I'd rather be dead

You see my colostmy ruined my life as I know it. I live in a different city, recovering from diverticklitis(2010), a brain injury (2010),a stroke(2006)have no friends except for family. I have Hep C, I have clinical depression and PTSD. Lost my job I was forced to retire with 25 years service. Where does it end? It couldn't be much worse. I'd rather be dead. At least that's a way out of my death sentence. I tell everybody who has a choice "Dont do it".I am single and have been for 12 years now. Oh yeah, my boyfriend broke up with me because he just couldn't handle it. I knew there was a reason I wouldn't marry him. I didn't know it would be this!