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Help me, I just want to die!

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I fell in 06 after my mother passed away, down 1 step. I had a compound fracture of my right wrist and a fractured tibia and 5 or 6 bones in my foot. In 07 I walked out of the building where my son takes guitar lessons and twisted my left foot and had broken my tibia. I was seeing a doctor at the time and asked, isn't it strange at how I just seem to be breaking bones. I used to work out doing karate but could no longer jump or punch without having pain. I gained weight. I switched doctors and this one was taking my history and ordered a dexascan. He said no news is good news so I'll only call if something is wrong. I didn't get a call until an hour ago and he wants to see me on Wed. I am scared out of my mind. I am the sole provider for my children. I am an LPN and have to lift and pull people. I am devastated to say the least. I'm scared. I cannot live on disability. I want this to go away.

22 replies

slansing,

i second what you say about stress and ACCEPTANCE...two biggies in my book. the acceptance is what i struggle with every day. some days are better than others...but progressively there are more good than bad.

age: 45
hips -2.6
vertebrae -3.4
menopause at 37
reclast in march, '09
began HRT bio identicals may, '09
calcium 12-15,000mg and D3 3-10,000iu

You've gotten lots of great input here. One thing I noticed is that putting your kids through college may not be a realistic goal under the circumstances. That doesn't mean they have to give up college, but only that they may have to pick up more of the responsibility for getting themselves there. This is not a bad thing! It's just "what's so", and successfully putting themselves through college will have a powerfully positive affect throughout their lives. Ask any truly independent person!

LESS STRESS is one of the most important things you can do for yourself so you can take care of your kids. ACCEPTANCE seems like the hardest thing, but is actually the easiest thing IF you adjust your expectations.

Tricialrose,
Don't let it get you down. I have two young children and a beautiful wife and they are all scarred and doing anything they can to help me. I have not taken any hard falls yet but am wary they are coming. I tell myself every day If I had to see my Dad going out I would want him to be fighting the whole way. Henceforth- I'll fight as if each day were my last as my wife and kids deserve that much from me. When I finally realized how much of this my kids were soaking in at ages 8 & 10 I realized the memory they have of me when I go will be whatever memory I start leaving them with today and forever. We can still control this with god and family. I Promise:) Keep your head up andforget the feeling of giving up as it just bleeds to those around you( a lesson taught to me by my children just last week). You will always be in control as long as you tell your disesase tour better than it. Believe in yourself and your family nothing else matters:) ----Krajr427

Dear Tricialrose,

Indeed I am quite saddened to read your story.

How careful we must all be while moving about! I have often wondered why people look straight ahead while walking instead of looking downwards at their feet to check for potholes on the road.

Many people fall while conversing with each other and not looking at the road. This happened to me. Since then I walk while I watch my toes every now and then. Luckily I didnt fracture any bones -- but a friend is now in hospital with a fractured hip and has had surgery and has been told that he will be in bed for almost a year!!

So I guess when we look at the greater misery in the world around us it lessens our own somewhat.

I would suggest taking Vitamin C as well as Vit D along with Calcium as I believe these are overlooked, and maybe Vit C helps in healing while Vit D helps in Calcium absorption.

If good wishes and prayers alone could help, then let me assure you that mine are with you, and I wish you a speedy recovery and good health and a long life.

Yours,
Priya

Dear Tricialrose,
Ever since I read your first message, titled; "Help Me, I just want to die!", I felt your pain. Not really knowing what to say to you for encouragement, I went on with my research, wondering what was the best course of action for my osteoporosis.

In Jan. I started reading the Bible because it has always been a goal of mine to say I have read the greatest book ever written. Today I read a passage that really hit me & I thought of you. You are not alone in feeling this way. I have been there too. The following is from John 12:1-26; He who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. If anyone serves Me, let him follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also. If anyone serves Me, him My Father will honor.

You have a wonderful family & many good things to look forward to. The Lord only gives you what you can handle. Lean on Him.

Hi Gennie,
Your message was very informative & helpful. I was just wondering about the "rubber band & weights". Could you be a little more specific as to how this is done. Thanks!

It's better to know what is wrong so you can do something about it. There is always someone with a worse situation. That doesn't give solace but you should know that life comes with challenges and we deal with them. I hope that your visit with the doctor is a positive one. I have a friend who stepped off from a curb and broke some bones in her foot. Her bones are just fine, no osteoporosis. I hope this is all coincidence for you.

Dear TricialRose,
You have to have more faith in God than anything. I always take my questions to Jesus in prayer.

it's hard to go from 110 to 0 in one day...i was just finishing 200 level yoga teacher training when i suddenly began breaking bones (2 ribs, 2 vetebrae and my shoulder). i've never broken a bone in my life. i run a farm and heat with wood. i also had two very active large dogs and horses. i've re homed one dog. but i felt like i wanted to die...i was in the best shape i'd been in, in a very long time.

now i've gained a good deal of weight (my doc would be happy, not me) and i can't deal with stress with out large amounts of full out exercising...this walking won't do it for me.

so i feel your frustration! but after i absorbed the shock i began researching again and discovered quite a bit of challenging work that i could do. pilates offers much that is safe for the spine (my main concern) and continues to stimulate the bones by contracting the large muscles. i went through amazon and other sites googling osteoporosis and exercise. i looked around the gym and practiced some acceptance. i took an infusion of reclast and began hormones two weeks ago. they'll recheck in september, so fingers crossed.

but i'm a big believer that if you first have some acceptance about a situation then believe and visualise that you will be well...i'm not all new agey...just that i think it helps...can't hurt. our minds, hearts and souls are powerful medicine.

i hope you find some comfort here...i think you'll "rebound" at some point....i do.

One board state it indicates osteopenia, another, I believe he said it was an "arthritis" group indicates it's osteoporosis.

'Really', you have to be careful with dogs. A sudden dash on the part of my dog, especially with her lead caught around my legs would probably break them. So I am super careful about things like that.
Just taking calcium is not enough, you need to include other minerals and vitamins, including Vit K and Vitamin D. Have you heard of strontium? Why not try that too. I can recommend a good homeopathic remedy for broken bones called 'Symphytum'. Good luck to all of you.

I would see another doctor...your T scores only indicate osteopenia. If you have had broken bones, Actenol might not be a good option for you. I tried it for 2 months and had to quit as it cause extreme pain in my bones...especially the ones that had been previously broken. I was crippled and had to use a cane during that 2 months.

I went to my appointment and my T Scores were 2.4,2.3 and 2.2. He gave me a script for Actinel. I went for lab work but I don't think he ordered a vitamin D level. I haven't gone through menopause yet. He basically told me I just have to be careful. I told him my right hip has been killing me to the point where I am limping, which is the reason that I went to him in the first place. That dexascan only looked at my left hip. I seriously think I have a fracture. I walked around on my left tibia for 2 weeks before the doctor finally x rayed it and then was shocked. He ordered an x ray of my right hip. I guess my days of jumping from airplanes are over but what about horseback riding? I stopped riding the motorcycle with my husband last year when I broke my L leg and foot and I still take our quad through the woods especially in the winter, it's beautiful. The doc said no more quad. Does anyone know some exercises to strengthen the muscles surrounding my spine? I have two patients that I care for and one is a 13 year old boy who cannot stand. He crawls but cannot follow directions. I lift him for his baths and to get him in his wheelchair or bike, then I lift him out, it's a garden tub, so it's deep, and carry him to where I dry him off and dress him and then carry him to bed. He only weights about 68 pounds but it's dead weight. I'm with him every other weekend for 14 hours a day and then every Friday. I also have a quadriplegic woman who is in her 60's that I care for 2 days a week but she has a hoyer lift and just needs to be turned and repositioned while in bed. I work the 3-11pm shift with her. She weighs at least 200 pounds. I need some strengthening exercises as I cannot afford to stop working. My 17 year old is driving and is a junior this year planning on attending college after senior year, and my 16 year old, who has cerebral palsy, very mild thank God, is musically gifted and plays every musical instrument by ear but he gets lessons for guitar, drums and piano. He's a sophomore and will be driving in August and I need to get him a car and he plans on attending college to pursue being a music teacher. I was told to collect social security by my doctor but I can't afford that! He's nuts.

Just wondering how your Dr appt went. Are you ok?

There is a lot of good advice here. However, I would also recommend you check your blood vitamin D level. If you are deficient, as 4 in 5 people are, you will not absorb calcium to a sufficient degree. We need a blood level of 32 ng/ml to absorb maximal calcium.

I would recommend you ask your doctor to check your Vitamin D 25-OH. Most people will need 1,000-2,000 IU of vitamin D3 daily to reach optimal levels.

I am a big believer in the holistic route. I would appreciate any information that you can give me. I'm just very concerned about my job and how this will effect me making a living that can put my boys through college and all of the expenses that go along with it. It still has me scared to death but the doctor wants to meet with me at 2pm tomorrow and talk about my blood work and my scan and my options. Thank you all so much for your advice. I am so lucky I happened upon this site.

My daughter is 40, a single parent and with chronic disease and like your case that sucks. I have two defective heart valves and two incurable diseases one of which caused my osteoporosis - Celiac Disease the number one cause in men.
If you do have osteoporosis there is life after it. It is a cautious way of living but I am old guy so it fits right in.

Dear Tricialrose,
I'm sorry to hear of your troubles. I was an RN before disability. I have other med probs contributing but would have not been able to continue living had I not taken Forteo. It scared me to take it but I had no other options and was breaking ribs just by coughing or sneezing. I got compression fractures in my back and broke 4 ribs in a fall before I knew I had osteo. Your children do need you but you need to take care of yourself first or you will not be able to help them. My sons took my illness 2 different ways. One was and is very helpful and the other actually got angry and started acting out, which made it very difficult for me. My sons are of the age they can be helpful and was actually good for them that I taught them to cook and to do laundry. Those are skills they can help with if they are old enough and they can be more self reliant in life. That's not a bad thing. It's all a learning experience and life does go on. Honestly, it was nice that your Dr called you to take time with you. If you go thru this site, so many have encountered much less than that with their Drs. You feel weak now, but you will grow stronger in your experience.
Take care

Hi Tricialrose,

You are a nurse. Nurses are angels who help so many people in need. Now, you must help yourself, and be there for you lovable sons. They need you, to help them go to college and be there to celebrate their graduations!

When you have a moment, please click onto the link below for a quick calculation, using the fracture risk assessment tool. The algorithm will take account of your previous fracture, age, and many parameters. When you select the calculation tool, select UK, instead of US. Then, it will plot your results nicely onto the NOGG (National Osteoporosis Guideline Group) graph.

http://www.shef.ac.uk/FRAX/index.htm

I hope that you will feel better after understanding your FRAX. I certainly did.

Take care of yourself,

Sylvia

There ARE ways, fortunately, to prevent breaking bones without taking the expensive pharmaceutical drugs whose main benefit seems to be to make the physicians who prescribe them and the pharmaceutical companies wealthy. My husband is a holistic M.D. When I was first diagnosed with severe osteoporosis, he agreed to my taking the pharmaceuticals. I have taken Zomata, Forteo and now two Reclast IV's. I had such a BAD reaction -- that still lingers 8 months after the IV-- that I refuse to take any more of the pharmaceutical drugs. Instead, I have a life style now that supports good health -- period.

I eat plenty of fruits and vegetables, protein, mainly fish and chicken, take supplemental minerals and vitamins (I know a combination made also by a holistic physician that includes most of what you need in A.M. and a P.M. doses. I will be happy to supply you with the name. Just taking calcium is not enough!) I also walk 50-60 minutes a day and work out with a rubber band and weights. First I hired a private coach to teach me exercises to make the muscles around my bones strong. Then, when I consulted an internist who specializes in osteoporosis (and who put me on the pharmaceuticals), his PT taught me more exercises. I do them several times a week. Incidentally, I am 76 years old.

I also believe that attidue is important -- to overall health, not just to strong bones. I can either keep my mind on my many problems and weaknesses or count my blessings -- and I have many.

Stay active. Stay involved. Make a difference in your community.

Consult the blog otiswoodardmd.typepad.com. He gives recommendations on many things, including vitamins and minerals, that I think you will find helpful.

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OsteoporosisNOF: Download NOF's new brochure Hormones and Healthy Bones @ http://bit.ly/3Yg7tq

OsteoporosisNOF: NOF's CFC information: CFC #:11043; Osteoporosis Foundation, National

OsteoporosisNOF: NOF announces the launch of their Combined Federal Campaign (CFC). Visit www.nof.org.

OsteoporosisNOF: Need information on osteoporosis? Visit NOF's Web site at www.nof.org or email request@nof.org. NOF can send you free educational materials.

OsteoporosisNOF: Volunteer to start an NOF support group to help yourself and others with osteoporosis in your community. Call (800) 231-4222 to learn more.

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