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Glasses

katek
  • By katek
  • Posted November 3, 2009 at 10:50 pm · 33 replies
  • In Open discussion
  • Shared with the public
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We took our son (2.5 years old, born 25 weeks 2 days) to his annual ophthalmology appointment today. I called this morning to make an appointment and it was today or wait until January. Fortunately, I went ahead and made the appointment.

We thought that our son was doing well. We saw no evidence of a vision problem. As it turns out, his right eye is becoming near sighted at a faster rate than his left eye. Consequently, the doctor wants him in glasses to avoid amblyopia.

I'm sad over the situation. It isn't so much the glasses per se. I remember saying in the NICU that if the only lasting consequence of his prematurity was he'd need glasses early, so be it. Both my husband and I wear glasses (the odds weren't on his side in terms of being glass-free). But I'm frustrated that we didn't see it coming. And it just gives me that "when is the other shoe going to drop" feeling that I probably haven't felt in over a year.

If those of you who have had to get glasses for your toddlers have any recommendations on what to look for in toddler glasses or what to avoid, I would appreciate whatever advice you have to offer. Thanks!

Explore topics in this discussion:

Exercise Dyslexia Surgery Amblyopia Eye glasses Nystagmus Fever Hearing aids Memory Esotropia Vision therapy Stress

33 replies

mygirlsmom

Hi Kate-
My niece wears glasses and this note if from my sister:
Our daughter started wearing glasses at age 10 months to correct her crossing eyes (strabismus), and they have definitely done the trick (she's 5yrs old now). Surprisingly, she kept them on most of the time when she was little, and now wears them all the time. The doctor had said that she would wear them if they helped her see, and on this, he was pretty right. It became a habit eventually.

I would highly recommend getting glasses with the wraparound arms(the arms wrap around the back of the ears), as they help keep the glasses on while she runs, jumps, does summer saults, etc. We've found the Disney brand of glasses to be the best in terms of durability, look and fit, and they sell them at Pearl Vision. You may have to speak with a manager to get toddler's glasses as they don't always have a good selection in the showroom. They can order them from a catalog (that's what we do).

And, if you have a flexible spending plan through work, you can put the glasses toward that.
One more thing, she said that often the people at the vision places don't tell you about the catalog, so you do have to ask - it took her a little while to figure that out.
Good luck!

M-and-D-Mommy

Hi Kate,
I don't have any advise to offer, but just wanted to tell you that Henry will be a cutie with or without his glasses (but I am sure mommy already knew that;)!!

You reminded me that we need to make our appt with the eye dr, too. One of my girls has one eye that slightly gets off track from the other. Most people do not see it, but I see it all day. You can see it in pics sometimes, too. The dr has seen it before, but I think we need to get back for our annual and to have it checked again (make sure the problem has not become worse). She may eventually have to wear glasses to correct the issue. We will see...

Let me know how he handles the actual wearing of the glasses, since he has never worn them before. I am afraid mine will be taking them off all day (or her sister will;). Best of luck on the eye glasses search.

katek

mygirlsmom,

Thank you and your sister for the advice! While I'm usually not a big fan of large chains, we really like Pearle Vision. When we lived in Philly (not known for its customer service), we were impressed by Pearle Vision. We stuck with them when we moved West and have been equally happy with their service. So glad to know that they are also good with kids!


M-and-D-Mommy,

Henry really likes his sunglasses, so hopefully he won't be too uncooperative! Given that he can see w/o glasses, I suspect that he will protest. The doctor said that she wants the brain to work on recognizing the signals from the right eye (the weaker one), otherwise it might decide not to bother with it. Her pamphlet on amblyopia said that vision is fairly set by 9 years old and that it was best to get both eyes working equally hard as soon as a problem was detected. Hopefully, we'll be able to find a neat pair or two of Disney glasses so that Henry finds them stylish.

My mind is still wrapping around the issue of how we didn't know this was coming. I mean, in a general sense we knew it was coming at some point in the future, but we truly did not see a single sign of him having any vision problems...sigh.

Chocoholix

Hi Kate!
John has been wearing glasses for a year now, he got them right after his 3rd birthday.
His eye problems are actually quite severe, not that he is blind or anything but he has 3.5 degrees of atigmatism and myopia in each eye!
Neither me or my husband wear glasses, in fact I recently had my eyes tested because of headaches and according to the doctor my eyes couldn't be more perfect! So it was kind of a shock he needed glasses.

Even more so, he wasn't *that* earl either (although he did have a rough time in utero) and he never had ROP!! It's just like the rest of him, his eyes just didn't develop correctly.
On the other hand as soon as he got his glasses his gait improved, he wasn't running into walls anymore and he is not falling down as much.
It was the neurologist who saw the problem when he flashed a light in his eyes and obviously he saw something and sent us straight to the opthalmologist.

He's done great with them so far :) We call them his special eyes that help him see like a super hero :) He will be four on the 14th!
They didn't put him in glasses right away, in fact at 2.3 months they wanted to keep an eye on it but by his 3rd birthday it was certain he was getting glasses :(

I know what you mean about waiting for the other shoe to drop. I feel the same way: first it was the struggle to get pregnant, then I lost one of the triplets, then I was told John was not developing right and will not live, then they were early but alive, then he wasn't developing as a toddler, then we got his diagnosis... I just want normal for a change... every time we have a consultation I am like "what will they tell us now!?" you know what I mean?

Hang in there... I want to think there is light at the end of the tunnel and one day I will look back in all of this and think "It was hard but look at him now, it was SO worth it!!"

Warm hugs!
Tina

elizagracesmom

I have heard good things about the online store:

www.zennioptical.com

A number of parents in the micropreemie group have gotten nice glasses there at great prices.

This other website also offers a good selection of toddler frames:

www.solobambini.com

Anne, mom to Eliza Grace
www.eliza-grace-micro-preemie.blogspot.com

Henrysmom

Hi Kate,
I don't have experience w/ toddlers wearing glasses, but wanted to let you know not to feel bad about not catching this. The good thing is that the drs caught it, which is their job! And since it was caught early, it should be easily corrected. Amblyopia tends to run in families, so we already know to look out for this and we have let our ped know that it runs in our family. Fortunately, both of my kids have been ok so far.

My mom was diagnosed w/ amblyopia after she was 10yrs old. She didn't realize that the way she saw things wasn't normal. So when she went in for eye exams, she cheated and peaked around the spoon. No one realized it until it was too late. She wore a patch for a while w/ glasses to strengthen the weaker eye. But unfortunately, it didn't work and she is now legally blind in one eye. Henry should be fine since this was caught early for him!

We are in the same situation as you... both me and my husband wear glasses, so our kids are probably destined to need them as well. In addition to poor vision and amblyopia, my husband also has a rare eye disorder. So we have to look out for that as well! Hopefully our kids will get our good teeth! ;-)

Anna5

Hi,Kate,I am kind of dreading our 3 year appt in June.I feel like same thing might happen-we never see it coming and next thing you know she needs glasses.I just want to wish you luck finding good glasses and I hope Henry keeps them on.

Avasmom

For some reason glasses are just like having visible orthotics- you know people are going to look. My Livi, now 11, has always been very small for her age so when we had to find glasses at age 2 all that was out there were those pink plastic cat's eye things. I still get misty when I think about it. Her vision went from what I thought was normal to +10 in a matter of two days. She really did have to wear coke bottle glasses...

But! We found a local optician, not in a chain, who created magic for us. He ordered Liv's lenses from China and cut down teeny tiny Stride Rite frames, actually remaking them so they fit her face perfectly. The lenses were 1/3 the thickness of the regular +10 (and they were flat, not round and protruding). A big plus was they were light and didn't magnify those little blue eyes like most people's with that high of a script.

We can now buy her glasses almost anywhere but are pretty loyal to this guy. We look at on-line catalogs and he orders whatever we need- and matches the local prices. He's made a name for himself helping people like us. I know a lot of moms who've gotten extremely cute and trendy frames at Wal Mart, too.

Good luck! I bet he's the most adorable boy when he gets his new magic glasses..

Rhonda

Drumaj

Matthew has had his glasses for about a year. He was 1 yr (9 months adjusted) when he got them. Our Dr recommended a glasses place that had a lot of experience with little glasses. It is a local place, but they have a few stores in the area. I was told that the big chains aren't really used to fitting such small babies and children. His glasses are made by Fisher Price. Matthew has really only recently started wearing the glasses consistently (about 2-3 months ago). He had ROP and had 2 laser eye surgeries for it so we weren't too surprised. His twin brother Joshua doesn't have glasses yet, but they think he will likely need them in the next few years. He also had ROP and one surgery to correct it. People suggested to me getting a few books that have characters with glasses (Arthur and such), read the books often and point out how the glasses are needed. I was also told to try putting the glasses on them when they are sleeping, right before they wake up, so then when they get up they don't notice them. It is going to be rough in the beginning with the constant pulling them off the face. Get to know the people in your glasses place well because you will probably need to get them adjusted often. Good Luck with them!
Erin

SpeasHill

Kate, I'm sorry for this surprise blow. Like you said, it's not a huge one, but I hear that the surprise part is. When you are doing all you can to catch everything before big problems develop, it's really discouraging for something to pop up unannounced. It's one thing for you to have your suspicions, check it out with the doc (or fight to have a doc check it out), have your suspicions confirmed, and go from there...then you had some time to deal with it, to process it as it was becoming an issue, to pre-empt it, and, in a small way, to control it by simply knowing about it. When it's a surprise, though, you miss out on that processing time and the comfort of knowing that you, as mom, knew when something was wrong. But, even as on top of things as we try to be, sometimes things just crop up. And, like Henrysmom alluded to, I think vision issues are tough to catch - Henry doesn't know that what he is seeing is different, so he can't communicate a problem to you...and it seems like kids often don't show obvious symptoms of vision issues because they learn to accommodate so well. So don't be too hard on yourself, and keep trusting your instincts. You've got good ones, you back them up with solid information, and you act on what you catch. I have every confidence that you will handle this issue with grace, as always. And Henry will look darling in specs.

mygirlsmom

I ditto Speashill :)
My sister has told me that it is so absolutely difficult assessing her daughter's vision. At times they have thought she has dyslexia, they have treated her for nearsightedness, etc. The one thing they know she has is stabismus (b/c you can see cross eyes), but all of the other stuff is soooo very hard to test on a small child. Sometimes, when she couldn't read the chart (b/c of her vision - at age 3) the doctor would yell at her and tell her to stop being difficult! My sister KNEW she literally couldn't read it, but it was such a challenge to get the right diagnosis, and it still tends to be. You are an absolutely fabulous mother, don't be down on yourself. I know that's easier said than done.

BarbaraK2U

Kate,

At Henry's age his whole world is just a few feet in front of him, so he was seeing "fine" as far as anyone could tell. There would have been no way for you to detect that his eyes were functioning unevenly. Stop beating yourself up, immediately!! It's definitely shocking when prior exams are all "fine", which is what happened with us, and then suddenly your child needs glasses, but there would have been no way for you to anticipate it. Don't stress over it.

My daughter had ROP and laser surgery and glasses at 2+ years old. She has always worn Flexon glasses. They have stood up well to her abuse, and they make them in very small sizes. Her opthalmologist stocked them in their eyeglass department, which means we paid a fortune but got them more quickly. They also handled warranty claims when the lenses got scratched up (buy the warranty against scratches if one is offered!!) and in the shuffle I'd end up with an extra pair of glasses (always handy)!

Now that she is 6 and wears her glasses religiously, I'm thinking of exploring other brands to get the cost down somewhat (her glasses cost us upwards of $200). Since she's autistic, she's probably been as rough on them as a 2 year old would be and still doesn't treat them as gently as we'd like, but there are more options on the market now that twist and flex and still retain their shape. I've been very happy with the Flexon brand, however, so do check them out when you shop.

As someone else mentioned, definitely go with the wraparound temples. The elasticized band that goes around the back of the head isn't as effective.

Be prepared for the possibility of many rapid changes in the severity of Henry's prescription as each appointment passes. This happened with us and it never ceases to amaze me how "bad" her eyes are. We've been told that at some point they hope it will stop progressing and when she's a teenager she can (hopefully) wear contacts (although with autism...who knows) and when she's an adult if they stabilize she can (ironically) have laser surgery to hopefully get rid of the glasses. Full circle, eh?

M-and-D-Mommy

Hi Kate,
I hope you are feeling better about things today. I agree with just about every poster. You could not have known. He is just too small. And maybe this was the other shoe that dropped:)

Looks like you got some great advise on the glasses!!

Thanks to you for the reminder about my girls' eye appt. I made the appt today, we go back in December:)

drakesmom

HI Kate,

You have already gotten a lot of great advice about glasses and I completely agree with everyone about not being too hard on yourself. I just wanted to second the recommendation for the Flexon kids frames. Before having my son I worked at a large optometry/opthamology practice and saw first hand how durable the frames are. That being said they can be pricey so shop around.
My son has been in glasses for about 4 months now and doesnt give us any problems other than chewing on the temples while riding in the back seat on occasion. He to is nearsighted but also has an astigmatism. We are also dealing with esotropia and possibly the beginnings of amblyopia. The glasses seem to help him so much he is happy to wear them. As much as I like flexons and had my heart set on getting them for Drake even though he is over 2 yrs he is still too small for the frames. His eyesize is only a 36 and flexons start in a 39. So we went with a disney frame that wraps around his ears. They are still made by Marchon the same company that makes flexon and we have been very pleased with them. I was fortunate in that the Dr I used to work for let me get Drakes glasses "at cost" so I also added crizal alize antireflective coating to his lenses. Most kids lenses are polycarbonate because it is impact resistant and the polycarb offers scratch restistance itself but the crizal offers even more protection against scratches and there is virtually no glare. Not sure if I would have purchased the crizal if it had not been for the significant discount but it is something to consider.
Good Luck with the glasses!!

SpeasHill

You may want to check out www.babieswithglasses.com for some fashion inspiration. They have an adorable gallery!

BarbaraK2U

Drakesmom,

I got the Crizal for my daughter and I haven't had to bring her glasses in at all this time due to scratches. I'm sure you can relate when I tell you that I had to bring them in a LOT before then! :-)

Are you sure about the 39 size being the smallest for the Flexon? I thought my daughter had them even smaller, but it's been 4 years since she first started getting glasses so my memory may well be faulty.

katek

RE: M-and-D-Mommy's comment: "And maybe this was the other shoe that dropped:)"

God willing!


Thanks everyone for your advice! As you think of additional things (like how to convince a kid to keep them on!), please keep it coming.

We went to Pearle Vision to pick up my glasses today. Unfortunately, all but one pair was way too big for him. I asked about a catalog, but the saleperson said that they didn't have one.

As Henry looked in the mirror with one pair he was trying, he said "I look cute" and "Harry Potter!"

We're going to try at a couple more places tomorrow.

FlorinsMom

We've had good luck with the durability of Mira Flex, with a strap on the back.

http://www.miraflex.info/

Before these, we tried pricey hard plastic Disney glasses that were snapped like a wishbone by her brother. So, we kissed $300 goodbye and started over. Even then, I had to be persistent and try different stores before finding one that sold the MiraFlex ones. They were about $120 for the frames.

FlorinsMom

I forgot to say Florin was regularly checked and the doctor didn't see her vision getting worse and her eye turning inward until she was 3 ~ so I was also disappointed to go from needing nothing to having glasses.

I think I looked at the Flexon glasses and I believe they have the small metal pieces that rest on the nose, with a tiny piece of plastic? I chose to avoid glasses with those as they break easily also, and the whole frame needs to be replaced then... Our shop replaces the frame once in the first year and then most frame are $50 after that to replace..

missypm

Our DS has been wearing glasses for about a year now. We had to take him to a pediatric ophthalmologist as a follow up after seeing the retina doctor. We had seen the doctor twice, once in the fall of 2007 right after DS was released by the retina doctors (he had stage 1 ROP that cleared on its own), and then in the spring of 2008, and the fall of 2008. In the fall of 2008, he said that DS needed glasses. He didn't really explain clearly as to why, so we actually drove 3 hours away to get a 2nd opinion from a very well respected pediatric ophthalmologist at a renowned medical center near us. He recommended glasses as well, but explained why. Our son is actually far sighted, and both doctors explained that farsightedness was not a result of prematurity, that nearsightedness was. At the point in time DS was being checked, they said that his brain was working hard to focus (which was why we noticed no vision problems), but, that if we didn't put glasses on him, his eyes would be crossed by age two because of him straining. Well, I was just devastated and heartbroken. My concern is other people and children't comments. I have had some people (such as one cashier at Target who told me he looked like a little nerd-talk about breaking my heart and making me furious at the same time), but I have had sooooo many people (and I mean a ton-at least 4-5 when I take him to the grocery store each week) comment on how adorable he is in glasses. I do have concern with how kids will treat him, and sometimes when we have went to parties, kids do look at him. However, I have noticed since he has had glasses this past year, that I have seen more and more children in glasses-much more than I ever saw growing up.
We chose the Flexon glasses from our pediatric ophthalmologist office because the frames are bendable, and they also have a wrap around piece.
I have from the get go told DS that we have to put his "big boy" glasses on and made it like it was something really cool to do, so he's done pretty well with them. There are times that he will just take them off (sometimes when he is frustrated about something and that is his act of "defiance"), but usually when he is tired.
I was surprised that DS had to get glasses-I don't wear any and neither did my mom, but DH had to, and his parents both wear them as does my dad. While I was upset and a little heartbroken at first, I am actually thankful that we found out when we did. To me, the positive in it is because my son was a preemie, he was getting his eyes checked, which we probably wouldn't have done so early if he had been born full term. As a result, I hope that we have caught it early enough that his eyes will be in much better shape than they would have had we waited. I know everyone's case is different, but we were on the bi-yearly exam schedule, but when we went in the spring of this year (6 months after DS having glasses), the doctor said his eyes were looking great, and that he didn't need to see him for a year (unless we noticed his eyes crossing with the glasses on). He said that it is possible that he may not have to wear glasses past 11-12 years old. I know this can all change, but I like to think that we have that hope because we caught it early.
As others have mentioned, glasses are a very obvious thing which makes our children different, and that to me hurts me the most because after all we've been through, I want him to be like everyone else. However, if this is the worst thing we have to face after having a 29 weeker, than I am thankful.
Good luck to you in finding glasses that fits your sons needs and I will say from experience that you will just adore how cute your little guy looks in his glasses. You really get used to it and that's just how they look. By the way, DS has has a strong prescription-I believe it is +6 in both eyes. He still looks adorable to me.

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