hi,
im 37 and ive been paralysed waist down since march of 07 that bein said it has been almost three years since my injury and i am finding the hardest part about this whole situation is accepting the fact that i may never have another relationship with a beautiful woman. i think im a nice lookin guy im not super fit but im in shape as much as most my age.i love life i am optimistic and accepting of others i live everyday to the fullest i have empathy for others,i have lottsa friends i enjoy music ,fishing,swimming,being a father,oh also i have two great kids 18 and 7 they are my life and have givin me reason to fight and move ahead and try to get up an outta this wheel chair they are my insperation.i currently am not working but im sure i will go back and do somthing atleast part time..i own my own house it is rite on a beautiful 100 acre lake the views from the rooms are spectacular ,i love to be out on the boat fishing or jus takn in all the sites.but this is a lonely exsistence i sit here in this awsome house with litl to no financial burden i have more free time than most people and i am all alone. i wish there were a real web site for disabled people to meet and date from, ive hearsd theres ten times more men in chairs than women so the odds are against us guys there to i guess,,i beleive there has to be someone for everyone i bet there is a gorgeous lady in a wheel chair somewhere for me or any lady that can see past that chair...i am so much more than a chair i have intellect,and a big caring heart...if anyone knows of an organazation or club to help i do appreciate the reply's....thnxs jerr....
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why wont most women date men in chairs?
- By jerry2
- Posted September 28, 2009 at 11:58 am · 12 replies
- In Living your life
- Shared with the public
12 replies
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- Newest first
- By papito1
- Posted September 28, 2009 at 4:46 pm
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Hey Jerry,
i had been paralyze since 6/3/07 t7 and there is woman willing to date or even be with a guy in a chair, im the total oppisite of you, if i had, honestly, a mobile home on acre wheelchair accessible as well as a car that i dont have to be broke with my only income of 700 dolars from social security, i would probably have a woman in my life right now. Like you I have a good heart and I also have the LORD in my life so, it gives me extra credit when it comes to getting to know woman. I speak to them with honesty and trust worthy sensitive words about myself and how i would be a great man to a woman. A lot woman is out there and just want a real man and willing to accept a man in a chair. Its not easy but with the right way of expressing yourself is a possibility. There is a website whispers4u.com a disable site, im in a christian website loveandseek.com. Its hard to find a perfect one but we are not ourselves but there are good woman i met with a kid or two single and willing if i had the ability to have the two things i said, a car and a home, I be ok! Honest a woman is more like my 3rd goal and believe me i only wish i had the means to make it my next priority but i got to live life on life terms. Save and keep the faith for a blessing. Jerry keep the faith and you can find a good woman out there. GOD BLESS and hope you prosper in that area. I pray for you after this in hope and faith that you be bless with what you are looking for.
Sammy
- By cworwa
- Posted September 29, 2009 at 9:57 am
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I feel as if women look at me and think of me as a freak or something like that.
- By horsestail
- Posted September 29, 2009 at 8:34 pm
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Jerry,
Some people are blind and cannot see beyond the cover. This includes men and women. There are however; people who don't judge a book by the cover. My aunt was 16 when she ended up in a wheelchair and it didn't stop her from finding her soulmate. They celebrate their 51st anniversary in January. She was in her chair for 60 years until her passing this May with her partner was at her side. On another group a gal's husband left her after her injury, but she found her soulmate and has celebrated their 5th anniversary already.
Don't give up. I wish I could tell you where to find your soul mate, but I can't. Get out and mingle is the best I can say.
cworwa,
You are not a freak and don't let anyone make you believe you are. Our society is somewhat why you feel the way you do. People fear the unknown and when this happens they avoid it. I did some research on this subject when I was writing a paper, Barriers to Reclaiming Sexuality after SCI. One guy said he put his disability out there instead of ignoring it. This broke the ice and gets rid of the fear. I have my paper if you are interested in reading it. Just let me know and I will email it to you.
Don't give up! Your soulmate is out there.
- By greensmile
- Posted September 30, 2009 at 4:44 am
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hi :)
it's about time people stopped looking at the external and started looking at the internal meaning the personality,the soul of the person,and inner beauty and radiance.the world would be soooo much nicer.like i always say "don't look at the chair,the vent ect.ect. look at me.i amm the person and my gear does not define me.
never ever give up hope,keep the faith,and keep smiling :) " :) :) :)
- By cworwa
- Posted September 30, 2009 at 9:45 am
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Even when I try to do things that other people do, they kind of look at me like "Why is he here?" One time I went to a bar with a friend and they had karaoke. I went up to sing and I fun of me a the bartender stopped serving them and told them that I may not sound the best, but I'm always on key.
- By Stacey67
- Posted September 30, 2009 at 12:03 pm
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Hello, this doesn't happen to just you men, I recieved my SCI a little over 3 years ago, and have been trying to fight my way back since day 1. And men treat me the same as you all get treated, even the ones I have known my entire life act different now. I was a very independent single mom of 3 kids, 2 are in college now, the 3rd is 14 and lives with me part time. I had everything going right in my life at the time of my wreck also, I had a great job, a nice house and car and was able to give my kids most everything they wanted and needed, in the blink of any eye it was all taken away, by a drunk driver. Now I have to live in an apartment I can't get out side of with out help, and it is gov't housing, which is not very safe to live in at all. (my neighbors were arrested last week for having a meth lab in their apt.) I have met very few men over the last 3 years, but after a month or two they always decide that being with someone that cannot walk very well or that is in a wheelchair is just too much to deal with. Most of my old friends don't even come around any more. They all acted like they cared so much at first, now they are all just memories. It can all get very depressing, especially being alone all the time, and not being able to drive. All I have is my phone and computer to keep my self in touch with the outside world now, along with prayer, I get the most comfort from praying, then I know someone who cares is listening. One day, after lots of hard work and God willing, I will be able to walk on my own again. I am still trying to learn and gain strength from walking with leg braces, which are very heavy still and not easy to use. I still have set backs due to the internal injuries I recieved from the wreck. I am an L-1 incomplete, fused at T-11& 12, and at L-2&3, I lost my spleen, damaged my liver, lost my left kidney, and part of my pancreas! If any one of you would like to talk more, or need a friend, please feel free to send me a message. At least we all have something in common to start with!
Take care,
God Bless all of us,
Stacey
- By jerry2
- Posted September 30, 2009 at 1:23 pm
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hi stacey its nice to meet you! i would like to talk more with you it seems we have alot in common alreadi..i will send you a friend request and ill write back as soon as you reply...i dont think i can write you till u accept..ok hope to talk soon! jerr...
- By Toni2
- Posted October 1, 2009 at 9:49 am
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Hi Jerry, sounds like you have a real lot to offer some lucky lady. I agree with the reply that did research, my stepson is t8-t9 and I wish the girls would leave him alone but he is very handsome and over flowing with personality and humor. He does throw his disability out there in a joking way to break the ice with anyone and everyone but he has confidence that he is who he is as a person and the chair is only a part of that person. You need to get out there, try some volunteering part time, there is still plenty you can do for others and maybe you'll meet someone there that is caring, what is more attractive than a man that cares about others and that will also show people what you are capable of, some people just don't get what you can do unless you show them and if you are waist down you can do a lot, Dev does more than his ablied bodied friends. Also having SCI in our lives makes you appreciate the little things that most don't enjoy. So go out and enjoy and some lucky lady will be very happy. Good luck
- By para02
- Posted October 7, 2009 at 4:56 pm
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Stacey is right, I was paralyzed when I was 18 (7 years ago) and guys I new in school and my entire life treat me diffrent. They are unsure of what to say incase it may hurt me. I don't mind what they say, I am the same person I was 7 years ago. Lifes to short to worry about the small things. As far people looking at me when I go out, it doesn't bother me. I know they are just curious and don't know how to ask the question "why/how did you get injured?" I'm sure over time you will be a great women if you haven't already. Good luck
- By JennDianne
- Posted October 10, 2009 at 7:03 am
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I allways have liked guys in chairs but what do u say when u pass. Hi i think you hot can i have your number? Had I had more guys around me socialy in chairs I am very sure I would have got around to saying just that.
I know you will find someone! Be sure to post when you do (8
- By cworwa
- Posted October 10, 2009 at 9:56 am
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It would be shocking to me if someone thought that I was hot.
- By graybeard
- Posted October 10, 2009 at 12:43 pm
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Dudes, and Dudettes....c'mon ya'll, let's not get the funk thinking about "what if"... I thought I was toast when first hurt also. Saw lots of break ups in hospital. However, I kept a positive outlook, and a very good friend came my way. Now, though it didnt work out, it gave me all the confidence to keep looking, and keep living! And that is important, to keep living. Dont stare out the window "wishing" you were normal, get outside and MAKE people wonder wha the hell you're up to...that way they hafta come up to you and ask what you're doing. A real conversation starter, and a real icebreaker as well. Smile, be energetic, and dont blame your situation for being alone. Make it work for you, draw people to you, not away from you. Good healthy life, and ability to find any kind of work, or something to make you get up in the morning, energizes the soul and mind. Good luck!
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