Parking Rant!

Yet again I was 'confronted' if you will, with a rude comment from some man I didn't know in a Parking lot. It seems he took it upon himself to be judge and jury in a situation he knew nothing about by commenting on my use of a Handicapped 'sticker' parking space.

This was the final straw. On his way past me he said loud enough for me to hear but under his breath... 'Another loser who doesn't need a handicap space taking spaces from someone who REALLY needs it'

I simply could NOT believe my ears! This was the second time someone said something like this to me!

The first time I was dumbfounded that someone would actually say something like that and I said nothing. I mean, I don't have hair and wear a baseball cap.. it's OBVIOUS I'm bald... do they think this woman would actually SHAVE her head just to get a closer parking space?

This time I was ready!

I walked up to the insensitive jerk and said politely...

'You just don't know why some people have to use a handicapped parking spot. Just because you can't see me limp doesn't mean I don't have a condition that makes it difficult for me to get around. I've been doing major chemotherapy for EIGHTEEN YEARS...

(mind you he's walking away from me and I'm following him *have rant will travel* LOL),

I have heart issues which makes it hard for me to breath while walking, I have broken both of my feet in the past year and it's difficult for me to keep my balance, not to mention I've had 10 major surgeries one was less than a month ago!!!!

(I took off my hat so he could see my fuzzy bald head with minimal downy duckling hair regrowth) and continued....

'Just because you can't SEE these things wrong with me doesn't mean they aren't difficult for me to deal with! It doesn't mean I don't deserve a closer parking spot! It doesn't mean I have to put up with RUDE comments from people that don't know what their talking about!'

He got in his car, closed the door and drove away.

GRRRRRRR!!!

I didn't growl at him.. but I am while I'm typing this~! LOL

This was handled with such finesse and tact that my step daughter (who was standing next to our vehicle) asked me what happened when I walked back to her. She hadn't heard any of it. I was so proud of myself for keeping control!
People need to know that there are MANY reasons others use handicapped parking spaces. Not all of them require a limp or wheel chair usage.

This guy needs to know that his rude comment upset me. Even if I knew he was wrong, it was upsetting.

I bet he doesn't comment on anyone else using a special parking space after his encounter with the Finally-Had-It-Almost-Bald-Woman that went ballistic on him!

By pegart
Posted July 16, 2009 at 5:42 pm
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I remember in chemo the women next to me had breast cancer and it had to spread everywhere. She got around on pain meds and looked great. she told me once she had parked at a bank and went in. when she can out a man was writing a note on her car saying bitch, you don't need this. she told me she was to surprised to react, but next time she was going to take off her blouse. another time I was on a train in the hadicap section and I askd the conductor how she was able to tell who was really suppose to be down there. she told me once she used to question people who looked healthy and there was a young woman who looked young and healthy. she told the women only handicapped people belonged there and the women took off her leg in response. The conductor chuckeled and said she learned her lesson. Just a couple of humorous stories.

By SONGBIRD49
Posted July 16, 2009 at 11:50 am
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HORRAY FOR YOU!!! The insensitive jerk. As I struggled from regular parking area to the elevator in the garage a month ago, this 35 year old guy pulled his sport car into the handicapped space next to the elevator, grabbed his brief case and jacket and flung a sticker over the mirror and jumped into the elevator with me. I had all I could do to keep my mouth shut! Have to believe in Karma I guess for it to come back to the jerks. I assure you this guy you encountred is wishing he kept his trap shut and NEVER expected you to go after him. I applaud you!

By momanderson920
Posted July 15, 2009 at 11:16 pm
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GOOD FOR YOU!!!! There are some real jerks in this world. I had an experience in a grocery store with a jerky cashier who insisted that I swap out an item myself plus go through every item in my cart to verify the coupon was valid when I obviously had cancer...no hair, pasty color, etc. and was weak as dishwater and could hardly put the items on the conveyor. The bag boy was standing right there and he didn't help either!!! I reported it to the manager and on my way out, a nice man behind me in line followed me to my car, told me he had ragged out both the cashier and bagboy when I left and then proceeded to put all my groceries in my car. But I relate to how you felt towards that man! Some people ought to be ashamed of themselves. Fortunately there are some good people in this world but one jerk out there like that guy can cause alot of stress and after all you have been through, he should be ashamed of himself!

By djwaz184
Posted July 6, 2009 at 10:31 am
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Thanks Kibbie!

Taking care of my mom for that time helped me greatly in dealing with my own cancer - 7 years after her death.

I think of it all as a nightmare - the cancer and chemo, I'm in remission, but I still have bad dreams (the check-ups). I get so anxious about the week before each, the upcoming Wednesday, July 8th appointment is no exception.

By esther3kids
Posted July 6, 2009 at 1:10 am
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Good for you, he new he was wrong in saying what he did but couldn't face you. He should have at least apologized to you. But he wasn't man enough. The coward. Just another one of those who thinks they know it all.

Anyway, I think you handled it well. And sometimes we just have to let it all out.

By Jennali
Posted July 4, 2009 at 8:18 pm
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Just remember we are all different. There have been some exhausting post chemo days when I could have really benefitted from a shorter walk. Chemo affects us all differently. I have a friend, a survivor of colon cancer, who still struggles with peripheral neuropathy. To look at her, she looks great. The truth is, her feet are numb, and she has tripped several times because she couldn't tell where her feet were. Does she deserves a handicapped sticker? I believe she does. I have another friend with an "invisible" heart condition and a legitimate handicapped sticker. Around here, the doctors don't give out handicapped forms like popcorn.

I say let's all give one another on here the benefit of the doubt. After all else we have gone through, do we really need to justify whether we need a sticker or a scooter? I would be very surprised if any of us are abusing the handicapped status.

By songbird78
Posted July 4, 2009 at 6:36 pm
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I got to say I agree a bit with Zircons here,
I have a question and probally will start a war here, BUT HOW with cancer did you get a placard?
I can remember the first time I had cancer, I figured why not I now how cancer and thought why not let me try and ask my doctor for one, I thought maybe id have a need for it if I might have gotten tired ETC ( never did) but you never know , I was bald as the sun and probally people assumed I had cancer but my doctore REFUSED to give me one, saying " just being a bit tired from chemo doesnt mean your handcapped just pace yourself"
In the beginning I was mad at him....im not now, I agree Im on chemo now and I push myself, Its good for you to do so its keeps your mentally and phyically better, sure some days I gotta push a bit but I get lots of encourement from freinds etc.
I got to say it bugs me to see perfectally fine cancer patients abusing this, even really ok ones buying a scooter too, if you REALLY need it , if your at the end of life I can agree, but Im sorry my opinion, if you really dont why abuse this? I must be in the minority then.
This is only my opinion just opinion....

By Jen457
Posted July 3, 2009 at 11:24 pm
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I would have gone out to Target's web site and let them know what happened. I have a friend who does this regularly whether it is a good experience or a bad experience. She always gets the name of the person involved. I would have liked to see what that manager would have said if you would have pulled out a piece of paper and a pen and asked him to spell his name and the name of the employee involved. No need to say what you were going to do with it.
If you are ill and do not have a sticker, you are taking your chances by parking in a handicapped space. However, if you do have a sticker, you do not owe an explanation to anyone. I would simply tell them to call the police if they thought it was being abused and boy, were they going to be embarassed. My life is too short to hassle with idiots in the parking lot. (Okay, they would tick me off! LOL)

By Amethystmd2559
Posted July 3, 2009 at 6:58 pm
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djwaz184,

That employee still could have gotten a ticket. The handicap tags are for ONLY the person they are registered to, not the car. I complained like you did once, with the same attitude as the manager, then called police. He got a ticket for misuse of a handicap tag. The person they are registered to stands to lose those tags if they knowingly let others use them.

Bobbie

By Mimzi
Posted July 3, 2009 at 2:29 pm
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The same thing happened a few times to my mom when she had pancreatic cancer, and she had a handicapped parking sign for the car. She finally got fed up and told the last one that she had terminal cancer, which immediately made the man very quiet.
People certainly shouldn't make these kind of judgments, but it's good for those who are still learning to hear from us that there are all kinds of legitimate reasons people need those special spaces.

By kibbitzqueen
Posted July 2, 2009 at 9:05 pm
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Shearaw,

I can't agree with you more! Too funny about the 'sticker icon cartoon' LOL (Funny in the truth behind it not insensitive humor).
Good one! Your post made my day! Thanks for the chuckles!

By Shearaw
Posted July 2, 2009 at 8:02 pm
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Kibbie, great response. Unfortunately our society equates the sticker with people who look just like the icon cartoon. There are a lot of people out there who are lacking a filter between their brain and their lips!

Several months ago someone honked at me in the parking area of our cancer center, because I wasn't pulling out quickly enough to suit her. I was shocked at the insensitivity. I almost gave her the single fingered salute, but instead I just scowled in the rear view mirror. On second thought, if I had gotten out of the car and walked back to her vehicle to say something, maybe she would have imploded right then and there.

By kibbitzqueen
Posted July 2, 2009 at 4:29 pm
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I DO have a 'Handicapped card' hanger for my window though from day to day it's my own decision whether I 'need' to use it or not.

If I'm feeling up to it, I don't. If I simply can't make it that day I do. My husband drives a truck for a living and is away. 99.9% of my family live 5 states away. If I'm on my own to get a prescription or gallon of milk and I don't feel well, I use the card!

By zircons
Posted July 2, 2009 at 3:39 pm
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I am sorry to say I disagree with most of you. Those handicap spots are supposed to be for cars that have the sticker or card. If you don't have one, how are people supposed to know you are handicapped? There are people on chemo who can walk from a parking space to the store or wherever. I know that many people abuse the privilege. I have often thought about hollering at people who use the spaces and don't have the handicap card, but I am little and they are bigger than I am.

By kibbitzqueen
Posted July 2, 2009 at 2:52 pm
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djwaz184,

Wow. I'm so sorry that your momma had to deal with that on top of everything else she was dealing with. I know first hand what a dilemma it is to be the healthy one helping someone who needs an designated spot.

The looks you get from people are really horrible. I have been known to write the owner of the company when something like this has happened. The manager should have done SOMETHING even if it was make that employee clock out to move his vehicle THEN clock back in. I think I would have phoned the local police at that point too and found out what time Jamal got out of work. There ARE laws.

I usually asses my feelings for the day and try to get a little more exercise and if I'm doing ok (a few weeks out of chemo) leave the spots for others. I DO use them, don't get me wrong but if there is a spot 3 down from the special spaces, I'll walk the extra paces just to leave the room for those who feel like I do when I'm fresh out of chemo. Much farther than that and I'm too tuckered out go into the store!

I find it peculiar that so many are particular about the 'special' parking spaces and comment about their use but no one EVER has said a word about my use of the motorized cart!???? What's up with that?????????????????????

Perhaps because they wouldn't have a use for the motorized cart but they would use a closer parking space? The world may never know.

Your mom is really something with her 8 years of hard chemotherapy. It's not an easy road to journey down. I think the doctors feed things to you 'six months' at a time to make it easier to digest. 'Six months of Taxol and we'll see how your doing' to an unseasoned cancer patient means 'In six months I'll be done and this nightmare will be over'. To those of us that are 'seasoned' it means, we'll be doing something else after these six treatments'.

I think the Veterans spot is a wonderful idea! I don't think they are recognized enough for the service they provided our country!

In closing, I'm also sorry that you went through chemotherapy. I was in 'remission-ish' when my mom found out about her cancer. It's just not the kind of Mother-Daughter bonding ANY family needs.

Hope all goes well with your treatments and your Mom bless-her-heart.

Kibbie

By djwaz184
Posted July 2, 2009 at 9:22 am
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Way To GO!!!!!

I do remember a person or shall I say employee that ticked me off so much I went to the manager of the store.

At the time I was taking my mom shopping at Target. I patiently waited for a handicap spot because she could barely walk long enough to get to the motorized shopping cart inside the store. Mind you the woman had been through nearly 8 straight years of hard chemotherapy for breast cancer that was terminal.

As I waited, some kid, and I mean kid of say 16-17 took the spot that I was ready to turn in to. There was a handicap sticker hanging on the mirror. He parked, ran out of his vehicle in his Target uniform and into the store. But I got his name, Jamal. I was so upset. My mom, bless her heart just said, let's wait for the next one.

I parked in a "regular" spot and went in fuming mad, even shaking at this point. This was the last straw for me seeing someone do this. Even when I've had mom in the car and she chose to stay in the car, I always parked in the regular spots. I was thankful that I had the ability to walk and wasn't going to take up space for someone else that needed it.

Anyway, I went in and demanded that I speak with a store manager. When he came up, I was still shaking mad. I told the manager what had happened and he immediately called Jamal to the front of the store. The manager then told him that he should not park his car there. Jamal said that it was his grandma's car and that he was late for work that is why he parked there! What made me more mad, the manager didn't tell Jamal to move his car! I looked at the manager obviously MORE pissed off, I started to speak but the the manager stopped me and said that Jamal was on company time now and that he could move his car on his break. WHAT F*&^%% nerve this A&&hole manager had!

I went back to the car to let my mom know what happened and we didn't wait for the next spot, we left. I was not about to go inside and go shopping in a store where even the manager didn't care about the handicap parking spaces.

However, even after my own chemotherapy and awkward mobility, I am still thankful that I'm able to walk. I know there are worse off folks out there than me (I think of my mom), that need those close spots so that they can do their shopping like everyone else.

I've also seen spots desginated for "moms to be". I think that is a great idea. Pregnant woman, especially late stage, definately need to be closer too. Never know, their water might burst while shopping!

There is one store that even has a special close spot designated just for Veterans. What a nice recognition for their honored service to our country!

By FavoriteAunt
Posted July 2, 2009 at 8:08 am
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Don't worry - he may have walked away but he heard every word you said and it probably bothered him more than you think!

I've seen abuses with the parking too - one day a young girl just hopped out of an SUV she parked in a handicap space and she looked like she could run a marathon. She obviously used someone else's car and didn't care. Most people are good, but there are some out there.

I'll also remember what you said in case I ever hear anything like that. Also like that letter-to-the-editor idea.

By Patricia123
Posted July 2, 2009 at 7:44 am
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Good for you,,I had a vicarious thrill to hear your rant.

I usually have trouble ranting and just say loudly "God is watching you all the time and He sees you and may help you have a heart"

But every fifteen years or so I get a good rant.

Your ranting skills are impressive!!!! Rant for all of us every time.

Welcome to Inspire!

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