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My son is 8 months old (6 adj) and has been sleeping in our bed ever since he came home from the NICU. This has been great for us (bonding, on-demand BFing, etc), but I'm wondering about transitioning him to his own bed.
For those of you who co-slept with your baby, when and how did you transition out of your bed?
Hi,
We started off by putting the crib in our bedroom and our son would be put to sleep there. Once he was sleeping through the night in his crib, we moved it to his bedroom...he still occasionally co-sleeps, but we find it helps if he falls asleep in his playpen first and we put him in the crib after he's fallen asleep-if he's awake, he just won't go in the crib on his own...
All five of my children have slept with me and my husband, and I promise that my 14 year old has no interest in crawling back in bed with us, lol. For us, some of our children were just ready to start sleeping in their own beds, for one in particular, we had to transition her, as her baby brother was a preemie, and we did not want them in the same bed together for obvious safety reasons. For her, we used a small fold out couch that we purchased at Pier One, it is quite lovely, and similar to the cheap kids foam couches, only more sturdy has a lightweight frame to the body, etc. If you can find one similar, I can't recommend it enough, because with transitioning, or sick kids, or we can easily move it to another room for friend sleepovers, etc. (This is more appropriate for a toddler obviously, than an infant, so it just depends on when you plan to move her out). After our little ones were comfortable alone there, we just started making it exciting to sleep in their room, by letting them pick out bedding etc.
But I wouldn't worry about rushing it, with her only being 8 months, unless that is just not right for your family.
Steph
Hello!
We are in the same boat - DS is 9 months/7 corrected. He too has co-slept with us since he came home from the NICU. He came home at the end of November, in December was re-hospitalized for a bad reflux attack. From December to March, he slept on my chest since he had random choking attacks and that was the only way we all got some sleep. Now, he sleeps in the bed with us, closer to me since he still nurses (a lot) at night. We have no plans on transitioning him until he is no longer nursing, so by January he should be in his own crib. Our other issue is that he is a terrible sleeper – we’re lucky to get a total of 10 hours per day - total – with no good durations at one time – an hour here, an hour there. Needless to say, we’re exhausted… My best advice is do what makes you comfortable – you won’t get any sleep if you have him in his own crib and you’re worried. I wish I had some advice for you on how to transition, but we’re not up to that part yet Good luck!
My husband and I are currently addressing this issue with our 29-weeker, who is now 18 months actual and our 4 month old term baby boy. Our oldest co-slept with us until our youngest was born and began doing the same. For safety reasons, I did not want the two babies together as our oldest can thrash around at times. Our routine now is that our oldest falls asleep in our bed after reading stories and settling down. Once asleep, we move him into his own crib that is in our room. If he awakens at night and wants to move back in with us (which happens maybe 2-3 nights per week), we let him if the baby is in his crib. Our youngest seems to want his "space" sleeping, much unlike our eldest----so he's in his crib about 50% of the time. I can often move him over to his crib as needed (when the oldest wants in our bed) without much trouble. Our bedroom definitely looks like a sleeping compound, with two cribs and our bed, but we are VERY happy with this arrangement. As our 18 month old has matured, he's doing much better with sleeping independently. He does so during his naps on a daily basis. He's now to the point that when he's tired, he'll climb up on our laps to cuddle to sleep or go to his pillow and put himself to sleep. I'm a firm believer that babies will do things at their own pace and shouldn't be rushed. Like previous responders, I would suggest first transitioning to a crib in your room and then to their own room. I'm not sure when we'll take that second step ourselves....
Good luck!
We did cosleeping until my son was about 9 months/7 adjusted. At that point he was outgrowing his bassinet (the type that attached to the bed), so we needed to move him into his crib. I hated not having him near me it was difficult but I knew he would sleep better in his crib. He did well the transition. I would nurse him and he would fall asleep while nursing and would be fine once I put him down. I would always nurse in the same chair each night in his room with one small light on. He is 18 months now, and our rountine is nursing, brush teeth, bath and sleep sac. He does great! On occasion when he is having a bad night, we put him in are bed and he does well with going back into his crib afterwards.
Well I have always put my lil one in her crib. I was worried what if I roll over on her.. She was all fine . Now at 8 months adjusted she hates to sleep there and cries in the middle of the night. She sleeps very well with us. she sleeps all through the night. This is turning the otherway round. I really dont know when we can put her back to the crib. I am gonna wait for some more time but then I was very cautious initially but now I am used to sleeping with her .
I am having the same issue with my daughter who was a 32 weeker and is not 18 months. She was in the NICU for a month and came home on a monitor and I kept her in my room in the basinette. Now she sleeps right in my bed with me and either my husband or I sleep in the spare room. She napes during the day in her crib and I have no problems but in the evening when it is time for bed she goes to my room to my bed and falls asleep. Some nights she sleeps like a champ and some nights she wakes up. My husband and I are thinking about turning her crib into a toddler bed and see if she will sleep there. I love having her in my bed but it would also be nice to sleep with my husband again. Everyone tells me I am wrong to have her sleep with me but it worked for us and we were all able to get some sleep.
My son (6m actual, 2.5 m adjusted) usually ends up back in my bed, but I try to start him off in his crib, which is in our room. I listen really well to the noises he makes before I "rescue" him from his crib. Young babies have a lot of REM sleep and this means a lot of waking periods. If he's just doing a little whining or grunting, I won't bother him. If he goes into actual crying, I pick him up, change him, nurse him and let him sleep in my bed. My oldest did the same thing and slept in our bed a lot when he was little. We enjoyed singing ourselves to sleep, making shadow puppets, etc. Now my oldest is a well adjusted, happy, 17 yr old honor student. I think you do what works best for you. If your baby is happy, you'll be happier and more relaxed, which will benefit the baby even more.
My daughter slept in our bed from the day she came home from the nicu. Around 14 months, I decided to buy a twin mattress and put it next to our bed on the floor. She would start out sleeping by herself and then I usually would end up on the twin mattress with her. After a crib recall a few months back, we decided to buy a twin bed for her... she loves it and when it's ready for "night night" she heads off to her bedroom. I still lay down with her to start, usually get up for awhile until I need to go back in. Yes, I do sleep in her room (we're still nursing @20mos.) but it is a big improvment just to have her sleep on her own for awhile. I have to admit - some of my favorite moments have happened while sleeping with my daughter. One that comes to mind, is when she rolls over, snuggles up nice and close and puts her arm around my neck...
Well, you all have certainly made me feel a lot better. DH and I have both loved having Marley in our bed at night. I like being close enough to hear his little breath sounds all night, and to be able to reach over and touch him whenever I want. Then there's the breastfeeding, of course. It's so nice not having to get up at night, plus he seems to sleep much better, too (usually falls asleep right after). Until recently.
I think that's why I've been questioning the cosleeping. I'm not sure what's going on, but after months of sleeping through the night (7-9 hour stretches) he's been waking up and wanting to nurse 2 or sometimes 3 times a night.
I know there's a lot going on right now. Recently started solids, possible teething, a growth spurt. I don't know if he wants to nurse cause I'm right there or he would be waking up anyway. I've tried "testing it out" and putting him in his crib (which is in our room) to sleep, but he wakes up after just 15 min or won't fall asleep at all. It just seems like more work for me than having him in our bed.
My other concern is that he's moving so much now. I don't like having him in our bed without us cause he rolls, but he goes to sleep before we do. I tried starting him out in the crib, but he doesn't like it (see above) and I don't know if it's worth it to push it or not.
Do your cosleeping babies sleep through the night? How long do you continue on-demand feeding? Do you put them to bed without you? What about naps?
Thanks for all your responses. DH and I don't get a lot of support for this choice. I actually feel embarrassed to tell people because I know the reaction is usually "tsk tsk" - like I'm doing something really wrong!
Hi Marleysmom -
We co=slept with baby until 8 months (actual) and she is now nearly 11. I agree - much easier to breast feed and I could actually get some sleep. Unfortunately, my baby has never slept more than 4 hours at a time. Still that way. But, I decided to stop the co-sleeping when baby started waking 6/7 times a night wanting to feed. I was exhausted. For a month of that behavior, i believe she needed the milk - she had a growth spurt. But after that, seems to me that feeding became habit (like a pacifier) rather than her being hungry. So, moved her into crib in our room first where she would wake up, cry, I would feed her, she would fall asleep, wake up, cry, feed, but this was only 3 or 4 times a night.
She would also wake up when I put her down after feeding at night but that, thankfully has improved. I added the boppy pillow. I hadn't used one before the time we started her sleeping in the crib. Decided to try it as I couldn't find a good sitting position to feed ehr as she got longer. Anyway, I let her sleep on it. That seemed to do the trick. I think the thing is the pressure??
Baby got used to sleeping with us leaning against her. With the boppy pillow - she sleeps on her side (she has always been a side sleeper), uses the bobby as a pillow with the length of it along her back. We tested some different things and it seems to be the pressure (we rolled up blankets and stuck them along her back - same thing - it works). She flails around if there is nothing near her. That has helped. I know there are do -es and don'ts about having stuff in the crib - but by this age with firm stuff like the boppy - i don't worry. Maybe give it a try? She falls asleep at the breast (will deal with that habit later - maybe) on the boppy and I stick the whole thing - baby on boppy - into the crib.
She occasionally ends up in bed with us which is fine and the break from co-sleeping helped with the constant feeding. She still wakes up 2-3 times a night though.
It is really only in America, it seems, that people freak out about co-sleeping - millions and millions of families in the world co-sleep. I live in central asia. everyone co-sleeps. Our pediatrician here actually gave us the "tsk tsk" for moving baby out of our bed before a year!
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