We want a baby but can't afford one.

My husband and I want a baby but we fall into a weird financial range. We make too much to qualify for family support but only enough to support ourselves. We're trying to find a better paying job for my husband, but we've been looking for awhile and I'm not sure how long it will take. I know people say "you'll never be able to afford a baby" but we seriously cannot afford one right now, and I would feel uncomfortable putting ourselves and a new little baby in that situation. I'm just getting very frustrated and not really sure what to do but stick it out. This may sound like a strange discussion topic but I just thought I would throw it out there in case there are any ideas because I’m fresh out. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks

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All i can say is be careful. I'm expecting my 1st in november and as exciting as it is, ive spent over 1500 dollars on the basic nursery stuff, clothes, car seat/stroller, etc. its a lot of money. and im still buying a lot. im not trying to discourage you from having a baby at all, you just need to make sure you have a financial plan worked out. is anyone able to help you?

my boyfriend and i are fortunate enough to have my parents help, and hes working an im not. he doesnt make a lot of money, about 1700 a month or so, and im still in college. so by no means do we have a lot of money. we just have to cut almost everything extra for now until i get a decent job again.

in our case, we also had to keep in mind that child care in our area is like 800 a month, and they cant watch him until hes around 8 months old or so. so in that time, im also not able to get a job and it will just be my boyfriend working because until i finish college we cant affoard it.

diapers arent cheap either.

so please, just be careful, really think about it, work out financial help first, and good luck!

also maybe look into the CHIP program.

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My husband will be retiring just 9 months after our lil one gets here and he will be going back to school to prepare for a second career. So we are doing all we can to save and prepare for that with one on the way. So it is true, you really never can afford a baby LOL.... Some of the things we have done during the pregnancy to help save money is buying diapers now. We have about 20 pks now and also getting wipes and baby wash ect... And garage sales are my best friends. I have gotten alot of stuff already at little to no cost. And I am picky about what I get, never anything with stains or that looks really worn. I am also part of a group called Freecycle.com. You can look that up and become a member. If you have things you don't want you offer them and ppl offer things they no longer need or want. I have gotten a ton of baby clothes. Some stained but I just give those to goodwill and keep the others. I have seen ppl post all sorts of stuff - so that is an option.
I didn't notice, do you work? If not you could get a job - open a baby account for your paycheck and do not touch it. Once you have one years worth of money in savings, start trying to get pregnant. You will have an additinal 9 months to save money and you can quit just weeks prior to delivery.
I hope this was a help to you... Good luck in your quest to becoming a mommy!

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We are also in the enough for no assistance, but not able to afford much category. The most expensive can be medical costs. Check to see what your insurance covers and if your state has any programs for pregnant women. Many do for pregnant women at higher income levels than for general medical assistance. Babies absolutley need a car seat clothing and diapers. I bought a new car seat for my last baby under $50 that lasted him for a year. Clothing and blankets can be found at garage sales, thrift and consignment shops for great savings. Diapers...cloth diapering still exists and is much better than it was generation ago. Google cloth diaper should give you information, diaperpin dot com is alos a good start. Breastfeeding is free. La Leche League offers support at no charge though they do accept annual memberships too. My 4 babies were able to nurse until they were ready for table food, no expensive jarred food. For a bed, there are many cribs and bassinets available second hand and plenty of resources out there that give advice on getting a safe second hand crib. My babies never did well with a crib and slept with me. I didn't even have a crib in the house for the last two. We did use a bassinet in the early months for a secure place to lay the baby down. I really feel that babies are not expensive. Now getting 3 of my 4 kids ready for a new school year......

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I know how you feel. I really would like to have another baby, but I know it isn't the right time for my family. We have been very blessed and make a decent living, but not enough to where we could comfortably bring another baby into the world. Our cars are getting pretty old. My focus is in the shop every other week and my husband's car is aweful when it comes to gas milage. We need to concentrate on getting better, more dependable cars before we can consider a second child. Also, my mother-in-law watches my daughter for free, but she has said she will not watch another child if we were to have one. Even when my daughter starts school, my mother-in-law says she will start all over again with another one. I don't blame her. She is in her 60's and my father-in-law had just retired 3 years ago while I was pregnant. I know that she wants to enjoy retirement too. So that will leave us with the option of daycare which is $700 a month. We cannot afford that right now. My aunt, however, is due to give birth to her 3rd baby girl. She is now working 3 jobs and her husband has his job, just so they can be financially prepared for the baby. I asked her how she can do it when money is so limited. She said "You have to. You find a way." I guess her way is having 3 jobs. Anyway, you know what is best for your situation. It took me a while to come to terms with the fact we cannot have another child right now. Just start saving. Good luck!

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My husband and I did not have a lot of money at all before we found out we were pregnant with our first but you'd be surprised how the skies cleared and not only did we manage but I found a better job and my husband got a promotion when our daughter turned one. You never know what God has planned for you and someway somehow you always find a way to pull threw. Life's not always easy you just have to make sure you and your husband are both dedicated to making it work.

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I agreed with mama86! If you want a baby then have a baby. Things alway work out some how.
When the baby arrived, some how your mind and the ski will clear out and you will fine the way to take care of your baby. If you wait and wait... You never will afford one. And you not getting any younger.

Yes, baby arent cheap to take care, but you don't need to buy a brand new clothes and toys for your baby. They grow out too fast. Just go to garage sale, goodwill store, on paper some time people sell all kind of stuff for baby and it a lot cheaper.

Sometime Gov. help family under paid or have no job. They give clothes, food, formula... Anything you need to take care your child.
My sister did it!!! guess what, she had 4 kids and the Gov. help all 4.

With the isurr that we had, I paid $180.00 to have my baby 6 months ago.

Hong

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I've wanted a baby since I was 14 years old but I wanted to wait until I found the right person. My husband has a rare bone disorder and doesn't want to father a child. We can't afford adoption or invitro..... are there any other choices? The closer I get to 30 the more depressed I get (29 at the moment). I'm at my wits end here and don't know what else to do.

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Well by now I sure hope that your circumstances have changed and you now have a baby.

If not here is my message to both of you:

If you are waiting for the perfect time to have a baby...well there is none. Know this.....(with every baby you have there comes a blessing). So what does that mean? It means that for every child you have God will bless you with the means to get by, and sometimes even have some extra. Step out in Faith and try God He will suprise you....Note: I did not say test God...God want's us to try His ways as they are fuitfull and rewarding if we only have the Faith of a Mustard Seed! Oh you of little Faith.....come now....The money will in deed come just take that fist step.

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We used an attorney to adopt our first baby in Aug. We spent about a 5000.00 . Much less then what an adoption agency charges, but still a chunk of change. There just wasn't a lot left for baby items. It took us years just to save that and like you we made too much for assistance. So, I hit garage sales. People get rid of baby items all the time and at that age they're not old enough to wear it out. We also use store brand formula. They have to meet the FDA standards so your not sacrificing quality. If you have family near by, hit them up for free babysitting. I'm sure you've done them some favors.

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we i was reading everyone elses replys having a baby is not cheap but eathier is life its self me and my soon to be husband wanted a baby and we both know it aint cheap but if it is just u and ur spouce one more person is not going to put much of a differance in it we dont qualify for food stamps or cash or any of that i dont work right now cause iam in college full time and he works full time so when my baby comes this month on the 29th his mom was willing to watch are son for us this school year cause at my school a kid has to be 6 months to be in any daycare program so i was lucky enough to get financial aid to pay for most of my school and im going for dential asst. so they are also paying for the child care too thank gosh that help but my boyfriend brings close to 2500.00 a mo its not a lot when u have a car payment house payment and other bills but we have manage but wat we did was we bought some stuff new but and others on ebay u get good deals there on craigs list we got 4 laundry baskets of clothes for 60.00 dollars witch was plenty for the first year cause it is point less to go buy all new clothes when there first born cause they grow out of them so fast so to me its a waste but there are plenty of ways to raise a child just have to think of ways to save and it does pay for example when a baby gets older like when they can have baby food try cooking frozen veg and putting them in the blender cause they jar baby food cost add that up it is cheaper with frozen veg my friend did it to save and she works at walmart and a single parent on her own with no county help and starting school too but there are ways if u want a baby go for it cause it is not going to get any cheaper in life every thing goes up and if u do have a baby and if u do a boy and have him circimised and ur insuranse dont cover it most hospitals do a pay ment plan with you as low as 50.00 dollars a month but now u get to choose to have it done or not me i choose to cause i think its is a health hazerd not haveing it done but im from minnesota and my town it cost 700.00 dollars to have it done but no body is ever ready to have a kid and yes a town i live in now days they on having six kids at the age of 24 its crazy and they dont work they get to sit home and collect county asstinance and get any thing and every thing for nothin and it does wreack it for others trying to just have a small family and have to suffer and have all the others sittin on there backs havin the easy life but wat im tryin to say if u want a baby have one

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Well I'm hoping you guys have made a decision on whether to have one or not. I would love to have a baby right now but I too dont know if i have the finances for it. I know a baby is expensive and as they grow they dont get any cheaper, but people have kids at all different financial stages, whether rich or shall we say less wealthy. I hope to try to have a baby soon. good luck!!!

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I couln't agree more with "hope33". I came onto this site to get the same advice. I have 2 children now and want a third. The problem is my husband is "fixed" already and we really dont have that much money. I stayed at home for the last four years, since my first was born. So being on 1 imcome makes it hard. The last issue is the house we live in is a two bedroom. My son(2 1/2yrs) and daughter(4) already share a bedroom. I have no idea what we would do. I dontwant to wait another year, I would like to have the kids close in age. I do believe that you should step out in faith and let God handle the problem. I bet it will all work out! Thank you Hope33!

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My husband and I have been married for 4 years. I am almost 39, DH is 42. We each spent the last 20 years working on careers, paying bills, saving little (taking great vacations tho!!). As soon as we got married we started trying to get pregnant. No luck. Tried for 18 months. Finally went to a fertility clinic and DS was born Jan 09. Tried again for another child ( for 6 months) and went back to the fertility clinic...now pregnant with TWINS!!! I'm saying...if you wait too long you may find out you are infertile... Thank GOD our health insurance covered MOST of the procedures... But it was still a very long, painful journey of month after month of getting hopes up...then getting period...seeing other people with babies...even my brother's & sisters...and wanting one SO BADLY it physically hurt! I am very blessed that now I can be a mother to my son and future kiddos, I don't have to work. But it's a "catch 22" situation. Have kids when young, or risk infertility and be an OLD mom like me! My brother is a year older than I am...and 2 of his children graduated highschool already, his youngest is getting his drivers license!! I will be almost 60 when my first son graduates highschool!! Just stuff to consider. Good luck!! What other have written about trusting in God to provide...that's so true. Also true that the only thing a baby needs for the first year are BOOBs and diapers. Seriously! And for the first 4 months our son slept in the middle of our king size bed. Just a word of caution...please make sure that if you get a pre-owned car seat (regardless if it hasn't been in a car accident - check the date on the bottom. If it's ilder than 3 years old it may have been recalled and considered unsafe. Older cribs have pretty strict codes now as well. Drop down sides are considered unsafe and a few deaths have been attributed to it. If you look at baby magazines and see all the fancy schmancy decor/bumpers/cutesy nursery stuff in the "hottest trendiest" colors - it's very unrealistic and un-needed for a baby (and costs CRAZY MONEY....unless you are financially loaded and just want to throw it money away). The biggest thing we've cut back on is...we don't eat out 4 times a week, we haven't been to the movies- since before he was born, we don't give alot of Christmas presents to relatives. But so happy being parents. Nothing else matters! I wouldn't imagine my life with out my children. I can't wait to hear how it goes for you:).

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What you pray for and what is God's Will is not always what you get. In other words, your prayer might be for new born baby, and you might even believe that this is what God would want as well, but in many cases this is just not true. God is a Mystery..., and we will never know for sure what His Divine plans are in absolute as we would like, and that my friends is where Faith comes in, and Trust. We pray, we have faith we trust and hope that God will answer the prayer or prayers we place before Him, but if not we have to be willing to move on, and look at other options such as adoption, and if we cannot afford that, then we pray that the funds will be available, and if that does not happen we might need to accept the fact that it was not in God's Divine plan for our lives. This is hard, but we will not know the real reason until we meet Jesus in Heaven. Still keep praying and have faith that God will answer your prayers. Doubt will alway creep in, but know that Jesus has heard your prayers and will answer them according to His Will.

Hope33

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