My son dosn't always respond to his name

He's a year now and he dosen't always respond to his name. he Was evaluated by E/I and she told me that he's not autistic and no cp either. sometimes he looks right at me like what now mom, but other times he will completely ignore me. Even if I'm yelling his name. he used to be VERY social and smile at everyone, now he really won't smile at new people. He laughs plays with toys and with my four year old.

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Hi mommyinneed,
I've wondered about those things myself. I've been told that stranger anxiety is very common in one-year-olds. My daughter is only 7 mo adjusted and she cries when anyone but my husband or I hold her, and only smiles for a select few people.

As for answering to their names, did your EI evaluator say when babies are supposed to do that consistently? My DD doesn't but maybe she's too young. As a librarian, I've noticed that many children and toddlers will ignore you when you call them if they're having fun and don't want to stop what they're doing. I never noticed with babies though, hopefully someone else with an older baby will know.

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We asked our pediatrician the same things when our girls were about 11 months or so. He said a few things that we thought was interesting. 1 - as long as the baby responds to you some of the time, that show they know who you are and who they are, but babies and toddlers will ignore you when their focus is elsewhere or they're just not in the mood (kinda like husbands ;) 2 - signs of autism and other social disorders are typically first noticed when a child doesn't look at his parents when a stranger enters a room. For a child to NOT smile and to have noticeable anxiety around strangers is actually a really good sign, that he understands the family structure and that this is an outsider. He looks to parents for approval, and then slowly gets to feel out the stranger.
Sounds like he's developing his own personality and is beginning to assert his independence - I think that's a good thing! Of course, if you 're actually worried that his behaviors are beyond the realm of normal, you should definitely take him in to his doctor. Both of my kids ignore me half the time, and it takes one of my daughters a long time to warm up to strangers. I think that's normal, but she didn't start doing that until about 10 months old (16 months now).

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I agree with mygirlsmom's about stranger anxiety. In fact, at one of our son's development clinic appointments when he was somewhere around 9 months adjusted, the doctor was expecting our son to be a little hesitant around her initially. That's what kids that age are supposed to do. True to form, he was a little hesitant. A couple months earlier, he was all smiles.

As for not responding to his name, our son has never been great about responding to his name. He does in fact know his name. Much like our cats who pretend they don't know their names unless there is something in it for them, our son only responds to his name when it is convenient for him. Most of the time, our requests are deemed inconvenient and he ignores them. He's 2, but I can't recall a period of time when he really responded to us calling his name. And there's never been a time when I would have categorized him as obedient; he is pretty darn independent. He can say his name. If you ask him who mommy loves, he'll say "Henry!"

I think that this is one of those things where if your gut is telling you something isn't right, then make an appointment with the pediatrician to discuss development. Or just leave a telephone message, asking the ped to call you back. It is always better to be safe than sorry. Development is one of those areas where you'll likely get all sorts of people telling you things are fine b/c their children are fine and most of the time, things will be fine; but it is better to go with your gut and get a professional opinion.

Have you gotten his hearing checked? Is there a particular side or angle from which he responds less?

If he does respond to you some of the time, then I suspect that the other times he just doesn't want to listen to you or he is maximizing his mental efforts somewhere else. So I wouldn't panic. But I would go ahead and get a professional evaluation.

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thanks ladies for the advice, he starts physical therapy in a couple of weeks so this is one thing that we are going to work on. He is going to get a hearing test soon, I don't think that he passed his at the 1 year checkup. but I could be wrong. It sure did take that nurse a lot of trys to see if he responded to some of the sounds. Like I've mentioned before in previous posts, he has torticollis and will not turn his head around very far. My gut tells me that something might be wrong, but then again I have had many gut feelings about him that have all been proven wrong.

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I've learned a lot from many of the posts on this site, but have never gotten around to sharing my experiences.

My son is a 28 weeker, who is now 22 months adjusted. I too worried about him not responding to his name, from the time he was about 12 mos adj. He never liked to cuddle and preferred to be by himself. He would cry and stiffen if I tried to hold him for any time beyond what was necessary to feed him. He would actually relax after I placed him in his crib. Needless to say, my thoughts immediately went to autism.

He's been in EI since before he turned 1 (PT & OT for torticollis and motor delays) and started Speech Therapy at 15 mos adj. He also sees a Dietician b/c of eating issues (he's on a primarily liquid diet...) and a Behaviorist since he has issues interacting with his 5 yr old sister (for whatever reason, he's always physically attacking her). All the therapists and docs did think he may have autism too. He's still quite young, so no one wanted to label him so quickly.

After a couple of months of Speech his therapist suggested to get his ears checked. My son was tested in Feb and again in March. Turned out that my son had significant amounts of fluid in both ears. He got tubes put in in May (delay due to scheduling and son's doc's 'wait & see' attitude...). The changes in my son are absolutely incredible. His vocabulary has exploded, he's more social and he does respond to his name - when he wants to (typical 2 yr old behavior). He even tries to sing!

My son's torticollis has been resolved, so he's not as stiff and uncomfortable anymore. He enjoys his cuddle time now but we're still working on getting him to relax and cuddle for extended periods of time. The docs have pretty much ruled out autism (he had a psych eval too), since he's become very social, is smiley and shows affection & compassion (esp to our dog!). We're still working on his relationship with my daughter and PT/OT/Diet/Speech will still be around for a while. But, we've certainly have come a long way. I've learned that with everything - it's all on his terms!

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wow. that is amazing that your son went from not wanting anything to do with affection to becoming a different child after he could hear better! that is a wonderful outcome! I believe my sons torticollis makes his body stiff too. He also has significant gross motor delays.

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I second mommyinneed's "wow" comment, gmchaddha. That's really awesome.

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Regarding your comment "My gut tells me that something might be wrong, but then again I have had many gut feelings about him that have all been proven wrong."

It is much better to have your gut proven wrong than to not go with it b/c other people are tell you it is nothing. When I was pregnant, a couple weeks before my son was born, I didn't feel right. And everyone told me how "that was normal" and how they felt tired too when they were pregnant, etc. I'm quite sure that my feelings of tired were beyond the norm. I also never felt my son move. The doctor told me that it was probably just me not interpreting my body correctly. That was said 6 days before my visit to triage. Point being, your gut may sense something that other people can't see. So talk with the doctor. And if the doctor tries to blow it off, raise the concern again until you are sure that you are really being heard and your son receives the evaluation he deserves. And if it turns out to be nothing, well then have a family celebration! :)

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That is a good point katek. I don't think it will hurt to be persistent and get answers even if it is nothing. I would much rather know then to be in the dark about something. I think that my kids pediatrician knows that I'm a paranoid mom, but at the same time she also knows that I am not oblivious to the health of my children. I think that having children with health problems gives me the right to be persistent in any circumstance.

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Thanks! Things do get better one day at a time (although I wish the same could be said about my son's eating...!).

I was told that to him, things were as if he was living under water. It affected all his areas of development. He did get his ears tested at birth and again at age 1, but they were close to normal range, so no one thought to check his ears from age 1 to 2. He also didn't get any ear infections, so fluid in the ears was never a concern.

Good luck with everything and never give up hope!

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Why are you worried about CP? Have you spoken to your doctor? Only a doctor can tell you about CP not EI. It took me 1.5 years and 5 peds until someone was willing to send us to a neurologist for Jude he had a MRI and got the CP diagnosis about a week after his second birthday. In our case Jude was "very mild" and as he aged more things started to "pop up" before the "label" was given.

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