I guess it's just that no one likes to here when someone is not feeling well. I have tried to take with my family and close friends, but they seem to just shun me. At times they act like they cant hear me and just stay quiet. It feels so hard to be this alone. I had stopped crying over having CIN1 but now I'm so depressed. I guess if they don't hear about how tired I am or how I don't feel well on somedays it isn't real for them. But it is real and now I feel so alienated and alone. The only two people who listen is my husband to be and my oncol. I guess one knows who will stay in your life forever once you get sick or just don't feel well. I'm really down and I guess I just miss the conversations we used to have. Now I'm the last to know things and get "oh I know you didn't want to come so we didn't think we should mention it". So that is that. Not only do I have to try to get myself back on track and try to forget that I have CIN1 and just pray that it will go away and not progress, but with all the stress of everyday life and now battling depression I don't know how much more I can take.