Save 15% on Ostomysecrets with promo code SPRING

Those who say things that hurt with out knowing it

You know it is hard enough after having this surgery to coop and try to feel good about yourself. But it seems like when ever I turn on the radio or television there is some joke about people with colostomy's.
Like this morning I was listening to the radio and they were talking about pat downs at the airport. They said what is worse patting down soo and so or patting down a old women with a colostomy. That hurt more than I thought it would. Most things I can usually let slide but these I can't seem to. Makes me feel even more discusting. I thought for a second to write to them and tell them how mean they are but than I thought what good would that do.

How to get past this stuff? That is my question for the day.

Thank you all

Report post

34 replies. Join the discussion


These are 'fools' [ Proverb 29:11: A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.] who
have no compassion nor understanding and are not 'worthy' of your concern!!

You are on a site where fellow ostomates are compassionate, understanding and reach out to hurting ostomy
folks! There will 'always' be the ignorant who 'poke' fun at the misfortunate of this world!!

These antagonistic, 'buffoons' make stupid remarks and 'hide' in their radio studios behind their microphones!

They are all 'high and mighty' until........ life deals them a 'Knock Out' Blow and now they are the ones who crave understanding and compassion from the very people they mocked!!

The expression : 'What goes around comes around! You 'reap what you sow' will one day come knocking on 'their' door!

Don't waste your precious time listening to these 'radio rejects'! Rise up and thank God you are 'alive' due to
your colostomy, kick the Devil in the face and carry on living your life to it's fulness!!

Join a local ostomy support group where you live. You'll meet people who are on the same journey as you, I
and 'thousands upon thousands of other ostomates that are, have been and 'will be' in the future!

I hope I have helped you and encouraged you!

God Bless,

Report post

Amen, I agree

Report post

Hi Ridgeruner,

I 'Amen' to your 'Amen'! LOL! :^}

God Bless,

Report post

Don't take any notice of ill-informed ignorant people. Feel good about yourself, you are still the same person as before your surgery.
You are better off with a colostomy or a an ilostomy. The alternative is not so good.

Report post


Sorry you are dealing the insensitivity of radio and tv. I have never seen nor heard anything like this happening before.
You are so very young and should feel much better about yourself.. not only physically, but emotionally and metally.

I'm sure your friends are supportive, yes?

Let it go.. there are ignorant people everywhere. They can't help themselves... turn the other cheek.


Report post

You know, there is no cure for stupid. These people aren't worthy of your concern. The only thing you can do is forget about it. If you hold on to it, they are in control. Don't give them that. You are better than that. Keep that chin up and know you are loved here.

Report post

Alan, very well put. To add something, I would say dont listen to that radio station any longer. Sending a note to the station to let them know why is not a bad idea. Remember to make it a note that is filled with compassion rather than anger, so they will be more likely to listen.


Report post

People are cruel and ignorance fuels their cruelty. It is so hard when you have an issue that is personal to you and the world around you keeps on going--from losing a loved one to losing a part of your healthy self. Give yourself time to grieve this loss, and I believe you will get stronger in mind and spirit.

Report post

Don't worry about the ignorance of others. Just continue to vast in Gods Grace and Glory. You are not alone. We are here to support each other. God will take care of it all.

Report post

Please don't let others ignorance ruin your day. You are a whole human being who deserves dignity and compassion just like all other humans on this planet whether they have an ostomy or not.
Let the radio station know how you feel and why you (and hopefully others) will never listen to that station again. I would imagine that you were not the only one "stung" by that terrible joke.
Tomorrow, Saturday is world ostomy day. Celebrate life!

Report post

I will celebrate life after my surgery for as long as I have left on this planet. I am so grateful for the ability of the medical field to know how to do all these surgeries. My surgeon told me she wanted to give me my life back. And she did.
If only I could give everybody who is struggling with their ostomies my positive outlook. It's in spite of my ileostomy. It has become no more than just something I have to do like brushing my teeth. I know it's there and that's about it.

Report post

Dear JRo12, I think we have been enabled now to feel an inkling of the hurt of discrimination. Discrimination is the ultimate in both ignorance and fear (synonimous with STUPID). About 8 years ago, I was listening to my favorite country radio station, in Wichita. Kansas. After a certain song, the dj, out of the blue, made an outrageous racially-biased statement. I was shocked. I changed stations and vowed to never listen to them again. I thought many times about writing them, and so wish I had. To this day, I refuse to listen. Just one person I am, so their lives go on as usual. I try very hard to feel PITY for them, instead of anger. Like Joe said, we will reap what we sow. My ileostomy, and other health conditions, have taught me just who my friends are, as well as family members who will always be there for me. I spent many weeks in the hospital, and my oldest sister, once my dearest friend, refused to visit. She told my other siblings she "couldn't handle it". It really hurt, but I decided that she is handi-capped as well-with fear. I always say to myself that I have so many questions for God, when I reach heaven's gate! But those questions will melt away, when I am in His presence, and we will be perfect again, as He has promised!

Report post

Beautifully written, Amt52. All we can do is pray for the idiots who are steeped in fear and ignorance.

Report post

Hi amt52,

Very well said!!

Its people like you, Alan, Mary, Chriswife and a host of others
on the 'Inspire' site that keep me strong in my Faith, appreciating
my family so much more and the ability to 'reach' with Christ's Hand,
even those who are ignorant, scared and some times 'mock' the
the afflicted, infirmed and disabled!

JRo12, I pray you stay strong in serving God and let God work in
removing the memory of those hurtful words that cut you so deep!

Remember this, ' People attack what they don't understand and don't
want to understand' !

Your Buddy,


Report post

You are not an ostomy. You are a valuable human being w/ capabilities to rise about ignorance. It doesn't matter what misinformed people say. An ostomy is no different than a kid having tubes in their ears. It is just a medically created alternative to drain body fluids and/or waste. Who cares! I proudly tell people about my experience as a way to educated those who need to be educated and those who want to be educated. I am a nurse, so I may be somewhat more comfortable w/ talking about my colostomy that Joe public. But honestly, I feel more of a person for having a colostomy that I did before my surgery when I spent half my day in the bathroom and the other half thinking I needed to go to the bathroom. When you need encoragement, come here and you will find it. Also, remember a talk w/ God about your feelings is always a good move. Hang in there!

Report post

Joe-R so close to JRo...

You have great words of wisdom and I thank you. Unfortunately I cannot find any support groups in my area so you guy's are all I have right now and I count my blessings for that.

Every one on this sight is just so wonderful and understanding and on top of all of that unjudgemental. It means so much when going thru so much.

Again thank for you response it means the world to me, because right now I am not doing to well mentally and physically with the new ostomy and I have many fears. Me and my parents are on the out and my brothers have their own familys. My friends have their own familys so it is just me. Which brings me to another discussion actually. I am really trully alone and do not know where to go. Work performence is horrible not understanding why my work is so poorly performed right now, because my weight is more than half of what it should be, I can't eat at all, and I have an abcess still bleeding like crazy. I will be losing my job because of this damn disease. My performance was horrible because I was so sick before the surgery, and my hope was that after the surgery I would suddenly become this new rejuvinated person and my work would suddenly be at 100% and on my way to President huh? Well now I am 50 lbs less, can't eat, and am so depressed I don't know what to do with my self,so again my performance at work is horrendous. They will be lettin me go soon and can I blame them. It's a business, it is not their fault I am so sick. Sorry everyone I went off track but it might give you some insight as to what I am goin thru right now. You know they say God will never give you more than you can handle, but I swear there is a breaking point. Surgery, losing job, in debt because of the surgery and no family and friends. What does one do? Live under a bridge? I don't think I would find my supplies under there though ; - ) I am Sorry everyone but I am scared and lonley and do not know what to do or where to go. I think I might just take this paragraph and start a new post so don't be surprised if you see this again.

All my love

Report post

Hi Kerry,

That is my plan. Kill them with kindness right? I just want them to stop so that it doesn' t possibly hurt others out there who have a colostom/illeostomy. It is hard enough for us much less putting flame on the fire.

Thanks for your comment!

Report post

By the way Joe-R you wouldn't happen to live in Wisconsin do you? Always looking for a new friend in my area.

Report post

JR, I'm so sorry you are having so much trouble. I know how hard it is to feel so alone. I am alone, too. My parents are dead, my daughter lives in Memphis, my brother hasn't spoken to me for eight years. But I have two things, well, actually three. This site, my church, a cousin who loves me and I can depend on. Might I suggest church for an outlet? Mine is filled with wonderful people who have supported me ever since I joined last Christmas Day. May, if you don't go, you could find one with people who are as warm and sincere as mine.

I also know what it feels like to worry about my job. I lost mine, was forced to retire, August 15, 2008. I lost everything. My job, my home, my savings, had to file bankruptcy. But I survived primarily because of my faith in a God who loves me and leads me every step of my way.

I hope things improve for you. We are always here for you.


Report post

Hey JRo12,

What the 'heck' is going on??!!

A very good and close friend of mine on Inspire' e mailed me
today, on something that is really confusing us!

Can you please explain to me and every one else who has
reached out and tried to comfort you on this post , the following??!!

Your Profile says you are ' 15 ' years old !!!!!!

But here on another 'Group' you have joined - 'Alcohol Abuse '
the Discussion you started - ' My struggle with alcohol ', you
state that 'You' have been drinking and that you are, and have been
an alcoholic for ...... ' 41 ' years !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How can you be a ' 15 ' year old female and have been drinking for ' 41 ' years??!!

What's up with that??!!

Check it out!! Your recent Discussion that you 'started':
___________________________________________________________________________ __________

By JRo12· September 21, 2012 at 3:19 pm · 3 replies
In My struggle with alcohol
RecommendUnrecommendProcessing ... Follow repliesStop followingProcessing ... Problem
More options
More options:
Shared with the public
Hello All!

I have been drinking since I don't know when. I got really sick and thought well that must help me stop, but no. Then I got really really sick, surgery and all and I thought that must help me stop, but no.

I know of all the outlits, AA, yada yada. I have lost my job, my freinds and my family. You would think I would stop, but no.

I guess the hardest thing for me to do is being active with out it. Don't know how to do it after 41 years. I don't know how to just take a walk, to just jump in the car and take a drive, to just visit my friends and family with out drinking.

My hideaway is my home. I could be here for days dead and no one would know.

Anyone with this extended type of situation that found themselves out of it would love to hear how you did it.

Thanks and God Bless

Report post

This discussion is closed to replies. We close all discussions after 90 days.

If there's something you'd like to discuss, click below to start a new discussion.

Free Ostomy Samples

Things you can do

Discussion topics

Live with confidence

Image of ostomy brochures

Learn about ostomy, stoma care, selecting a pouching system, and more in ConvaTec's guides to living with confidence after ostomy surgery:

Great Comebacks on YouTube

Ostomy resources

Learn about a free resource for your ostomy needs

Great Comebacks e-mail newsletter

Community leaders