Nothing to do with my health, but I am STRESSED OUT!

I really need to vent. My boyfriend and I have been together over four years, and known each other for eight. We've always had our ups and downs as any relationship does.

Things got really stressful when my health starting acting up a few months ago. I know it's not easy for him to deal with me crying all the time and being extra irritable. But I want to scream at him sometimes "IT'S MY BODY GOING THROUGH THIS, NOT YOURS!!"

So, I've been doing what I can to keep my hormonal mood swings under control.... until Christmas. He elected not to go to my family XMas with my dad's side of the family, just because he was in a bad mood. On Xmas Eve, he didn't go to my mom's side of the family either. He has never met my grandma, aunts, uncles, cousins.... I try to overlook it, but it's really starting to get to me. I just don't know how to address the issue. Usually when I vent concerns, he just goes in the bedroom and closes the door.

For New Years, he had a great idea that we should spend the long weekend in Traverse City (about 3 hrs from home). My dad and stepmom, my sister, her husband and their brood of kids are all up there visiting. I also have other members of my family that live up there. Now that I'm all excited and can't wait to go, I think he's gonna bail again.

This is bad enough until I was on the web the other night and noticed that he visited like 12 different adult websites. Not to mention Craig's List and some other website that could be a dating website. I need to do more investigating, but I don't know how to handle this.

I've been cheated on by every man I have ever been with. The thought that he could be just like the rest is driving me nuts. I'm trying to tell myself that I'm just jumping to conclusions, but I'm having a hard time with that.

I don't know what to do...... HELP!