How do you all deal with life? Have you accepted your imparments and try to improve upon them? Or do you just complain? "My life will never be the same. I know I can't go back. I just reflect on the past and adapt.
We must try to blend, so people won't recognise our disability.
My question is how do we do that?
Your disabilty is now a part of who you are - How you decide to let people see you as, positive or negative, is up to you. I think we all have it in us to adapt and accept whom we have become and move forward with the same attitude we had prior to our disabilties. Life is what you make of it, so live for today because there may not be a tomorrow. I also think its very healthy to reflect on the past. Memories are great motivators for creating new memories. Another way of dealing with this life is logging onto this website and realizing your not alone.
I've been disabled my entire life and sometimes it is hard for people to see me like that and I have to agree with Ward, how you want people to see you is totally up to you. Sure, we all get stared at alot because of the disability we have, but it shouldn't reflect on the way we feel about ourselves as people. If you're like me and have been disabled all your life, you learn to shrug it off and deal with the fact that people are gonna stare at you, no matter who you are or where you're from.
I totally agree with you. We need to live our lives and make people see beyond the disability. I had my closed head injury when I was almost ten. I think I found where I fit in. It's with my friends
Goldy: How do you deal with your life?
Me: Good question. I am not so sure there is a short precise answer to that. Some times I don’t actually deal with life, life deals with me. Those times are extremely difficult but luckily, these days, they are also few and far between. I have come to learn that life has seasons. So whenever I am going through a rough patch, as we all do, I know it will have to end sooner or later. Knowing that helps me cope… a little prayer doesn’t hurt either. Am I rambling?
Goldy: [Nods her head]
Me: Sorry. I have been known to do so. Next time I start to ramble you have my permission to just cut in with another question, okay? If I was to answer your question directly, I would say that mostly I deal with things one day at a time. It’s so cliché I know but after my injury I found that life is easier to deal with if I break each day up into predefined manageable segments, and allocate each respective segment with a mental “things to do” list. These mental schedules are quite fluid. If any thing comes up I simply adapt my programme accordingly. Focussing on the process of getting through each day distracts me from other things and the distraction is what’s important and not the schedules necessarily. I’m not saying I look at every single day just as a “programmed” struggle. There are still many things to look forward to and I remind myself of this and try to plan my days around doing these things. For example, my baby nephew comes around at least twice a week for a “play date.” Being on uncle duty is my favourite things nowadays. It’s something to get up in the mornings for. Another example is…
Goldy: Have you accepted your impairments and try to improve upon them?
Or do you just complain?
Me: umm… yes I have. As for trying “to improve upon them?” Not the physical impairments. I try to eat healthy, exercise and in general, look after my body well, but this is more a maintenance thing. It has nothing to do with improving upon my impairments. There came a time when I had to get real and accept that things weren’t ever going to get any better doing the same old methods. That will take something radical… like a cure. Increasing my impaired independence with the impaired physical “ability” that I did get back, still have and work hard to maintain is something I will continue to work on for as long as I can. I am still discovering ways to do things with minimal help or by my self 11 years on. To the second part of your question, yes I do complain but not to the people around me. People don’t like hanging around moaners and I love company. My way of complaining, is to journal my angry thoughts or write scary poetry that no one ever gets to see because it’s so psycho-mad… it’s one way to vent and it really does calm me down. The other option is I often try to look for “the funny” in whatever it is that’s bothering me at the moment. Irony is often where “the funny” hides. Take the time the wicked puppet master lower back spasm made me do an accidental wheelie and my head ended up hitting the floor like a coco-nut. It hurt like hell, but by the time the help I needed to scoop me up off the floor and back into my chair arrived, I was laying there laughing like a loon. You see I had always wished I could do wheelies like my para friends but couldn’t… until that one time. You probably don’t get it… never mind.
Goldy: My life will never be the same. I know I can’t go back. I just reflect on the past and adapt.
Me: And you’re one smart cookie for figuring all that out by yourself believe me. It took me a while but I also realised that I had to “adapt” my life to my disability and not “adopt” my disability and make it my life. You see what I mean?
Goldy: We must try to blend, so people won’t recognise our disability. My question is how do we do that?
Me: Not exactly. I personally try not to dwell in the past. My imagination misbehaves too much to be let loose in the past. Nonetheless, I find myself there sometimes. As for trying to blend in… well I can’t blend in, in a “hide or disguise my disability” kind of way. My disability sticks out like a sore thumb because of my wheelchair. But like I said, my disability is only part of who I am. It is not the entirety of my essence even if it’s now a major part of my physical existence. I have always been sort of a chatter-box so extroverted personality is more often a bigger distraction than my wheelchair once I get going. I’m okay with people recognising my disability now, but it’s up to me to show that disability is not all of who I am I also still have opinions and am not afraid to express them, a sense of humour, etcetera, etcetera
I know the best thing is to reflect on life and adapt. One of my friends passed recently. It made me realize you have to enjoy life while you are alive!
You sound like you have a great attitude. I journal too about every day.
Sorry for your loss. Life hey… ?
You definitely got to try and live it to the fullest. We often make the mistake of overestimating how long we’ve got to live and pass on doing things to tomorrow. It’s good to hear that you make a conscious effort to enjoy life.
“Attitude determines altitude”-unknown
I journal some, but then I often backslide and go for days, or even weeks, without making an entry. Journaling is good. It’s allows for complete self honesty and it lets you take an objective third party look at your own thoughts later.
Have a good one. :)
I believe that is very true. I have filled lots of journals.
I'm trying to live life and not to worry life away.
Add to the discussion