I'm feeling very sad right now. Rough day with lots of mixed emotions.
In brief... b/g twins born at 29 weeks gestation after months of unexplained bleeding and weeks of leaking amniotic fluid. Tomorrow they will be 13w5d old, or 2w5d after their due date. Their paths in life have already diverged and it's making me very sad right now. I know it might be good to have one home first, etc, but the gap isn't going to be small... and it's just hitting me hard right now.
My son is coming home tomorrow... and I am thrilled about that, I really am. A bit scared about leaving all those wonderful medical professionals of course, but very excited.
My daughter, on the other hand, is still so sick. She has serious lung problems and was moved to Childrens Hospital Los Angeles two weeks ago. She's still on a ventilator and in the words of the pulmonologist today, it's going to take a "long, long, long time." Her lungs were rated a 9.5 or 10 on a scale from 1 to 10, with 1 being good. Most of the time I'm fine with everything going on and I know she's in the right place, but it is really hard right now.
Odds are that they are going to be very far apart developmentally, never mind how far apart they are geographically. Then a friend called and told me about her 7 month old twins about how they are buddies and play together. Break my heart, ok? I want MY babies to play together... I want them both to be healthy. I want to know that my daughter is going to LIVE, but no one can tell me that.
Oh, and to top it off, animal issues. Our dog is going to stay with a friend indefinitely. I know this is the right decision (dander is bad for my son's lungs (he was on a vent for about 2 months), old age, not getting enough attention, increasingly rough with my older child) but it is hard. She's been with me 12 years and I love her... and I know she will likely not move back. Then, and it is just ridiculous, two cats have "moved into" the crawl space under the house so I'm getting to deal with that. Ugh.
I'd love to hear how others have dealt with having one twin come home before the other. Thanks -- Annie
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One twin coming home first
- By AnnieB312
- Posted October 26, 2009 at 11:25 pm · 5 replies
- In In the NICU/PICU
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- By Feistylioness78
- Posted October 26, 2009 at 11:33 pm
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Christian came home in feb 08 after 3 months in the NICU. Bren has only been in our home a total of hrs in dec 08. He cannot come home w/o nursing.
- By ShellyNel
- Posted October 27, 2009 at 9:04 am
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Our girls came home at different times. Our larger twin Caroline, came home after 3 months in the NICU, Olivia came home a little over a month later. You are right about having one home, yes you want them both there, but it is soooo hard to leave the other at the hospital. I sure do empathize with you. It also makes it hard because then you do not want to leave home, away from your baby at home, but you need to go to the hospital to visit the other twin. My husband and I took turns, one night I went to the hospital, the next I stayed home and he went to visit. I could not help but think of the research that says that the twins do better when they are together. We tried to get them to let Caroline stay, but no, the hospital would not let us do it. They are developmentally about 1 month apart, Olivia does things a month behind her sister. Also, she is lighter in weight and shorter. But, I want to encourage you by telling you that she has a leader in her sister which has helped her development. She sees all the things she needs to do, has hands on time with Caroline and because of that, I am convinced she is doing well and learning. So be encouraged, that when your daughter comes home, she will still have that special bond with her brother, she is his twin and that cannot be taken from her. And he will lead her in the right direction! The hardest work for you, I think, is when they both are home! Whew! It is a lot but such a wonderful blessing and it is only for a small amount of time in their lives that they are at this wonderful baby stage. So be sure to hold them lots, even when you feel exhausted. I did not think I could be more exhausted than having them in the hospital, but I was wrong! So be organized and geared up for the wonderful day when they will both be with you! I look forward to hearing when your beautiful daughter comes home and congrats on having your son home! Take advantage of that one on one time because after that is 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 all the time lol. Blessings!
- By ShellyNel
- Posted October 27, 2009 at 9:06 am
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PS we have a really old dog as well and chose to keep her and put the cats out. We bought a new vacuum and kept her out of their room and the den where they mainly were. It is a hard choice. However, are girls did have lung issues but not as severe as it sounds yours have so I think you are making the right choice, a hard one at that.
- By 3preemiemama
- Posted October 27, 2009 at 11:30 am
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your twins sound alot like mine, Eli came home after 5mths in the NICU and Chloe came home @ 16mths, also because of lung issues. It is very hard to have one home and one in the hospital. Luckly for me I had really great nurses at the hospital that understood if i didnt make it everyday and would take pics of her for me, if my son was sick at home & I couldnt go to the hospital. Hopefully this will not last as long as mine did and she can be home with her brother.
Best wishes to you and your family
Steph
- By danisue76
- Posted October 28, 2009 at 10:03 am
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I have 13 month old twin boys who were also born at 29 weeks. Although they did not have the lung problems you children have, my one son did have grade 3 and 4 brain hemorages and then hydrocephalus. Also had resevoir surgery to relieve the pressure. He developed NEC which was treated with meds. Then right before discharge he crashed. Unsure if it was because of to many changes at once or what. Anyway. They were in 51 and 71 days. We were told Waylon would be severely disabled so we assumed they would be on completely different levels. Today both boys are doing awesome and are about the same level. Waylon never showed any signs of disability. I know our situations are different but I wanted to share my info with you.
About the dog, I assume you are worried because of the dander . I would talk to the dr about that. I had 2 cats and a dog when my boys came home . My problem was and still is, my dog is very annoying and wants to be all over the boys.
Good Luck and congrats on your miracles.
Danielle
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