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Incomplete SCI - Is sex possible?

jennypooh
3 Recommendations

Hi there. My boyfriend was in a car accident two weeks ago today. He fractured his spine between the 6th and 7th vertebrae. He has movement in his arms. For the first week he had no feeling in his chest down. He has regained feeling throughout his entire body now and he has reflexes in his toes and legs when he feet are touched a certain way. He is able to sense a bowel movement and can complete the job. Has anyone been in a similar situation and were you able to recover any movement? The dr's say it is unlikely he will walk again, but he is very determined and can't wait to get to the rehabilitation center. However, if he remains paralysed, does anyone know if he will be able to have sex and orgasm? Any info would be greatly appreciated!

Explore topics in this discussion:

Cancer Surgery Counseling Spinal cord injuries Cialis Stroke Gastroparesis Viagra Testicular cancer Pain Heart attack Acupuncture Paralysis

28 replies

LeAnn1

If the two of your communicate your needs you will have no trouble enjoying each other sexually. My son was injured 2 years ago. He is now been married for over 5 years to his wife and they are figuring it all out. I don't ask alot and he doesn't tell, but I know they are talking of trying to start a family. Talk to your doctor and tell him your concerns and just love each other. There are a lot worse things than paralysis and sex is over-rated if you don't have real love and good friendship to start with. Most important to to talk and be honest and kind.

MARTY_T_67

1st of all its to soon to know if he'll never walk again. many of us here were told that and are on our feet. i was told by 5 diff. dr's. i had a 5% chance of arm and hand movement but will never walk.4 months in rehab i was discharged with a walker. i use a cane when i go out but i really have to concentrate on my balance. i have some feeling throught my body but mostly a tingling sensation like things want to wake up.i'm going on 4yrs dec. with this.
as for the sex, i don't have much feeling in that area but when my girlfriend is ready, i'm ready :) it's harder to orgasm not having those sexual stimulations but it happens. true love does miracles!
from what u've said of his condition only 2 weeks out,i think u'll be fine:)

jennypooh

Thanks for the hope! I know that it is still early, but the waiting is so hard! I love him so much, and will be with him no matter what, I just want him to be as happy as possible~and I know sex would make him happy. It was a very important part of our relationship and I still want that intamicy.

mariana

hi!
just be patient, give you both the time that you need cause things will be different... but just go for it and enjoy!!!

let us know!! hehe! ;)
take care
m

horsestail

Jenny,
It is very early in your boyfriend's recovery and it takes time for the body to recover, but it does sound like he is doing pretty good.
Many SCI people have defied the odds and can walk again, so you never know.
As for the sexual issue you may find the University of Alabama at Birmingham site helpful. http://www.spinalcord.uab.edu/show.asp?durki=97417 they have 11 secondary issue videos that you can watch for free or order the set. It is like sitting in the classroom and one is on Sexuality and sexual function. I think you will find it very help full.
I wish both of you the best and he is lucky to have you to help him with these new challenges.
Horsestail

graybeard

First things first.......HELL YEAH its possible!! Gotta get healed enough to where romper room fun isnt uncomfy for him. This can take a few months. And dont expect to pop the cork first time yahooing....again, it can take some time. Be patient...and dont place rocket shots as the goal. Make it fun, caring, and relaxing. There are items out there ya'll can use if he needs to have help with his orgasim. Time will tell if he will need that. Best wishes to you both, and keep life positive, it goes a long way towards healing.....

GRCJ7

HI.

YES, SEX IS POSSIBLE, YOUR BOYFRIEND MUST NEED THE HELP OF CIALIS OR VIAGRA....

BUT I THINK THAT THE MOST IMPOTANT THING IS THAT HE DO NOT START FEELING PAIN.

HE CAN START RECOVERING FUNCTIONS, BUT IT IS A SLOW PROCESS. IF HE DON´T RECOVERS AT ALL YOU MUST WAIT TWO YEARS AT LEAST TO KNOW THE PHYSICAL CONDITIONS,

GOOD LUUCK.

HBRW121

I was a C4/C5 incomplete spinal cord injury patient, and married. As I put it in delicate terms the postman woud show up but he would not deliver mail. However, 18 months post injury mail started to show up . .however, his delivery record is not as reliable as pre-injury. Do not give up and realize it may take time.

GRCJ7

FEEL FREE TO ASK YOUR DOCTORS ABOUT I HAVE TOLD YOU.

BEST WISHES.

danzboy

Hi there , i had a spinal cord injury 1982 incomplete c6c7 I had no feeling for a long time, but finally regained bowel and urinary control, could ambulate after 6 mnths. its good he is getting control back this early, but not everyone is a kevin everit.Its a long road so be patient everyone recovers differently. It took a long time before i could ejaculate.also took a long time too ejaculate. You guys should be happy if he can walk again then go from there. I hope it does not sound to mean.Having a sci is a tough injury to have ad be around. Good luck.Dan

CurtisNeeley

I am injured because of an aorta tear or the surgery to repair it. I do not feel anything below my chest normally. With Viagra and stimulation I can get erect. It feels nice for about 4 hours. My spouse enjoyed it over and over. She could suck-start a Harley, but could not cause an orgasm in me. I suppose that bothers women? I do not mind. My spouse quit trying to be intimate about 4 years ago. We still love each other, but it is no longer romantic. Sex was very important to us. Now she tells me my appearance disgusts her. If your BF spurts semen or doesn't, he can still orgasm. He can relocate his erotic areas. Will you be there to love him and rub him wherever? Keep your eyes open for autonomic disreflexia. Love is more in your mind, but I feel an intimate touch is almost required?

Disgusting me, NUDE
Not vulgar. Same shoot as my profile photo.
My profile photo is a nude too!

chankokweng

hi jennypooh, dont worry so much about the sex activities. concentrate on his rehabilitation. he has a good chance of recovery as from what u described. he should be able to 'perform' when he fully recovers. so just keep ur fingers crossed n the bright 'future' is ahead.
god bless all

jennypooh

Chankokweng - how do you know that he has a good chance of recovery? Have you been through this? I'm not doubting you at all, I just need as much encouragment I can get right now.

Thank you everyone for your responses! They have been very helpful!

FuschiaFan

It is normal to be concerned about sexuality issues this early...most people worry about this in the ICU with an injury like this.

Is he going to a good SCI specialty rehab program?
They will be able to answer some of these questions for the two of you, and should provide education and counseling on this as soon as you are ready to discuss them. I would not depend on the ICU or acute care staff or physician to have a clue in this area. It is a specialty within the rehab providers.

When you say his injury is at "6 and 7" is this cervical (neck) or thoracic (back)? There is a big difference.

jennypooh

It is cervical.

camperben

Stay positive, for yourself and for him. Most doctors told me it would be 4 years from injury until I reached my "final" recovery ability's.

I took that to mean the race was on to see how much rehab I could fit in. I could mentally handle a disability I had no control over. Wondering if I could have done better or gotten any better would have killed me in later years.

If a doctor says to you "you will probably never walk again", what you should hear is " I have no way of knowing if you can heal yourself or not".

Probably is doctor talk for "my best guess in an area that science has not even begun to fully understand"

To a large extent we make our own recovery. No one knows why for example, one guy with testicular cancer in remission barely lives and another rides the tour de france.

Find your limits then go over, around and throught them.

Good Luck
Ben

PS about sex, I was lucky and got most function back with the help of a blue pill. The funny thing is it took a few years to happen and in the mean time I let my fingers do the walking..heheh. Now I got so good at that my wife could care less about the other thing...go figure?

datagrl

Wow, you & your boyfriend are so fortunate that he is regaining innervation at such an early stage. I was injured more than 16 years ago with an incomplete L1 burst fracture & could always achieve orgasm though it was very painful and I stopped trying for this reason. Sex is very important but I agree with others who have posted here that whatever your boyfriend recovers will take time & a lot of work on his part. When I say it will take time I mean YEARS. This is no joke. Please don't believe doctors and physical therapists. They only know what they see or were taught. I had both Drs & PTs tell me that I was only going to go so far and that would be it (the surgeons were hopeful that I would stand. I have been walking with the assist of canes since a few months after leaving rehab). I have defied all odds in my recovery so encourage your boyfriend to go for the gold like an Olympian. And he should NOT get complacent. It's hard work and takes time but he will not be disappointed by the rewards. And don't rely solely on allopathic medicine for recovery. I use acupuncture and massage to help me & with good results. And, at this point, my "rehab" consists of pilates & yoga. Also, I see a PT who specializes in women's health care as I have some residual bowel & bladder issues. I don't know if there are PTs who specialize in men's issues but this would be worth looking into & as early as possible, I would think. Best of luck to you both.

jennypooh

Thank you. I have heard about using accupuncture and I've already looked into it for him!

TraceD

At Loma Linda rehab they gave counseling and showed a video on sex with a spinal cord injury, it was very helpful. Can he urinate on his own? I wasn't able to urinate without cathter for 7 weeks after an incomplete C4, but 1 month after that I am able to get an erection and ejaculate. Viagra makes it easier, but not impossible without. I do get an unusual dysflexia, legs straighten with orgasm, so doing it standing occassionally a problem.

jennypooh

Hi TraceD, are you walking now? He cannot urinate on his own. Before you could urinate on your own, could you sense that you needed to pee or was there no feeling there at all? Thanks so much for your reply!

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