My 2 1/2 year old son won't sleep and I AM SO TIRED!

My 2 1/2 year old son. Was an AWESOME baby! and can be the sweetest little boy at times, but the temper tantrums are out of control! and when it is time to go to bed..... Well, let just say my husband and I haven't slept through the night in a 1 1/2 years. I don't know what changed other than having his baby sister when he was 16 months old?

We did create a horrible habit when he was about 1-1/2 - 2, by letting him sleep in our room and fall asleep to cartoons..... Now that my husband and I want our room back and we thought it might be an okay transition to put a TV in our sons room and set the timer on the baby einstien video? However he screams and cries..... and it would go on for hours (If we let it) so we are forced to lay in bed with him as soon as he falls asleep we sneak off into our bedroom and like clock work we hear the yelling about 1-2 hours later "Mommy snuggles" "Watch" "Daddy!"

I don't know what to do...... I feel like I am having a nervous break down because, I am so exhausted and my poor Husband, we are at each others throats because of this..... What am I doing wrong? and how do I fix it?

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Well in my experience consistancy works. Take a weekend, or anytime that you have about 3 days or so that there aren't a lot of things going on. And work on your routine. With my girls, we brush their teeth, read a story and then it's off to dreamland for them. And they have to stay in their rooms.

It's not easy to make changes, but he'll probably be a much happier child, and so will you all after he learns to fall asleep and stay asleep by himself. I say 3 days, that's how long it took each of my girls. We let them sleep with us and then when they reached a certain age they were put in their own beds in their own rooms.

It is hard for the first night or two. One of my daughters (my stubborn one) cried for a few hours. Now I did go in and pat her back and tell her it was time to go to sleep and lay her back down about every 10 minutes. But with one of my girls I couldn't do that. I had to go out and just leave her. Cuz if I'd go back in she'd get even more wound up and... it just didn't work for her.

So try whatever works for ya'll. And good luck... just remember it won't stay like that. And be consistant... one time of getting them back up will ruin everything you did. IE... letting them cry for an hour, deciding you can't stand it anymore... if you go back in and get them up they will remember and figure out that if they cry long enough you'll get them. So hold your ground.

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hi I agree with Stacey-momma. Consistency!!!!!!!!!! We did the same thing (kids in our bed) and it's not worth it. Try a sleeping bag and pillow on the floor and night after night move him closer to his roomand farther from yours. Try putting him in his room for naps. It won't be easy andI bet there will be tears all around but hang on, it will be worth it. good luck

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Hi there and welcome!

I totally agree with Stacey and chev. Be consistent, firm (but loving, i.e., confident that you are the PARENT and in control and doing the right thing -- for HIM!!) and do not, do NOT give in to changing your new routine, no matter how much crying. It will be utter AGONY for awhile, but the payoff will be well worth it.

As young moms, we see these times as going on forever, but, trust me, they don't. (I can't believe my girls are 11 and 7 already.) My eldest is severely disabled and was always a great sleeper -- not a problem there -- but her younger sister went through a lot of transition from sleeping in our room (in a crib, NEVER our bed -- a wise decision for me), to sharing a room, to a room of her own. For a good year I 'hung out' on a sleeping bag next to her toddler bed creating magical stories about our family owning a ranch and horses and she and her sister (who was healthy in these fantasies) would rescue us from one disaster or another. Quiet nightlight darkness is key -- NO TV, music, or stimulation of any kind. Enter into dreamland, as Stacey says, with the routine of teethbrushing, jammies, "baba," reading (no matter how young), then the quiet time.

I was blown away the other night when, after reading to Simone before bed, she actually told ME (can't remember the exact words) that she feels sorry for kids who don't understand that their parents are the 'boss.' She feels safe and grounded knowing someone who has the tools to do it is in control. Kids NEED this and WANT this. Remember that when you think you're being too tough, okay?

Hang in there for this transition, but know we'll be here for you. If Dad can support whatever measures you initiate to get there, all the better. (It'll be better for both of you!)

I'm here any time!

AnnMV
Cohost/Moderator

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Thanks for the support, I know I need to just put my foot down and stand my ground :-( It's just so hard at times.... But, That's what we'll do! and I know it's just a matter of time and everyone will be sleeping normally :-) That I will be so grateful for! :-)

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Yes, it IS hard! Especially when you're sleep-deprived and it seems so much easier to give in. But keep reminding yourself to think LONG TERM, not short-term. Even as you see little glimmers of success, you'll realize that there is big-time pay-off in being the parent and not giving in. And don't forget how much kids need and want that, though they're behavior might tell you otherwise. All that freaking out is because it is truly tough on them to be the one ultimately controlling the situation...not a good thing!

Hang in there -- we're here for 'ya!

AnnMV
Cohost/Moderator

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I think the key is to make sure he has enough interdependent activity during the daytime, meaning he has his own space, doing his own thing, while you keep your distance. And secondly make sure he gets enough physical and mental exercise during the daytime so that he is ready to sleep when he goes to bed. This will be a reconditioning thing but hopefully it would help the situation. Children always need a certain amount of reassurance but too much coddling or indulging a child only leads to a mental trigger for the children to demand your attention.

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You are not alone.Kindly send the solution if found.I also share your concern. A tea cup of a blend of milk and banana helpad my case for quite a while.

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I had a similar problem with my 2 1/2 year old. Perfect sleeper from the time she was tiny. She slept from 7pm-7am every night and took a reliable 2 hour nap daily. That is, until her baby sister was born. Then everything spiraled into a sleepless nightmare. Actually, a nightmare would have been nice, because at least I would have been sleeping.
We tried all of our old tricks, and everything else we'd ever heard of, but nothing worked. The less sleep she got the more grumpy and less willing to sleep she became. We actually tried letting her sleep in our bed with us, but she would stay awake, poking me in the face until two in the morning. She's an extremely strong-willed child and hyper-active too, and the only thing that finally worked was turning her doorknob around and locking it from the outside. My husband and I would watch movies and try to ignore the wailing from down the hall every night, and try to keep each other from just giving in and letting her out.
It took a couple of heart-wrenching weeks for us, but she's finally back to her old schedule again. And the best part is that she's happy again. She was so miserable and moody when she was tired and so its a joy to have our little sunshine back again.

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