I am the mother of a 23 weeker(1lb 2oz) who is now 4 mos actual. She has already had three surgeries within the first month of life. The first was a PDA ligation, next was a reservoir for her hydrocephalus due to a bilateral grade 4 bleed, and then an ileostomy. Its hard to watch such a small and innocent baby go through all these things that we as parents never had to endure. Anyhow, she goes back into surgery on Wednesday to have her take down (reattach her intestines) and maybe two weeks after that she will have a vp shunt placed. Ive been doing good and holding up so far but the more i read on her most serious condition (grade 4 IVH) i get saddened because i dont know what her outcome will be and sometimes i wonder if ill be able to handle looking at her in such a helpless situation and wonder if it was something i did to make her come so early. I know its not my fault but i cant help but think it is. Somebody please help me because i feel like i could lose my mind at any given time. Also if you have a child in the same situation as mines could you please let me know how your child is progessing, i would really appreciate it, thanks.