Oopherectomy, should I wait

• By Jennali
• Posted October 4, 2009 at 10:17 pm
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Mary,
Knowing what I know now about ovarian cancer, my advice would be to go for the oopherectomy. Ovarian cancer can kill you; not having children is a heartache, but you don't die. Every year that you wait is a year that cancer can get a foothold.

If you were in a relationship with the serious prospect of getting pregnant, my advice might be different. While you're waiting for the right guy (who might or might not show up on your timetable), cancer can be sneaking around.

My husband and I do not have biological children. We wanted to, but could never get pregnant. We have formed our family through older child adoption. If it is important to you to be a mother, there are options. But you have to be around, you know?

I hope I have not been too blunt. If I could go back in time, I would have had my ovaries out years ago.

Best wishes to you as you decide.

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• By SnoozBar
• Posted October 4, 2009 at 11:51 pm
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You have not been too blunt at all. I am looking for advice from those that have been there or are going through it, since they know exactly how I am feeling. Thank you for responding I so appreciate your time Have a wonderful week.

Mary

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• By PeacefulZen
• Posted October 5, 2009 at 1:35 am
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Hi Mary,
I would have to say the same thing. Get them out. I have four biological kids. My older sister couldn't have kids and has five adopted kids four adopted as babies and one was three. They are as much her kids as mine are mine.

I was one of the lucky ones who's Ovarian Cancer was got in an earlier stage and my prognosis is optimistic. However, cancer runs in my moms family. she had Colon cancer, her mom, grandmother and sister all died from different types of cancer, and now I have ovarian cancer. It was a fluke mine was found. The thing is, I had some small pea sized cysts that my GYN had been watching. not 6 months after an ultrasound that showed they hadn't grown, a pelvic mass was found the size of an orange. A month later it was the size of a cantelope! It can escalate very quickly.

You can still be a mom and that is a wonderful thing to be, but you will want to be around to watch kids graduate, get married and see your grandkids.

Ultimately, this is your decision. And there is no doubt it will be a very emotional and probably depressing one if you decide to have the surgery. I can tell you even at 53 I cried that my uterus was removed...the place I grew my babies. The fact that now I really couldn't have any more babies hit me hard...which was dumb because I had been through menopause for 3 years!! But, the feelings were there.

Having been around my sister and her adopted kids, I can only tell you when you old that little baby in your arms and they look into your eyes they instantly melt your heart, you are their mom forever.

Another possibility (maybe??) would be to freeze your eggs...for a surregate.

Think it through. Try to get the doctor to tell you what they would do....If you decide to have the surgery, don't look back and second guess if you did the right thing. Move forward, knowing you are doing what you can now to be a healthy woman to love and be loved by whomever comes into your life.

I wish you the very best.

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• By Plonanon
• Posted October 5, 2009 at 2:01 am
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Hi Mary.

I won't give you advice about what to do, but I will strongly recommend that you visit FORCE, www.facingourrisk.org, which is a web site for women with BRCA mutations. When I was considering getting tested for the BRCA mutation(s) I read the posts on the site every day, and I learned a tremendous amount of useful information. Virtually everyone on the site has coped or is coping with a similar problem. One of the things that you will hear over and over on FORCE is that everyone is different, and a decision that is right for one person is not necessarily right for another person.

Good luck.

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• By verlinda
• Posted October 5, 2009 at 10:17 am
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I'm BRCA1+, too. I found out after my sister died with ovarian cancer and I was diagnosed seven months later. Actually, it took me almost a year after surgery to convince the oncology group to order genetic testing. My mother had breast cancer, my dad lung cancer, and five of his six siblings died of cancer. Two had breast cancer and two or three had ovarian cancer. We think the mutation came from Dad's side. My sister's daughter has the same mutation I have. All four of her grandparents had cancer.

Anyway, for now I'm opting to keep my breasts with vigilant monitoring. I would definitely advise you to have the ovaries removed. I'm the mother of a son through adoption, and I can't imagine loving a child more. (I'm saying that and he's 14 with all the typical teenage moodiness!)

Seriously, ovarian cancer is so insidious and has so many places it can spread that many times it's too late despite the most vigilant testing.

As others have said, this is an individual decision, so do what is best for you. I like the idea of seeing whether you can freeze some eggs.

Let us know if we can help in any other way.

Blessings.

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• By JanJ
• Posted October 5, 2009 at 1:00 pm
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I would also recommend reading "Pretty is What Changes" by Jessica Queller. Her book convinced me to have a prophylactic mastectomy -- scheduled for December. I was diagnosed with ovca nearly 3 years ago. Her book deals with your situation. Good luck! Jan

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• By 99to1
• Posted October 6, 2009 at 12:53 pm
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I was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer when I was 34--we are cancer sisters--whoo hoo!

My doctor and I had the "go or not" conversation before surgery--in my case they thought I had a benign cyst that was not when they went in to take it out--Her "professional" opinion was that if it was cancer to be aggressive, but I was not very concerned about bio-kids-I've always said I'd adopt (and I'm queer)

I will say now---starting down the adoption road--the loss struck me later. I have sad feelings about not being able to have my own kid--but I have very happy emotions about catching my cancer at a Stage IIA and looking forward to being a mom to someone who really needs me.

There's a doc "In the Family" on the PBS POV website that also deals with genetic issues and the prospects of family.

Best of luck with your decision. I'd also suggest a good therapist (if you don't already have one)--it helps to talk this stuff out.
www.ovariancancerandme.com

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• By YMONSTA
• Posted October 6, 2009 at 10:29 pm
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HI SNOOZBAR

Im sorry for all that you have gone through, I am a 4 year ovac survivor , I had a friend who had ovac cancer and was never married she left one ovary in because she wanted to someday have kids, after two years the cancer spread to the other ovary and she has been fighting the battle of the beast ever since. I know that this can only be your decison . good luck to you in whatever you choose.

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• By laughingnikki
• Posted October 6, 2009 at 10:55 pm
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Perhaps this is unconventional, but have you thought about a friend that you are close to, that you know well that would consider donating sperm to you, so you could have a baby?

I was first dx at 27 and then again at 32, i've had all of my baby factory removed and has been very difficult for my hubby and I as my 2nd dx was two months after we got married. Although, we were together when i had my first dx. We should have just tried.

When I feel REALLY sorry for myself, I think ...I should have gotten prego when I was young. However, then I know that the life I'm living is the life God intends for me.

God Bless you!
Nikki

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• By SnoozBar
• Posted October 7, 2009 at 8:45 am
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Thank you all for your replies to my post, I am so happy that I am a part of sisterhood, it is so wonderful how women are there for each other to support one another. I feel that whatever decision awaits me with God's help I will be at peace with it. Happy Wednesday :)

Mary

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• By Rikku
• Posted October 7, 2009 at 6:55 pm
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Hi!
I'd get a second opinion from a specialist in ovarian cancer (my GYN is specialist only in ovarian cancer, and I always feel safe by his options). I'd also ask your doctor about what he thought if you'd wait until 40. If they advise you to do the oophorectomy, then hell with it... Do it. In the meantime I'd keep an eye close on the ovaries (like US and Ca125 every 3 months).

BUT DEFINITELY, I'd harvest eggs. You never know what the future brings, and you MAY want to have kids. Maybe because I am one of the youngest in this forum, I think that is a very important option to leave open. Talk to your doctor about harvesting eggs ASAP. Also I read about removing the ovaries and freezing them in a way you can later use the eggs. Ask about that as well. If you have a partner freeze embryos as well, I heard they last longer.

I think its important to be on the safe side with cancer but I also think having kids is important and can change your life. I'd try to conciliate both things...

Good luck!

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• By Meadowlark
• Posted October 7, 2009 at 9:58 pm
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That's a tough choice. I lost both ovaries last year due to endometriosis and ovarian cancer prior to menopause and without having had children, which I was trying to do. I regretted for a while not having children, but you get used to whatever happens in life or doesn't happen. The biggest shock was the surgical menopause. Definitely look into that and how to treat the sudden onset of symptoms that can come - horrid hot flashes, loss of vaginal functions, no sex drive, and depression. Good luck.

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