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Are there others?

FrancescaHolly
2 Recommendations

Is there anyone else here that lost their precious preemie? Our daughter passed away Sunday, and I desperately need to speak to someone who's been through this.

Explore topics in this discussion:

Hypertension Pain Depression Pulmonary hypertension

22 replies

TaevensNana

My daughter had 3 miscarriages and the last one was devastating. I pray that God sends the right person to you to speak to. I'm confidant that he will. God bless you and see you through this time.

M-and-D-Mommy

I just wanted to tell you that I am so sorry for your loss. I read your blog and your angel was beautiful!! I am so glad that you guys were able to tell that precious baby girl goodbye in such a wonderful way. We have had our issues/losses etc, but I have not been in your exact shoes. There are people here that have been there EXACTLY...they know what you are dealing with. Within a couple days they will reply. You are not alone! Please don't feel that way. And if you need to "talk" I am also here. Just let me know. I will be happy to just "listen":) I will be praying for you and your family during this difficult time!!!

Mamato4

I know there are several families like M-and-D-Mommy said that have been through what you have and hopefully they'll see this post and respond. I personally wanted to let you know that my heart goes out to you and I'll be praying for you and your family. If you need a listening ear Im here.

Yolonda

I just recently lost my daughter in September, she was an ex 23weeker that was 3 years old. She died of pulmonary hypertension. I really do not have the words for you as I am new in the journey myself, however I would like to tell you about another site I am member of that is hosted through the march of dimes. Its called shareyourstory.org and there is entire board called families who have lost a baby. There are so many women there going through this and although I dont post much there, just lurking has helped somewhat.

I am so sorry for your loss.

Yolonda

Suppe

I lost 2 preemies. My first baby was still born and my second baby lived for a few hours before he passed away. I really know what you are going through. The doctors told me it was for the best. If they had lived they would have suffered. I try to believe that. That makes it a bit easier.

cjp0713

I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter. Both of our children were born very early...our daughter was born 10 years ago at just 24 weeks and was with us a very short time. I, too, found your blog and was very touched by your daughter and the way you and your family were able to say goodbye. You and your family will be in my prayers. I'm around if you'd like to talk.

cj

emorton91

I am so sorry for your loss. I wish I could give you words of encourgagement.

KellarsMommy06

I lost my 1st ds Cameron at 20 wks so though our situations were different I can say that I think I know the pain you are feeling. I am very sorry for your loss and I'm sure you know there are no words that can make this any more bearable, but do know that there are many that are thinking of you and your family. I know for me it seemed like I would never breathe again when my Cameron passed away in my arms, I allowed myself to sink into a depression that I often wondered if I would ever pull myself out of, it was hard but I can now say that it does get easier, not that I don't miss my son terribly b/c I do, I think about him and what he would have been constantly but when they say that time heals the pain I found it to be true, when I lost my son I lost a piece of me, a piece of life that I honestly don't know if I will ever recover.
www.kellarreid.com

peepsqueaksmom

I am very sorry for your loss. I can not imagine how tough it is right before Christmas. We lost our son, Devin in April so we had 8mos to prepare for this holiday season. It has been hard, everyday is some sort of struggle. What helped me was being by myself after my husband went back to work. I would look on line for poems, songs, personal stories of loss and just cry, cuss, and throw things. I was in a dark, miserable, angry hole but it helped. Grieve your way, there is no right/wrong way and when you are by yourself you don't have to be strong for anyone. It is tough when people call to see how you're doing because I felt the need to not sound so sad/angry and you can tell they don't want to call anyway. The calls will stop anyway, 'good friends' that you have right now that you think will help you because maybe they have lost a child or even lifelong friends that you know will always be there- will disappear. New, better friends will take their place. Friends that will ask questions/acknowledge your loss, your child, your strength, your parental decisions will be most comforting. Just take it one day, sometimes one hour or breathe at at time. There have been numerous times I have thought of ending my life but I didn't only because I knew what it felt like to lose a child and I did not want my mom (and other family) to experience the same unbearable hurt. And I am now really glad I did not even though it is still so hard at times. You would think with all the people that have lost children that there is some answer to your questions, there may or may not be. I will send a message with my number and I will try to help or at least listen to whatever you need to say.

jaredkate

I have a friend who lost her 24-weeker at Christmastime, as well. She has a book she wrote about the experience--Surrounded by Angels. I would be happy to email her and ask her to email you--she is a wonderful resource and does spends a great deal of time ministering to others in her same situation. Please private message me if you would like me to put you two in touch.

I'm grieving for you--I read your blog and I am so sorry for your loss. Your daughter is/was a beautiful angel.

USAFwife

I cannot express how sorry I am to hear of your loss, I haven't lost a child, but I know what it is to grieve. I hope god can guide you through the pain, and sorrow you are feeling. Just know that you little girl knows you loved her, and is smiling down at you as your own personal guardian angel. I will prey for you and your family. Please take care, and try to remember you little angel is watching over you.

Flaws_N_All

I lost my preemie daughter 2 weeks after she was born ,(30 weeker, Twin A, 2 pounds 12 oz)She contracted NEC.It was the most unreal thing to me.Never would I thought that one day my child would die before me. Something so precious and innocent. Something that didn't have a chance at life. These are the things that I have felt during my grievement period. I am still grieving and my twins were born october 3, 2007. I can't say how long this could take for u to get over the hurt because I am still going through it. All I have to say is that she is not suffering no more. God bless you and your family.

nowlin346

my first was a 32 weeker, he died of SIDS at 6 weeks old.

majak

i'm so sorry for your loss ,my prayers r with you

MaddensMom

I wish I could tell you that there are no others..but I am one. I am a grieving mom of an amazing son. Madden was born on 6/21/08 and passed away in my husbands arms on 8/14/08. He was born at 26 weeks getsation. He was simply born too soon. I got involved in a support group almost immediatly. It has helped me so much to be around other women that can share my pain. As inspire did too. I found a friend who went through the same thing I did (Pprom) and continued on to have a child to full term. it gives me hope. I can tell you that whatever you are feeling...its normal. I felt 100% alone, even though my husband was sitting right next to me. I was angry that he was playing video games while I read books on how to grieve the loss of a child. We were and will never be in the same place. And I just have to be OK with that and understand that men grieve differently. Not better or worse, just different. This is your time to be selfish, if you need space, take it. If you need to cry..do it. As I cried to my therapist (I see one of them too) she reminder me that Madden was part of my life, he wasn't my whole life and that I will need to simply take one minute at a time and at my own pace. I wish you strength and love. If you ever need anything..please know from one grieving mom to another..I am here.

M-and-D-Mommy

FrancescaHolly,
I just wanted to write in again and let you know I was thinking of you today. I will continue to pray for you and yours for a long time to come:)

ramsmummy

hi
sorry for u r loss.i konw how u feel.i also lost my son ram 24 weeks.he was there in nicu for 10 days.he was born to early cause i have incompetent cervix.its 7months but not a single day passes without crying for him.i wnat to tell my story and give encouragement to u .ur not alone.
i started ttc 2004 but i didnt get pregnnet,2005 went for fertility clinic.doc did laproscopy2006nov and said fibroid not a issue and started iui treatment.4 iuis no result.then again mri for fibroid and its grown bigger.so he told we must get rid of it before moving to ivf.in 2007 aug he did myomectomyand removed it.then in dac 2007 i diid ivf and wow iam pregnent.everything is going smooth.at 24 weeks my water bag came down so emergency classical csection and took out my son.he was perfect only thing he came early.i dont know after 3 years of ttc.dealing with all medication and 3 surgeries iam still with empty hands.i cant even try sooner because of myclassical cesction.i cant even get pregnnet even normally.agian ihave to take ivf root.there r many quetions going on in my mind.will ivf work?
if it works ,will i able to carry baby full term?
i dnt know how to deal with all this ,i wnat to hold mt son badlybut i cant..
thanks
mommy 2 ram

Avagrandma

Although I am grandma I feel your pain. We lost twin girls in May, 2006 and I still miss them. They lived for one week. My DIL also had ivf and so it was very hard for her. The girls were perfect, just too early. I have taken the route of not forgetting them, I do not hide them, I have their pictures out and I include their names with my other grandchildren, they have a ornament on the Christmas tree, I also made a lovely scrapbook for mom. In my case, remembering, yes and sometimes crying, eases the pain that will never go away. I will pray for you and your family that you find peace. By the way, my DIL just gave birth to another preemie, but this time it was not 24 weeks it was 31.

lalacakes

Yes, we lost our son, Samuel, when he was two days old. Samuel was Jacob's identical twin. PLEASE feel free to email me at elise4@comcast.net. I also have the complete story of our journey on our homepage. It has been just over 16 months and in many ways it seems like a lifetime ago but in other ways it feels like it just happened yesterday. I want to help you in any way I can...this is a hard thing to go through alone, or without someone who has been through it before you. I am praying for you!!!

Elise

FrancescaHolly

Thank you very much for sharing your story with me. Your son, Madden, is absolutely gorgeous. Did you join an online support group or a local one?

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