I need some advice. My 15 year old is pregnant. I was so saddened to find this out, and cried for a few days after (though I tried to hide from my daughter how hard I was taking the news). Since then I have come to accept this and am ready to welcome my first grandchild with open arms.
Here's my dilemma. How can I balance being a just a grandmother to the baby, and still mothering my little girl, who is becoming a mother herself? I don't want to take over, but both my husband and I are predicting that she will treat this just as she's treated most things so far..."mom will do it". Typical of a lot of teens and kids, but now she's going to be a mother.
We have let her know that we will be there (she'll be living with us), and will do whatever we can, but we've also told her that she is the mother and she will have to find a balance between being a mother and still having some kind of childhood. We don't want her to completely lose out on that.
Right now, she's not working, and hasn't even passed her driver's exam for her permit. She's not a lazy kid, but she is not a self-starter nor is she confident in her own abilities. She's struggled with severe dyslexia and tends to give up easily.
I know she's going to be a great mother, she's always been good with kids, but she's a kid herself, and we expect that I will end up taking on a lot of the "burden" having a newborn in the house creates. She needs to get a job, but how is she going to balance school, a job, and a baby?
Where are my lines? I don't want to overstep and assume the role as parent to this new baby, and I know that will be difficult to avoid. I am terrified of this part, because I have a very rocky relationship with my own mother. My ex-husband and I leaned on her too much as we started our family, and she took on the role of parent to the point that I can't parent right in her in eyes. I don't want to do that to my daughter.
I would like to know if there are other people in this situation and how they handled things. What do I need to avoid, or do, or do differently to make this have a positive outcome?
Thank you for your help!!!