home I'd be admitted to the hospital to do it, it was that serious. Later that night I was admitted anyway with being diagnosed with mild preeclampsia. By 6am the next morning I was beginning the induction process. I was scared out of my mind with worry! My baby was 4 weeks early and I was more worried about him than myself. My dr told me he'd be healthy but they had to get him out NOW, especially with my blood pressure at in the 200's/130's, scary being told I shouldn't be alive. The nurses and my dr were very calm though because me being young they didn't want to worry me anymore than they had to, to stress the baby out. They were firm with what had to be done though. I needed an emergancy c-section and fast. As of my hospitals rules they have now, I won't ever get to experience me pushing my baby out. I will always have c-sections. But I will be honest that in the weeks and days leading up to labor its terrifying to think of the labor process, but once it happens you just listen and do what the nurses and drs tell you to do and as a result you get a precious miracle in return. You will remember that it was painful but that memory dims in comparison of the bundle of joy you get to hold when its over! Just remember to stay as calm as possible too, if you stress out than your baby girl will also and you don't want that. If you need someone to talk to I'm here for you. Its a scary thing being a first time mom but follow your instincts and it'll be okay.
- By thunderwonder22
- Posted November 8, 2009 at 6:28 pm
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Yes, the pushing process does hurt, even with drugs. I love the name! Its so cute! How far along are you? Good Luck!
- By TerribleTwos
- Posted November 9, 2009 at 7:18 pm
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I'm just about 7 months. She is aparently a little bigger than a normal 7 month old would be.
- By TerribleTwos
- Posted November 13, 2009 at 12:21 pm
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I know I said I was "around 8" but the doctors got it wrong... Because I was late coming to them for my first visit..
And she's bigger then normal.
Sorry If I confused anyone.. :(
- By novelist1977
- Posted November 13, 2009 at 11:17 pm
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First off, congratulations! I just wanted to say that I'll be 32 next month, this is my third pregnancy, and I'm STILL terrified of having to push a baby out of me. Yes it's going to hurt...but...that's just part of the process unfortunately. You and baby will be okay...and believe it or not I have more risks than you do because I'm older. Your body is able to handle more stuff when you're younger. I had my first when I was 20 and though it was rough being pregnant, I don't feel like I feel now. Thank God, He allows us to go through menopause because our bodies can't handle something like a pregnancy at such an old age. How did Sarah do it?? Anyway, just have someone with you in the delivery room who is supportive and will help you through. You're going to make it through! And when you push little Danyella Evangeline out (such a beautiful name) you may even think about doing it all over again. All the pain is gone and you have this beautiful little baby in your arms.
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