Any Single Parents living with OVCA out there ??

Hi All

Im having a hard time psychologically dealing with cancer right now simply because I am a single parent of my 9 yr old boy, I was dx in 2006 and have just completed my second lot of chemo and so am on a break right now until my next hospital appt in July.

Please let me know if you are out there so that i may know im not the only one

x

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Single parent of an 8 yo boy. You and your son will be in my prayers. You are not alone.

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I can't imagine having to go through this with young children. My son is 31yrs old now and expecting their first child. I will be so anxious to have my first grandchild. My father was a medical doctor and died when I was 3 yrs old from luekemia and my mother raised 3 children all by herself. I know the difficulties of being a single parent by watching her raise us.
Are there any support groups you can get involved with or other single parents that can help you out when you need it. I am sure you will be hearing from other single parents on this website to let you know you are not alone. I wish you strength, hope and peace with your journey and give your son all the hugs you can. I'm sure he loves you dearly and he will give you the strength you need to fight on. Hugs to you and you will be in my prayers.

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:) Hi

Thanks guys, ye it does seems a lonely place to be sometimes, so thanks for your replys and support x, Id love to talk to anyone else who finds themselves in this position :) x

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Sorry MommaDukes, I didnt answer your question, but no, as far as i can see there are not any support groups where i am in the Uk but i do feel i should go on a quest to find something, or even start something but i wouldnt know where or how to begin ! As far as I know I'm the only one so far.

Me and my son are obviously very close, but I am very sad that he has to bear this worry on his little shoulders, I just wanted a normal childhood for him as like you, my father also died of leukemia when i was about 8 and my mother also brought up us 3 kids by herself.

Good luck on getting your first grandchild :) my brother is just having his first at the ripe old age of 38 lol

Anita
x

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Terra, I am a single parent, but my children are a bit older. My 25 yr old son has moved back in with me to help take care of me. I also have a daughter who's just a few weeks from being 17.

I can imagine what it would be like if my children were younger. I have anxiety over my children but mostly I think it's over them having to take care of me.. I feel guilty that they're too young to have to care for a sick parent.

This disease is very multi-faceted, isn't it. It's never JUST cancer that we deal with..

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YOURE NOT ALONE GIRLFRIEND! Im divorced from my childrens dad. I have an 11 year old ...also 2 older kids..24 and 20. (would NEVER intrust THEM TO RAISE HER! LOL). THATS EXACTLY WHY IM GOING TO LIVE! we ALL have OUR REASON'S FOR FIGHTING LIKE WE'VE NEVER IMAGINED WE WOULD EVER HAVE THE STRENGTH TO DO..BUT WHEN IT COMES TO OUR KIDS...OH, ITS ON! You can and will LIVE!
Love, Kim

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Try to start a support group. You might be able to connect with others in your situation through some part of the NHS, 'though there are always restrictions on the sharing of information that make organizing difficult. When I was diagnosed with cardiomyopathy (pre-cancer) I got a lot of encouragement from the UK-based Cardiomyopathy Association. I am the single mother of a 31 year old son, and I have realised that children never grow out of being worried about their parent (s) when there is an illness. In the US there are some community groups that provide counseling, camps, etc. to children of parents with cancer - you might see if anything similar exists in the UK.

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Thanks for your posts x

Kibarisho i am not aware of any communities that deal with this apart from the young carers group for which my son has just got old enough for and for which i am still waiting to hear about as there is someone who has said they will put him forward for, though this organisation is not limited to people or single parents who have cancer.

I am starting to feel like it is my duty to look into it and see what i can find over here so thanks for your encouragement :)

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I am also a single parent of 9 year old girl. I have no brother or sister. Only family I have is my adopted parents. You are not alone and I will be here if you needed someone to listen.

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Thanks Nidd :)

Thanks for your post, I will message you when I have some private time with no little ears and eyes about.

Looking forward to chatting with you

Anita

x

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Hi

Im a, also a single parent to a 3yr old son and 7yr old daughter and am finding it hard juggling looking after them and having treatment.
Im in uk,if you do decide to start a support group please let me know.You are not alone.

Nikki xx

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I'm a single parent to a 3 and 5 year old.

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I was a single parent at the time of my dx my son was 14yrs old not only that but I also had custody of my 3 1/2 year old nephew. the fact that I was a parent and worked full time kept me focused on the responsiblities that were before me and so having to have surgery/chemo etc. was really just a breeze in that I had so many other things going on I did not have to focus on the illness and on the days I did not feel well I rested, but I had to do something other than deal with the med issues. I look back know and I am not sure how I did it..God was definalty a part of that, I was dx in aug 99 and have had several reoccurences. I am currently in treatment :( but the one thing that keeps me busy now is my 3yr old grand daughter. I pray that you continue to fight the battle and do what you do..be encouraged.

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@ Terrafly...I too am a single parent of 3 girls. They are now 15, 24 and 31. I was diagnosed on October 18th 2006 with stage III C OVC. It is hard to move forward but you have to. Your child needs you so all I can say is don't give up! Fight, Fight, Fight! You can and you "WILL" win! Look at me I am still here. I have beat it 4 x already and now working on my 5th. So just know that you are not alone. You have all of us for support. You and your son are in my prayers! *hugs*

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Hi again all :)

I am overwhelmed by your responses and you're all so incredibly strong and brave, please single parents keep the posts coming as i think there are things that we will all have in common that we could all share so that we dont feel like we've been left out in the cold in way of support and other stuff.

Thankyou, im starting to feel a little better about it all already, and I definitely think that the need for a place where we can support each other so promise to look into it to see what i can do. If anyone does find anything already out there please let me know.

xx

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Hi,
I too am a single parent of three (21, 19, 16). The youngest is having a hard time dealing with all that comes with OC and has chosen to live at his dads. Makes me very sad that he did this, but I can also understand and hopefully he can have some kind of 'normal'. And I just keep lovin' them!
You are not alone...there are other single parents out there. Lots of prayers for you!

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Hi NoMo

Its a hard place to be I know but dont be sad :) Thank the Lord that their father is in their lives to be able to give them that normality. Have you got support for you ?

My son is 9, but just for a few weeks his father has been totally absent in his life.
Every day i am thankful that I have a close relationship with my sister and brother-in-law who are his only other close relatives in his life. I manage to keep life as normal as i can for him, but as you know, when going through treatment this can get extremely difficult.
Are you involved with any support group where you are ?

love and strength

Anita
x

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When I found out about my cancer I was in school full time and a single mother of Girls 2 and 7. They are now 20 and 26. It's hard when the kids are so little when you find out about the cancer because they don't know a life without mom being sick! To them, you feeling rotten is 'normal'.

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you might try seeing if there is a therapist whom your son could talk to- obviously he has a lot of fears and worries which he wont want to burden you with- i think that would be a very good way to go- give him a safe place to talk out what's on his mind. it will make him less traumatized by what you are going through, and you will be doing him a favor for the rest pf his life.
good luck

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I am a single parent - 5 daughters 11, 14, 15, 18 and 20. We are surviving - they give me a reason to fight fight fight. Their father was abusive and has threathened to go to the court for custody (I was granted full custody and he got to go to anger management). We have been on our own for 9 years - there is no way that he is going to get his hands on them - so I have to get better. Diagnosed Jan 2010 late stage but surgery went well and chemo doing its job! Hand in there - you are not alone. Counseling helps - girls were afraid to be scared in front of me because it might make me sad.

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