We are all parents of preemies. The first reaction to learning of terminal illness of your baby is to deny the reality of the situation. It is a normal reaction to rationalize overwhelming emotions. It is a defense mechanism that buffers the immediate shock. We block out the words and hide from the facts. This is a temporary response that carries us through the first wave of pain. As the masking effects of denial and isolation begin to wear, reality and its pain re-emerge. We are not ready. The intense emotion is deflected from our vulnerable core, redirected and expressed instead as anger. The anger may be aimed at the baby itself . Rationally, we know the babyis not to be blamed. We feel guilty for being angry, and this makes us more angry. Do not hesitate to ask your doctor to give you extra time or to explain just once more the details of your loved one’s illness. Arrange a special appointment or ask that he telephone you at the end of his day. Ask for clear answers to your questions regarding medical diagnosis and treatment. Understand the options available to you. Take your time. The normal reaction to feelings of helplessness and vulnerability is often a need to regain control.Nobody can help you go through it more easily or understand all the emotions that you’re going through. But others can be there for you and help comfort you through this process. The best thing you can do is to allow yourself to feel the grief as it comes over you. Resisting it only will prolong the natural process of healing.
Sometimes all you can do is pray and believe me when I say it works. I gave birth to twins at 24 weeks and 5 days. It was hard I dont dont how I made it thur it I was at my breaking point so I just got on my knees and prayed for my little girls. They have been in the hospital for 3 months but they are doing good. They both are in open cribs. They both are eating out of an bottle and they both are breathing room air. I am happy to say that we will be going home in Feb. So just know that I will be praying for you and I hope that you will do the same thing for me .