THE JOYS OF BEING A PARENT

TAKING CARE OF CHILDREN IS NOT EASY AND CAN BE VERY STRESSFUL AT TIMES. I FIRST LEARNED THIS WHEN I GAVE BIRTH TO MY BEAUTIFUL LITTLE GIRL FIVE MONTHS AGO. NOW I DON'T GET VERY MUCH SLEEP OR TIME TO MY SELF. I CAN BARELY WALK OUT OF THE ROOM WITHOUT HER CRYING FOR ME TO COME BACK AND/OR PICK HER UP. I AM NOT ABLE TO DO A LOT OF THINGS INCLUDING COOKING AND CLEANING UNTIL SHE FALLS ASLEEP, BUT EVEN THEN SHE DOESN'T SLEEP FOR VERY LONG.I HAVE TO TRY TO FIND TIME TO DO EVERYTHING THAT I NEED TO DO. AND WITH ME BEING A FIRST TIME MOM IT MAKES THINGS A LITTLE HARDER FOR ME. BUT DESPITE ALL THE BAD... THERE IS NOTHING I'D RATHER DO MORE THAN TO SPEND ALL MY TIME WITH MY LITTLE GIRL JAZ. JUST WAKING UP TO THAT BEAUTIFUL SMILE EVERY MORNING AND HEARING HER LAUGH PUTS ME IN A GOOD MOOD. MY LIFE HAS BEEN A LOT MORE INTERESTING SINCE SHE WAS BORN. I MUST SAY THAT JAZ IS A JOY TO HAVE AROUND AND THERE IS NEVER A DULL MOMENT WHEN SHE IS. I WOULDN'T TRADE HER IN FOR ANYTHING, AND IF I COULD DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN (INCLUDING THE MORNING SICKNESS, MULTIPLE TRIPS TO THE HOSPITAL, AND HORRIBLE LABOR PAINS) I WOULD. BEING A PARENT IS THE ONE THING THAT I CAN SAY I'M GOOD AT AND ENJOY MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF.

By purple57chevy
Posted October 27, 2009 at 11:20 am
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hi I remeber those days and it happens with each and every pregnancy and in all actuality...it happens everyday. (even when they're 19 and not wanting to grow up. 15 and learning to drive and anxiously awaiting that first date. 13 and deciding whether to be a teen or a little boy. 9 and just plain cute) Anyway I got off track there, you need to let your baby have floor time. That way she'll have a place to roll and eventually crawl, sit, stand and walk. I would always put a blanket down first and then get down with her. Play with her and then get up but stay in the same room and then move to a different room so you can do a little seperation. If you want to keep her in the same room as you just drag her around on the blanket. good luck and have fun!!!

By Jaz3000
Posted October 27, 2009 at 8:09 pm
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THANK YOU FOR YOUR REPLY AND I WILL MOST DEFINITELY TRY GIVING HER SOME FLOOR TIME. IT WILL TAKE SOMETIME GETTING USED TO IT BUT IT WILL ALL BE WORTH IT IN THE END.

By ManchKins
Posted October 28, 2009 at 8:48 am
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thats wonderful!! have you tried putting her on her stomach! it helps hey! and try bathing her at night that way she willfall a sleep!!

but i can just imagine! try and find someone that is welling to help you! maybe help to clean and cook or to look after the baby while your cleaning and cooking! and WHEN YOU REST! because you need your strength for both of you!!

Gud luck and take care!!

By Firsttimemom252
Posted October 28, 2009 at 10:52 am
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I know how you feel.I am first time mom to a 13 month old son James.It was hard but it made it a little easier for me stayin with my parents

By mamaof2prettybabies
Posted November 1, 2009 at 2:44 am
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I am now a 2nd time mom but I do remember trying to be the "perfect" mom with my 1st! I listened to what the doctors said from the moment I found out I was pregnant with my son. If they would have said to do head stands 3 times a day at a specific time, I definately would have done it like clockwork. I didn't listen when it came to not letting your children sleep in bed with you though, I will not make that mistake ever again! My son, the eldest, sleeps in our bed. My daughter, the baby, will not sleep comfortably unless she is in her own bed ALONE. I learned from my own mistakes on more than a few things. Whenever my son made a noise, both my husband and I, would race to pick him up. Partly because he had an umbilical hernia and we were advised by our family dr to not let him stress over crying as much as possible and the other part honestly was we didn't want to hear our baby cry. Our daughter has her own bed, gets to cry over some things and is a much more content baby for it. Our youngest sleeps a lot more soundly than our son ever did and keeps herself entertained more than our son did at her age. I don't think my son knew what a floor was until he was at least 7 or 8 months old. Ok he really did get his share of floor time in at either of his grandparents houses but not enough at home. When they tell you that you learn from what you did wrong with the 1st child once the 2nd comes along...they're right. There are so many things I'd change in raising my son if given the chance. He'd be on a more strict schedule, he'd sleep on his own, and would have definately been able to put himself to sleep. The baby has slept through the night since she was 3 weeks old. The eldest has barely started and he just turned 2. But honestly, don't worry about doing things "wrong" because you most likely won't repeat it. Anyway back to you! Have you considered that maybe your baby is teething? Most babies are clingy when they are uncomfortable feeling. Try some infant tylenol or ibproufen for her a couple times a day. That may also help her sleep better. If you aren't for the tylenol then try some baby oragel or homeopathic teething tablets. The teething thing may be part of the issue, the other part is she might be starting in with seperation anxiety. She's learning that you go away but doesn't know that even if she doesn't cry that you'll come back. Peek a boo is a good game to help her know you always reappear! Sorry if I rambled on too much, I tend to do that occasionally. If you ever want to talk feel free to talk to me!

By AnnMV
Posted November 1, 2009 at 11:23 am
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Well said! There is truly nothing like being a mom.

My girls are 11 and 7 now. That is nearly impossible for me to believe. So it's wonderful that while you feel the stress and exhaustion, you appreciate the wonder and joy in your child and savor all those precious moments.

A friend of mine once told me that no matter how hard you try to burn into your memory the feeling of holding, feeding, adoring your baby at that certain "special" age, it's nearly impossible, because (as purplechevy alluded to), EVERY moment, every age, is extraordinary.

And I throw in my two cents about the floor time: ALWAYS a good idea!!

Welcome...so glad you joined us!

AnnMV
Cohost/Moderator

By Jaz3000
Posted November 1, 2009 at 1:41 pm
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HI MANCHKINS AND FIRSTTIMEMOM252, HOW ARE YOU? I AM NOW TRYING THE WHOLE STOMACH THING, IT'S GOING TO TAKE SOME GETTING USED TO FOR HER BUT I HAVE FAITH THAT ONE DAY SHE WILL COME TO ENJOY AND LIKE IT. I DO NOW HAVE SOME HELP WITH HER BECAUSE I AM STAYING WITH MY MOM UNTIL I CAN MOVE. THANK YOU BOTH FOR YOUR REPLY'S AND GOD BLESS.

By Jaz3000
Posted November 1, 2009 at 2:26 pm
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DEAR MAMAOF2PRETTYBABIES,

I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT YOUR SAYING FROM YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE. AND I CAN TELL YOU THAT IT IS MAKING ME WANT TO RETHINK SOME OF THE THINGS THAT I DO WITH MY OWN DAUGHTER. I THINK I'M GONNA TRY SOME NEW THINGS WITH HER LIKE LETTING HER SLEEP ON HER OWN IN HER BED,(BECAUSE WE DO HAVE A BRAND NEW CRIB FOR HER BUT SHE HAS NEVER USED IT) AND NOT PICKING HER UP EVERY TIME SHE CRY'S. I DO THINK THAT MAYBE SHE IS TEETHING SO I WILL BUY SOME BABY ORA GEL. ALSO I WILL DEFINITELY TRY PLAYING PEEK A BOO WITH HER.

TO ANNMV,

I WENT THREW A LOT TRYING TO CONCEIVE MY DAUGHTER. I TRIED FOR MONTHS TO GET PREGNANT AND ALL I GOT WAS NEGATIVE PREGNANCY TESTS. FOR A WHILE THERE I STARTED TO THINK THAT I COULDN'T GET PREGNANT, UNTIL ONE MONTH WHEN I GOT MY PERIOD FOR 16 DAYS. I WENT TO THE HOSPITAL, THEY TOOK A BLOOD TEST FROM ME AND THE RESULTS SHOWED THAT I HAD HAD A MISCARRIAGE. THAT WAS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE I DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO TRY ANY MORE LET ALONE HAVE INTERCOURSE. BUT I DID CONTINUE TO TRY FOR A FEW MORE MONTHS AND EVENTUALLY GAVE UP. THEN ONE DAY I WENT TO MY DR. FOR A PHYSICAL AND THEY HAD FOUND A LOT OF PROTEIN IN MY URINE. THEY HAD TAKEN A PREGNANCY TEST FROM THE URINE THEY HAD AND IT CAME BACK POSITIVE. I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT SO I HAD TO CHECK FOR MY SELF AND SURE ENOUGH IT WAS POSITIVE. I WAS LITERALLY JUMPING WITH JOY ON THE INSIDE AND COULD NOT WAIT TO GET OUT OF THERE SO I COULD SCREAM AND SPREAD THE WONDERFUL NEWS. I SMILED THAT WHOLE DAY AND THAT BECAME THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE UNTIL I GAVE BIRTH AND MET MY DAUGHTER FOR THE FIRST TIME OF COURSE. SO YEAH I WILL ALWAYS AND FOREVER APPRECIATE ALL THE GOOD AND BAD THAT COMES WITH BEING A PARENT.

THANK YOU BOTH FOR YOUR REPLY'S AND GOD BLESS.

By mamaof2prettybabies
Posted November 1, 2009 at 3:10 pm
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We had a hand me down crib but my son had slept only 45 minutes in it until he was 10 months old! I know that feeling well. My husband and I have realized it is so important for the mommy and daddy's bed to remain just that! We feel very disconnected from eachother at times and find eachother going to sleep with our backs to the other. I had 2 miscarriages (both with my husband) before I was told that I had precancerous cervical cells. I believed I'd never get to experience the joy of being pregnant, morning sickness, backaches, fatigue and all. My husband and I had just gotten engaged when I found that out. I sat him down to discuss our options, I didn't want to make him feel like he had to marry me if we had trouble conceiving or not being able to bare children on my part. He calmly hugged me while I was having my breakdown of coming to the realization I may not be able to bare him children, and told me that there's other ways to have babies. I went in the next day for my biopsy and to try and freeze the cells to find out the shock of my life. I was 2 weeks pregnant with our son. I couldn't believe my ears. They had done 2 urine tests and a blood test to prove it and I was still in disbelief. I was scared of miscarrying yet again. They both happened around the 7 week mark. With my daughter I didn't have a period for 3 months and was given a blood test at 1 1/2 months missed period and it had come back negative. I took 2 home tests both positive along with a blood test. But once my dr read the levels he told me that it wasn't a viable pregnancy and that I'd be soon to miscarry. I had an ultrasound that showed I was 5 weeks and 6 days along which corrolated with my hormone levels that my dr didn't agree with being my LMP was, at that point, over 4 months past due. He began to say he was cautiously optomistic about my pregnancy and that gave me hope. The next day I went to the restroom and my heart sank when I saw the blood. My worst fears were coming true again. After a trip to the ER and another blood test, I found out my baby was fine. Boy was I relieved! Hopefully I won't have as many troubles when we decide its time to try for the next baby. We plan to have 1 or 2 more at least. But you know what they say about plans, they never go the way you want them to! Best of luck with you and your baby girl. Relish these days, they grow up so fast! Next thing you know you'll be helping her with babies of her own.

By Jaz3000
Posted November 11, 2009 at 10:42 am
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DEAR MAMAOF2PRETTYBABIES,
I AM SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOST, I COULD BARELY HANDLE THE ONE MISCARRIAGE THAT I HAD LET ALONE TWO I KNOW IT HAD TO BE REALLY HARD TO TAKE IN. I'M JUST HAPPY THAT YOU DIDN'T GIVE UP AFTER THAT. IF IT'S OK I WANT TO ASK HOW DID IT GO WITH THE FREEZING OF THE CANCER CELLS? I HOPE AND PRAY THAT EVERYTHING IS OK!

THANK YOU FOR YOUR REPLY AND GOD BLESS!

P.S. I KNOW THAT THEY GROW UP FAST AND THAT IS ONE OF THE THINGS THAT I AM AFRAID OF.

By AnnMV
Posted November 12, 2009 at 8:47 pm
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Yes, they do grow up fast, but don' be afraid of it -- each age is an adventure in which you'll surely find moments of utter joy. (After tucking my 7-yr-old into bed recently, as I walked out of the room following goodnight hugs and kisses, she said, "Mom, I love you more than chocolate...and you know how much I love chocolate!") Priceless. And the best part is that with their independence comes quiet time for you and actually being able to sleep, soundly, through the night!

Both of you have beautiful, heartfelt stories. Thank you for sharing them.

AnnMV
Cohost/Moderator

By novelist1977
Posted November 13, 2009 at 11:34 pm
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I can totally relate to you because my son is 13 months and just needs to be held or breastfed and to make matters worse...i'm 8 months pregnant, so i am unrelentlessly TIRED! I love my son to death, but sometimes I need a break from him to be me. It's hard when they're so clingy. Even though you are expressing yourself, I don't hear regret in your statement and it sounds like to me you're a trooper! The best thing made for babies like your daughter are those darn baby carriers. They come in handy when you need to do things, handsfree, and they want to snuggle close. Or maybe try putting her in a bouncer or a swing. Babies normally love those types of things and may keep them occupied for long periods of time so you can get some work done. Keep on keeping on mom, it will get better soon!

Welcome to Inspire!

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