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I'm a 21 year old male who has been paralyzed since a car wreck 12-8-07 from my waist T8 down. I stay severely depressed and hopeless about my future. I cannot imagine living the rest of my life in a wheelchair and sometimes wish I would have died in my car wreck. I want to be happy again. I want to walk again.
Exercise Counseling Spinal cord injuries Fractures Weakness Pain Depression Paralysis Stress
You are still very newly injured. It is normal to wish for the injury to not have occurred, but unfortunately wishing will not make it so.
It is important to work toward support of research to find a cure, but also to get on with your life and find joy again. Keeping yourself healthy with exercise and taking care of yourself will make it more likely you will be a candidate for research studies on humans when they are available.
Are you getting any counseling? Did you get rehab at a decent center? Are you going to school? Working? Active in volunteer activities and your community? Do you go out with friends? Are you exercising and participating in sports? I am sure your family is glad you did not die in the accident. Have you talked to your doctor about your feelings? It is not a weakness to admit depression and seek treatment.
You can also find others on-line that you can talk about your feelings with...here and on other SCI discussion forums. Please keep posting.
I am sorry that you sustained this injury, and please know that it is totally normal to be depressed at this stage of the game. If you weren't I would sort of worry about you :-) There is much to be hopeful about though because you still have a few years to get whatever functional recovery might come, and part of that recovery comes from a good rehab program, preferably at a well known spinal cord injury center, but a lot of it comes from just "getting out there" and doing things and trying to do things. I have been injured a very long time, and while I still have to use a chair, the number of things I have been able to do are quite amazing, including world travel, working, getting a couple of degrees, water sports, and so on. Please keep writing, as there are many people here and on other spinal cord injury support sites who have been where you are, both physically and emotionally, and can offer you a great deal of help on both fronts.
Hello,
I want to tell you that you have a beautiful smile in the picture. My daughter was injured at age 18 and now she is 21. At first she was in a coma for quite some time and not expected to even awaken. She then was told she was a quadraplegic and woke up unable to even scratch her nose or feel below her neck. It has been 3 years and she is able to comb her hair, feed herself and now started taking classes at the 2 year college here. She does get down from time to time, but she says that staying busy has helped her tremendously. She was a very active person before so this has been very traumatizing to her.In the early days, I would write a journal for my daughter as she expressed her fears and frustrations... until she could write them herself.... I am sorry that you are so hurt. Please try your best. I am rooting for you... you are valuable. I wish you peace and strength as you go through your journey. Your friend, Patricia
Dear Blondeyvonne,
Don't let this stop you from living a whole life. It may be different, harder, more complicated now, but what I have learned is that life goes on anyway. It may be difficult to find activities that you are capable of participating in but if you keep looking you will find them.
I tried to ski this past winter. I use to snowboard and even though it was different for me, I loved the challenge and it was fun. You can read my story on the web site, look for ariana sandoval under the students section. www.disabledsportseasternsierra.org
They have a wounded warriors program and you can see how some of our young soldiers also struggle with their injured bodies but strive to live.
Pain will always be a part of your life now. It may not always be physical pain, but emotional pain at times. Even though my Mom is happy to see me alive, I see that she has pain from seeing me having to deal with paralysis but we just have to accept it. Pain lets you know you are alive. Stay busy and try to better yourself. Every little step counts. Your life is just beginning. Never give up hope to walk again...you have to however stay as strong and healthy in order to be ready for any technology that may arise. I am on MediCal which is California's Medicaid. I also have trouble getting help through this insurance. That is why it is very important to stay well and make sure you do not get any pressure sores. Don't think of your self as being disabled. If you don't focus on it no one else really will either. Trying to help others is really a great high. You can help your Mom fold clothes, call for your appointments, make a shopping list, take control of anything that you can possibly do. Also I spent alot of time reading... It is a great way to spend down time... you can read inspirational stories. You can also BE an inspirational story. This is a chance to make your life really great. You say you had addiction problems before your accident. Even though you were able to walk and do things normally, maybe you were possibly lost about your life purpose? Maybe? The wheelchair slows you down a little so that you have time to think about your actions... running away from problems is not an option. The wheelchair also is about freedom to get back out in the world. I am in my third year so I have had time to work it out. It gets better. I hope you stay in touch and let me know of your progress. Your friend with an SCI, Ariana
Ariana's posting brought tears to my eyes. The strength and purpose of life she has is inspirational. My son was injured six years ago at age 19. He is a C4-5 quad, so has some additional physical limitations. He has suffered from some depression, but has also developed a life where, it's not what he or I envisioned, but definitely is a life worth living for. Blondeyvonne, keep going, get into a rehab program that really helps to guide you into a place where you have hope again and develop the skills you need to maintain your health, both physically and mentally. My son went to Shepherd Center in Atlanta. In the midst of chaos for us personally, it really taught us how to move forward positively. My son gained skills and confidence there that I truly believe he would not have received closer to our home (Boston area). It was worth it in more ways than I can describe. I hope as time passes that your sadness and grief lessen, and that you are able to move forward positively.
Paula
I can not tell where you live. Here in Cincinnati I have an excellent physical therapist. I would refer you if you are anywhere near here. They have a "SuperMan" program for people who don't have enough money to attend therapy sessions. My physical therapist is my biggest cheerleader in life.
Jim
How do people afford to go to these other places like the one you mentioned? I had no insurance when I had my car wreck and am on Medicaid, also I am approved with a Spinal Cord Injury Waiver and approved for Vocational Rehab. We decided to wait a bit for the schooling until I get a little more physically and mentally able to do this. I always wanted to go back to college.
I live in Mississippi if anyone knows how people can get the best of help without the financial resources it takes please let me know.
Do you know of any studies available? I live in Mississippi and have been told there wasn't any available for me
Hi Blondeyvonne,
I would try calling Shepherd Center directly and see what suggestions they might have for getting you to their rehab. They may also have ideas about what is available to you locally. They do a tremendous amount of work outside of Georgia -- in fact routinely plan at least one event up in New England where we are. My son's accident was work-related and the insurance did cover it; however, many of the people we met while there were on Medicaid and had more limited resources. They also have a web site: www.shepherd.org that can provide you with more info. I can't stress highly enough how critically their services affected the outcome with our family.
And ... great to hear you will be getting back into college! That's a 'moving forward' plan.
Best,
Paula
Medicaid in Mississippi may not pay for out of state care. It is one of the poorest Medicaid programs in the country. In Mississippi probably the best place for SCI rehab and care is at Methodist Rehab Center in Jackson: www.methodistonline.org
There are about 8 CARF accredited CIIRP programs in MS, none are accredited specifically for SCI but this is for general rehab and Methodist was at one time a Model System SCI Center. Where specifically in MS do you live?
University of Alabama at Birmingham (Spain) might also be an option if MS Medicaid would fund you there.
Meanwhile, what are you doing to exercise and get yourself stronger? What are you doing with all your free time? Sitting around the house watching TV or surfing the net is not a way to get active and deal with your depression.
I was actually going to Methodist Rehab as out patient
3 days a week for two hours a session. After about 5 weeks they told us Medicaid made changes and the facility I was going to was not adjacent to The Methodist Hospital. I was told I had to go to a rehab center adjacent to a hospital or hospital based. We were told we could go to Bapist Hospital or St. Dominic Hospital and we chose the St. Dominic Hospital. Medicaid told me I would only be out of rehab about 2 weeks for the change to be approved. Well I went 6 weeks without therapy at a rehab and just started back this past Monday. They put me in a stand up frame, exercise my upper torso and I should soon be put into water. Doesn't seem fair because we know Methodist Rehab is known for the great care of Spinal Cord Injuries. We were told though alot of the therapists at St. Dominic Hospital had come from Methodist Hospital.
I would have to agree with Fuschia Fan. My daughter did not have therapy because she was not a candidate being in a coma and then unable to participate for a long time. We worked on stretching, moving, exercising as much as possible at home for the past 3 years. She has just started PT 2 months ago. They are surprised at her strength and health for not having treatment all of this time. It has to come from you. Therapy is only as good as what you take home and do with it. My daughter also started going to college on-site just this semester a couple of months ago. She also wanted to learn but not able physically and mentally to participate. She started reading as much as possible. She took some online courses that you can take at your own speed at home. She tried to look up everything she could about spinal cord injuries to educate herself. She was too busy to be depressed. You are in a fight for your life. It is important that you stay as healthy and strong as possible. When I had her propped up on the couch, she had no balance due to her head injury and she could not speak. I had propped her up to get laundry out of the dryer to put on the couch so that I could fold it. I left the clothes there and when I returned she had started to fold... haphazardly... but she just kept trying. I did not leave it for her to do, but she had such a sense of accomplishment that we ended up doing that regularly. She even started folding in bed lying down when she was not feeling well enough to be up. I wish you well. I just want you to know that it is good you are asking questions. Don't give up, exercise and read as much as possible. Keep your brain and body so active that you sleep well at night. We are on MediCal here too. We have still come a long way as a family because she would not give up. Your best resource is already there. I wish your family well too. Take care, Patricia ( just a mom)
I did have a pressure sore from the very beginning which probably started when I was thrown out of my car hitting the ground and breaking my back. I actually came home with the pressure sore and it got worse but my mom worked with me and I was also seeing a plastic surgeon/wound care doctor. It finally went away but I am scarred from it.
Thanks for the uplifting post you sent.
Hey Blondeyvonne,
Sorry to hear about your accident. I had a diving accident in November 2005, I'm a C-5 quad, surprisingly I've never suffered from depression, I know it's very common in people in situations like ours. I just try to stay positive, I never see myself beeing in a wheelchair forever, I beleive I will walk again and I think that's what you need to do, just believe you can do it and you will. Don't let yourself fall into depresion, that will only make things worse. As far a therapy goes, there's a great place called Project Walk, (there are a couple in the USA) I just joined their program and I couldn't be happier, there are people with my level of injury that are already walking with a walker and others that have recovered completely. Your injury is a lot lower so the chances for you are higher. You can do fundraisers to help pay for your therapy or find a sponsor. Check out www.catastrophicfund.org they can guide you with that. Also check out www.projectwalk.org to see if there's a facility close to you.
Feel free to ask me any questions.
Blessings to you,
Lissette :-)
You must be a very strong person.
I admire you for not falling into depression
and admire you for it. I will check into the
links you sent.
Thanks!
I m a T8 SCI 6 years, struck by a drunk driver. I had multiple rib fractures, spleen removed, broken scapula, and closed head injury, I couldnt count money for the first couple weeks. I was 43 when injured a father of two boys. I go to rehab 5 days a week, 3 times at the Detroit Medical Center and twice with a man who has been working with SCI for 35 years. I feel I have a great oppertunity to walk again and that is my goal. The biggest hurdle we face is mental. Obstacles are what we see when we lose site of our goals. I see guys where I do rehab in their teens and twenties. My heart goes out to you, your life is just starting. Use the youth for your advantage. There are many good things on the herizon that show promise. I wrote a book, "Walking This Walk" maybe it will encouage you, amazon.com. Your in my prayers, bro. Your going to make it. Brad
ok so it has been a couple of years since this posting. Any changes? My husband was paralyzed from the waist down-T10 T11 and is very depressed, unable to move. The accident happened in February so it has been only a short while however I am worried as it seems to just get worse and worse. He becomes thinner, looses strength and has a harder time functioning every day. Any thoughts. My husband in 44 and has always been very active-until now.
Boy could I use your positive attitude at my house! My husband only lays in bed and looks so sad.
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