I feel like I'm being buried alive --
Youngest son took his own life, Father's Day 2005; from then on I have had 10 plus surgeries; October 26th was my oldest son's 40th birthday - he attempted suicide for the 4th time and now is an inpatient; October 27th I finally had my appointment with one of the top GI doctors only to be told that he is not able to help me. I was told that I was not a candidate for Humara or any of the other drugs as they effect the immune system and due to all the surgeries that I have had the drugs could be fatal.
I have no family, my husband (a functual alcoholic) speaks only if it is absolutely necessary and the very few friends I have are involved in their own lives. I cannot remember the last time I had someone give me a genuine from the heart hug.
I don't get any restful sleep as I am up at least 3 times to empty.
My pain level is off the charts, it's extremely high after eating, the minute food gets into the small intestine I will cramp up to the point that all I want to do is curl up into a ball and hide in a corner. I try to take as little medication as I can however my son still considers me a drug abuser. My husband drinks nothing but beer all day long. He even packs a small cooler for his beer if he is going to be away from the house for more than an hour. He went to the hospital to see our son and one of the nurses remarked about his smelling of beer. I tried talking to him about it since it directly relates to my son's recovery but he wasn't having any of it and has pulled even further away.
Please say an extra prayer.