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TLC show on Twins

mygirlsmom
1 Recommendation

Did anyone catch the show on TLC called "Twins by Surprise" tonight. It made me really upset. I was all ready for a fun little stroll down memory lane...They showcased 4 families, 2 of which used no prenatal care, never had an ultrasound, and had multiples at home with no doctors - not realizing they were twins. The babies are doing great! I was like - what's the message, TLC? That even if you're completely irresponsible, your babies will be fine? I wrote them a long email expressing my disgust, telling them that if they want to see the reality of multiple births, they should do a documentary on NICU's. Very frustrating....

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Prenatal care Memory Pregnancy

23 replies

lijn

Sorry to hear TLC did not use this opportunity well, and this is an understatement. So many mothers and children are not thriving well when prenatal care is lacking. What are they thinking? I can imagine that as a mother of multiples you feel very frustrated with such an unrealistic and even dangerous message: "no need to take care of yourself or the babies inside of you."

I have only one child, but having two close friends with twins I have witnessed from the sidelines how incredibly challenging parenting becomes. Especially those months in the NICU (one set of twins was born 10 weeks early).

Shame that the media yet again misses an opportunity to educate people!

Thanks for sharing!!

SUPERMOM416

wow that is crazy! I am glad you wrote them an email!

M-and-D-Mommy

I am so glad that you wrote them an e-mail!!

Wouldn't it be great if they actually did a show or series or whatever on the NICU or followed a few premature births and the babies. Truth be told - they would probably glorify it somehow and make things worse for the parents, trying to make people (ie: in laws, etc;) understand why a preemie has different rules for a while, etc. (why they aren't just a regular baby from the "get go"). I guess, I wish they'd do it and do it right:) LOL!

wades_mommy

I felt the same way...that was my first thought after the show ended-it wasn't "Twins by Surprise", it was "Expecting twins but neglected to get prenatal care!"...

browneyed_girl1975

So sad to hear because as many of us here know that even with good prenatal care your babies can end up in the NICU. I did everything I could for my girls and am thankful that they are doing relatively well now but nothing prepares you for that stay in the NICU. If TLC gets back to you and wants some REAL reality, send them here to talk to those of us who have been in the trenches with multiples!

mygirlsmom

I understand that a certain aspect of "ratings" comes from these "freak" stories about people having crazy things happen to them. But when they choose to showcase EXTREMELY irresponsible people and THEN don't have a doctor or other person to interview to explain how STUPID these people were from day one, it just looks like TLC is condoning their extremely irresponsible behavior. In this day and age, if you don't know you're pregnant with twins, it's 99% of the time b/c you have NEVER been to a doctor, which is what these 2 moms had done. That's NOT something to emulate, and TLC should have explained this!!!!

mygirlsmom

And like Browneyed_girl1975 said, even with the best of prenatal care, multiples can be extremely dangerous!

zoes_mom

this one i did see last night. i agree the woman who gave birth in the tub was a wack job because she got NO prenatal care. two of the other women did get prenatal care but not ultrasounds because it was not a routine thing to do many years ago. in those 2 cases it just shows how far medicaine and technology have come in 30 years...the one that gets me is i didn't know i was pregnant. i have pcos and was 2 1/2 months before i knew i was pregnant but 9 whole months....no way!

mygirlsmom

I thought the second mom was in the 90's? I think ultrasounds have been pretty routine since the mid-80's (mom MIL had her first one in 1982). I agree that 1st mom was a victim of the time she was living in, so that one made sense. With the 2nd two, I personally have a real problem with people having children at home with no doctors. It is just my personal opinion, but my belief is that the moment you get pregnant, your "desires" go out the window, and you give that baby every opportunity for health - that means prenatal care and birthing it in a hospital where doctors are available to save it, heaven for bid the unthinkable should happen (which I would say, 90% of us on this forum had the UNTHINKABLE happen!). My doctors gave me the option for vaginal or c-seciton, due to my condition, and I said "for this circumstance, which is riskier" and he said vaginal was slightly riskier and i said, "then don't even give me the option, it's not about me!" Yes, women "used to" have babies all the time at home, but infant mortality rate was quadruple what it is now. We also "used to" have outhouses and no running water..ha!
I have a friend who swears she didn't know she was pregnant and had the kid at home at 36 weeks-ish - yeah, right!!!!???

EvinsMom

I think I caught a bit of it- was it the show where a woman giving birth in the tub sees feet coming out? And does nothing, but suppress her urge to push. Miraculously, the breech birth turned out well for the 5 lber... however another set of feet appear - and surprise it's another baby- that she didn't know about because she had no prenatal care? And the other twin was a little over 3 lbs due to a velamentuous cord insertion????
That's what Evin had- and such a precarious connection to the placenta (or the membranes around the placenta) usually gets destroyed if the pregnancy goes full term and is a vaginal delivery. The child dies in labor in these cases.
Then the show went on to show her so proud of herself... that's when I moved on- I mean shame on me for giving it any attention.

Good for you for writing. I agree- even though they upped the drama factor- it seemed as if they were condoning the process. The end justified the means type of thing. I was insulted and hate that someone gave this woman a platform at all in which to magnify their stupidity.

3preemiemama

I saw it last night also, My sister and i both have twins, she found out around her 6th mth with them cause the smaller one was always right under her sister, so that was her suprise and they were her first, with mine i found out at 9wks cause i went to the ER becuse i ws bleeding. Anyone can be educated on the internet, look how much we know about our preemeis, but i wouldnt say give me my 15oz baby and i'll take care of her at home!!!! , there are just some things you leave to doctors...
I've seen the show about "I didnt know i was pregnant" I would believe it, I have a close friend who has been pregnant FIVE times and never shows till maybe 8mth and never got morning sickness
The other show i dont understand at all is MTV's 16 and pregnant!!!!!!! that needs to be off the air, i dont need my 14 and 15yr old cousins watching and thinking oh they're doing okay, maybe i can too.

mygirlsmom

I couldn't agree with you more about "16 and pregnant" - I mean, this is the last thing we need young girls seeing!!!!

BrandonsMummy

UGH... Im with you all. The mm who gave birth at homr in the tub at 34 weeks with NO help... both babies breech. Seriously who does this?? Very irresponsable.

lalacakes

I saw the end of it with the breech babies and I was so incredibly mad. I did everything right...took care of myself when I knew we were trying to conceive, went to all sorts of prenatal visits and specialists, you name it and I still lost one of my twins. The reason for Samuel's death was not something that anyone could have done anything about but had I NOT had prenatal care he would have died inutero, Jacob (our survivor - his identical twin) would have died as a result of his death and I could have died as well. When we were told all of this we had to make the decision to deliver them early to give Jacob the best chance at survival. Samuel's chances of survival were so small but we knew if we didn't deliver them then we would lose them both. It was a heartbreaking situation.

My first son was breech (not footling like those twins were...he was butt first!) but I delivered him vaginally. After his body came out and his head was still in my vaginal canal my contractions stopped. The doctors that were delivering him were pulling him trying to get him out. His APGAR scores were really low when he first got out but he was fine when they did the second ones. After that experience I was really upset with the doctors...they had tried to turn him when I was about 38 weeks but he didn't, they took measurements to see if he could fit and they said he would so they lead me to believe that he might turn on his own and if he didn't that delivering a breech baby vaginally would be safe. If I hadn't been a first time mom (and totally naive and trusting) and had I known all of the risks for him I would have had a c-section in a heartbeat. I never would have put him in danger.

I conceived my twins naturally (not that I have a problem with IVF or any other help that a couple needs to conceive) and I think that the media needs to do the stories on how dangerous it is to have twins or other multiples, not glorify people like Jon and Kate plus 8 (sorry if any of you are fans!) and this TLC show. I used to be glued to anything that had to do with twins so I could see what I was missing. It was like I needed to live the life I had planned for myself through those that were living it but after a couple of months I would just get so upset watching shows like that because I didn't have my twins and they did. I know it is something I need to work through but like I wrote, I did everything right and there are so many people that don't and I have a son that will grow up not having his twin brother with him and my two oldest sons that don't have their youngest brother in their lives and my husband and I who prayed and prayed that Samuel would be okay. Well, I guess I have ranted enough. Mygirlsmom - I am so glad that you wrote that letter. I have often times thought that I needed to do the same thing - to have all of our struggles made known to the public

mygirlsmom

Lalacakes -
You are a perfect example of why these shows are so awful. I am soooo terribly sorry for your loss. I too conceived my twins naturally, and we too did every possible thing to take care of the pregnancy. It makes me sick to stomach seeing woman who just don't care, b/c the REALITY is multiples are high risk and complicated.
As for the letters - I grew up with a father who writes letters to the editor, to coaches, you name it, whenever he feels offended. I do it all the time too. I guess our attitude is, if someone doesn't speak up, who will? And my dad and I have had TONS of positive responses after writing letters. I will definitely keep you informed on TLC's response. They say they respond w/in 7 business days, we'll see...have a great 4th!

kkbadham

I did not get to see this show. However, if anyone is interested in a show that portrays pregnancy/delivery more realistically, I am a fan of Deliver Me on Discovery Health. They have done many episodes on complications of pregnancy including pre-e, incompetent cervix, birth defects, loss of pregnancy, premature birth, multiples, and currently one of the docs on the show is on bed rest due to placenta previa. I think it is great how honest it is and how accurate.

3preemiemama

Kim-
Ive seen that one also,it's very good, they even had a few episodes on micro preemies.

Avagrandma

I must say I saw it and I was very upset. The one with the two breach babies really got to me. We cannot encourage such things. I said to myself, "How many babies died, and you are not showing that." I have a very good friend who had twins and did not know she was pregnant with 2. This was years ago before ultra sound. She had such a rough time and finally a doctor heard 2 heartbeats and she was hospitalized immediately. She often says how that would have been avoided today. Reading and studying does not take the place of good prenatal care.

sshuckhart

I did not see this show (not much of a tv watcher - more of a book worm:-) ) but just hearing about it makes me mad!
Like others have said, I too took extremely good care of my self both before conceiving and while pregnant and yet still ended up on bed rest at 21 weeks after a cerclage for an incompetent cervix, air lifted not once but twice during my pregnancy to a bigger hospital, my water broke at 26 weeks and I delivered my twins via c-section at 28w2d. It makes me MAD that women can be so CARELESS!! Not that I would want anything to happen to any of those poor, innocent babies, but those moms need a wake up call!

Tinkerbellas_Mama

"16 and pregnant" is actually a very good thing for teens. They show the difficulties of being a teen mom and certainly don't glorify it. I think it sends a positive message to teenagers.......it does not encourage getting pregnant at such a young age.

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