Surgery this week

• By cdbart
• Posted September 20, 2009 at 11:56 am
• Report post

I can only speak for the surger and chemo. I had surgery first and then chemo. I also did not have to have any debulking. I would talk to the Dr and find out why he is recommending assisted care. Is there special medical attention that she will need that you can't handle? That would be the only reason I would see for your mom to NOT stay with you. What does she want to do? As a mom my only concern would be that I would not want to be an imposition on my children but deep down I'd rather be with them.

• Reply

• By kmeha
• Posted September 20, 2009 at 12:14 pm
• Report post

I had surgery with debulkng and it was somewhat painful. The pain meds were a must for some days. Keep hydrated and find a chair that is just right. Not to high and not low. Pillows helped me when i slept. I had about 4 or 5. Walking is very improtant i made laps around the hosiptal and when i got home i went around the house. I had chemo after surgery. I hope that your mother does well.

• Reply

• By lifeisgrand
• Posted September 20, 2009 at 2:19 pm
• Report post

I think that would have a lot to do with how healthy and independent your mom is. And also whether someone is around to help her out during the day. I mean I am young (52) and had two c-sections where I was able to come home 3 days later and care for myself and a baby. I thought this would be no biggie but believe me, the surgery is quite different, much more agressive and harder to recover from. Quite often it will involve a bowel resection or even colostomy. You may want to see how it goes in the surgery before you make a decision. That said, as long as she gets up and moving in the hospital and does the things she can for herself and is willing to ask for help with the rest, she should do fine. Every day is better than the day before. But the first week is difficult just getting up and moving. I had someone here at home with me whenever I was getting out of bed, taking a shower, getting down the steps. My husband worked from home the days he could and is only a few minutes away if I did need him. It was a long two weeks for me but I was driving short distances by three weeks and getting out of the house some before that with other people.

• Reply

• By PATORN
• Posted September 20, 2009 at 4:03 pm
• Report post

I was 63 when I had my surgery. I feel that my care at home was much better than I ever could have gotten in any other place. My belief is that when you are any place but at home you need an advocate to see to your needs. The staff in extended care facilities are, like hospitals, generally short-staffed and therefore have too many patients (clients) to care for than they have hours in the day or night. If you would have to be there seeing to her needs, it would be easier for you and her to have your mom with you.

• Reply

• By quacker
• Posted September 21, 2009 at 11:09 pm
• Report post

I vote for home care. I had surgery first and then chemo. I don't know if the chemo first makes the post op period harder or easier, but home is definitely the place to be. Once I got home, was able to hold down food (mostly homemade soups), get a little exercise, sleep more comfortably, enjoy visits from friends, etc.

• Reply

• By FavoriteAunt
• Posted September 22, 2009 at 8:30 am
• Report post

I had surgery/debulking first, then chemo. The only way that could make a difference is that if she isn't going back on chemo right after the surgery, the healing will be easier. I had to heal from the surgery while on chemo and it was very rough.

I also don't see why she would need assisted living. It took me a good 2-3 months before I felt somewhat normal - it depends on how much they do during the surgery. With some people they are in and out; with others (like me), there's a lot of poking around looking for cells. She'll need someone around to help her in the beginning, and nothing beats the comfort of home. You can give her the right foods, depending on how she's feeling, and whatever else she needs. Just having someone to talk to, who really cares, is very important.

Having family and some close friends around is a good idea. Knowing that people care makes a big difference, but give her a little time to get physically comfortable since she may not be up to visitors right away. I wish her the very best and she is blessed to have such a wonderful daughter. I know my mom helped me tremendously so I know the feeling.

• Reply

• By HollyKSS
• Posted September 22, 2009 at 9:44 am
• Report post

I don't think they are going to schedule more chemo right away. We are going to go the home route - I've already had a million questions from friends and family about where she is going to be after we bring her home from the hospital... and I think that the more visits she has, the faster she will recover. Thank you for all of the advice!

• Reply

Add to the discussion