Mother's Day

Well today is mother’s day. It hasn’t gone quite has planned. Things are quite hectic around here, with our apartment looking like a maze with boxes everywhere. I’m really glad this day exists. I never used to know how special this day was until I became a mom. My baby son Joshua is doing good. Last night he said “mama” to me and today he’s been holding on to me real tight. So I think he knows what today means. But I’m also feeling some sadness because I’m wishing my other son Devon were here to celebrate Mother’s Day with me. Granted it’s been two years since he’s died but it still hurts. Earlier today I was thinking of how nice it would be to have him walking up to me while I had Joshua next to me and have him say “Happy Mother’s Day Mommy” to me. But I know that’s not going to happen for it just wasn’t god’s will. And I know I’m blessed to have Joshua who is so beautiful to me. I love him with all my heart, my soul, my entire being. I just love to hold him on my shoulder and watch him play with his toys. Watching him being happy makes me happy. I know I’m not the only mother out there who’s lost a child but been fortunate enough to have another one. And I know things are going to be okay even with all this craziness going on. I just really needed to get my thoughts out onto paper that’s all. And now I feel better.