Why do so many only see "me thinking of myself?" when my son is in such a terrible situation?
Yes, he is. I'll grant that wholeheartedly. Since the day, June 27, 2007, he was injured and I knelt next to him with my hand on his back, refusing to let anyone move him until the medical personnel arrived I have thrown everything I am into helping him. Into getting him what he needs. Into being there for him. Into being more than just a mom (at least moms as most people see them).
I have prayed for him and with him.
God has walked with us and brought us through everything thus far. He will continue to be our rock and our strength.
I am human, though, and I am tired. Now, it is time for me to rest. And, right now I'm not feeling well, which is probably the biggest reason I wrote the original journal entry.
So, please, those of you who think I'm being selfish because I need to rest, because I need to have time a way from my son and the whole situation just to recharge my own batteries. Please, at least try to recognize that caregivers need supports too. They need an outlet for their frustrations, wants and needs.
Just because your child is hurt, does not mean that nothing else in life matters. In fact, I'd say just the opposite, a balance has to be found and who better to give what no one else can...those that have been there, those that have made it through these times of pain and suffering.
Because I can tell you I've been grieving for months for what my son has lost and I've been searching through those same months to find him some modicum of normalcy to carry him through. Now, I have to find mine.
Debby, Troy's mom