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I don't know about you but I am 43 and I went from a happy, full of life, sexual person to feeling like an it. My poor partner is being so good but I don't have any sexual desire at all. Nothing does it for me and I am being to not even care. Anyone else?
Cancer Taxol Surgery Hysterectomy Fever Blisters Ovarian cancer Taxotere Menopause Pain Carboplatin
I feel your angst. The same thing happened to me after my surgery. That immediate menopause pretty much did my sexual desire in! I don't have an answer either since I would obviously not be able to have HRT. I am a newlywed, I sometimes wonder how much my husband can stand it....not fair to him. But nothing has given my back my libido
Thanks so much for responding. I just read your comments to my partner cuz I want her to know it's not just me. I think she does but it's just so unfair to our partners. Did your doc tell you never to go on HRT? My oncologist was mad when he found out that another doctor put me on them after my first diagnosis because I was complaining of HotFlashes, crying all the time, libido, etc.
Im 43 on going chemo my 2nd round of cancer...I have had noooo sexual desire either...My husband has his moments when he really gets aggravated when its like 2 months that went by...So dont think its abnormal for you feelin like this...But over all my husband has had alotttt of patients too hahaha we were very sexual b4 cancer too:)
I have noooo desire at all for sex and I was a very active sex partner with hubby b4 all this...Soooo ....Nooooo.... Your not alone:)
Hey,
Thanks so much for responding. I am so sorry you are going throught his. That said, it feel better somehow knowing you and I are in the same boat. We are the same age and both gong thorugh this for a second time. I don't knw how our partners deal with it all. My partner has been wonderful but I feel bad because of my lack of desire. Are you also feeling a little less excited about life in general? I just don't have that same zip and drive that I always had. I hope that gets better.
Yes I do feel like I dont have the same zippy feelin like I use to have...I was a very active person and now Im tired and lazy all the time...But what I learned from this is that when I am feel sooo down about life I make myself get motivated...I start moppin my house are dusting are even go sit on my swing outside and get some sunshine...Don't give up girl !!! There's light on the end of the tunnel and we can reach it:) My hubby works offshore so it helps me out on the sexual part haha but oh my when he comes home I get all nervous hahaha But!!!! Don't give up just cause you're feelin so bad right now...It has to get better in our fight:)
xoxoxo's
Listen...God never promised us a rose garden life...But he does promise not to ever forsake us in any way:)
are you fighting ur 2nd battle with ovarian cancer? I had 8 doxil treatments since January until now...Gave me a ct scan just to find out my cancer has spread to my spleen,liver and colon...They gave me Taxotere & Avastin...The 1st treatment blew me out the water haha made the blisters pop out in my mouth on my hands and feet and my blood pressure went to 159/117 and fever for 2 days and home health had to come to my home for 3 days straight to give me fluids...Doc has me on a 6week chemo break...Sooooo see life is to precious and we cant give up no matter what:) write me anytime!!!!
Oh my goodness. Youhave had quite a ride. We had different drugs for some reason. I had Taxol and Carboplatin for 6 cycles in 2004. Unfortunately I am going through it again but this time I am getting it IV and IP (into the abdomen) with same drugs. I was only Stage I the first time so it was a huge shock to me when I was told I was having a recurrence. They told me I was cured especially after 5 years. It amazes me that given all you are going through that you are giving me the pepp talk. I need it too. Thanks my friend. This sucks but we will get through it. If you ever want to talk here is my email and I will give you my phone number if you'd like. ctaffel123@aol.com
I too have felt like an "it". I had my surgery in 2007. My doc emphatically said NO when asked about HRT. He said beause OVCA is a hormone fed cancer. I only seem to "ignite" when drunk or after viewing adult movies(sad, isn't it). For me, the diagnosis was particularly harsh. Tried forever to have kids, so our sex life was like work. We're blessed with a son who is now 5. But the dx made my loss in 2002(stillborn girl during my 23rd week) all the more harshr because my purpose was gone. I always envisioned having a bunch of kids. My husband has been honest and has said that he sometimes just doesn't want to because nothing can come of it(no baby). So I sit here, 38 , and my sex life, well isn't.
I am 50 y.o. with stage 3c of fallopian tubes just diagnosed Sept 23, six weeks post op, and I realized, wow, now that I am beginning to come back from surgery, no sex drive at all. My husband and I are working on kissing much more often. i call it a "make out session." More touching, holding hands, I wrote him a nice loving poem and a love note, that brought tears streaming down his face, and he is a biker type of guy, mind you. We both agreed to be more affectionate toward each other, make a point of it, and that seems to be helping with my guilt of no sex drive. Love will overcome many things, and by God's great hand in our lives, this will prayerfully be one of them. I am sure drive will come back eventually. thanks for sharing such a personal thing, Monica
Monica,
Thanks for being so open and sharing about you and your husband, He sounds like a wonderful man. I will try the make out sessions and see how that goes. I think I will feel better when chemo is done and start getting my body back in shape.
I have been getting chemo for the past 3 years. Was diagnosed with Stage 3c. After the first session of chemo I was fine with the sex drive, however after the following treatments, I have lost all my desire. Now I am 74 and my husband is 78 and we have always had a healthy sex life. At least once a week. Now nothing for the past 2 years. I feel bad for him but we have our touchy, kissy sessions and seems to be good for both of us. Love and faith will conquer. Hang in there, things will get better.
Ditto for me. My husband however takes meds for blood pressure and is diabetic so his sex drive died before I began my cancer journey. After my double mastectomies (and reconstruction) and then after my complete hysterectomy, he jokingly said, except for my testicles and penis, we're now alike. Ha. Humor is our salvation. A nice hug and good kisses seem ok for us. We're 66 and 67 and we, too, had fertility issues years ago (ended up adopting, no natural kids) so we're just relieved now I think from all that clinical tryiing in our younger days. "It" became a chore, you know what I mean?
Sounds like you are a great couple. I am happy for you to have such a great relationship.
I absolutely LOVE this site. Soooo many women or men, going thru what I am going thru. It feels good to be one of many, rather than all alone. In fellowship there is power, and I believe it is a divine power sanctioned by our
Almighty God up above us. I thought maybe "it was just me" at first, but thanks to the wonderful discussion, it is US. try make out sessions, and holding hands and just general hugging. to quilter and rhodalois, man, boy oh boy, do you two give us lots to look forward to. SEX once a week in your 70s and 60s. To think we all thought we knew all about love in our teens and twenties. So glad to know it just keeps getting better. Be gentle to your partner or spouse, they are living thru the pain of cancer too. We have the easy job, we can feel it, all they can do is give us support and see how we react. LOVE you great GALS!!
I am a christian, never done it before with my hubby , but, i was just inspired to suggest reading aloud to each other, to the one you love the most, parts of the Song of Solomon from the Bible. It is a beautiful Book on love between two people written by the wisest man in the world, King Solomon. Suggestion, read it aloud, our ears and God's ears love to hear the Word spoken aloud. We, meaning me and hubby, are going to try it!! He doesn't know it yet, HEE, HEE!!
No desire, But,The one thing that makes a man want a woman is a Puzzy. Show him that and he wil be puzzy in your lap.
Keep Positive.
little or no desire here as well...and as far as the HRT..my doc too said NO, too, as it is a hormone fed cancer..just try to deal with the hot flashes etc...I would rather do that then get this damn cancer back! God bless all our husbands, partners etc for their love and patience with us all...
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