My first outing after diagnosis

So, the Church was having a Fall Festival and I had promised the kids we would go and they could wear their costumes. My husband gave me words of encouragement and promised me we could leave if I felt overwhelmed. I knew everyone knew I had cancer but was not sure if I could bear to have everyone hugging me and expressing their well wishes. I wanted to hear them but it seemed this would just make this all the more real. I had felt like there was a 50 pound weight on my chest or a vice squeezing me so I could not breathe. It had been that way since Wed. when the doctor said, "invasive cancer." Breathing was hard, getting up was hard, and now I was about to enter my Church, the place I grew up in, Gods house but I was still terrified. We walked in and I reminded myself to "breathe, just breathe." In and out...Here they came, all my friends, my church family. Arms wrapping around me and holding me. Love and prayers being wished upon me. It made my heart skip a beat. Needless to say, I wanted to run out of there a few times but their love and genuine support kept me moving forward through the crowds. I was able to say cancer and not hyperventilate. I enjoyed watching my shoeless child bounce around. I enjoyed the wind whipping through my hair. I enjoyed visiting with others. One lady came up to me and said, "Well, this just sucks." She was referring to my cancer. I thanked her for that raw honest truth that she spoke. "IT DOES SUCK", I said. Then I asked her if she had had her yearly well-woman exam and pap yet....