One year ago yesterday my life changed. I had my annual colonoscopy done by my endologist that had always done them for the past 20 plus years.
But, for some reason I had a funny feeling that something was wrong, even before my doctor did the procedure. I told myself "Stop worrying. Everything is going to be ok. It always is ok". But it was not ok.
When my doctor came into my post op room his face said it all. My words to him was "It's time for me to have the bag isn't doc". His response was " I am sorry to tell you my dear, but yes its time". I always knew this day was going to come, but still my world came crashing down all around me. My doctor told me my options and not to make a dission right away.
Needless to say I was scared and cried just thinking about it.
That weekend I was rushed into the hospital from a flare up that occured after the procedure. I recall crying and saying "Please, Please don't do the surgery right now. I am not ready." My doctor told me he was not going to have them do it. He told me " I gave you my word of letting you think about it. And I know you haven't." Surgery was not done that weekend.
For one week I lived with not knowing if I should have the surgery or not.
Then that next Sunday morning I was flipping the TV channels and Joel Olstine was on. I nomally do not watch his ministry shows, but for some reason that day I did. I recall what he said " God does not give you hardships so you can fail. HE gives you hardships so you can Prevail." At that moment I felt a calm come over me, and I knew I needed to do the surgery.
I told my doctor I was going to have the surgery. He sent to a wonderful surgeon that assured me everything was going to be fine.
Ileostomy surgery was done January 26, 2012.
Am I glad to have the surgery? You can say yes sometime. I am still learning what appliance works for me and which ones don't. I am greatful for my family helping me with this and the wonderful Ostomy Nurses and my wonderful surgeon that are always there when I have a question or two. I am greatful for this chat group, and all of you and knowing I am not alone. And if I have a question and don't get an answer from my doctor or nurse, someone here may have the answer for me.