Terminal Cancer

My Mom was diagnosed with Terminal cervical cancer. She was given 6-8 months to live.
I am not sure if I am posting this in the right area but I was looking for help.
I was wondering if someone could point me in the right direction for info in this area. I am looking to educate and prepare myself on what might happen near the end. I am sorry to post such a sad subject. I am also very interested in speaking with ones who lost there loved one to cervical cancer.
Thank you in advance.
Sueg

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30 replies. Join the discussion

Sueg:
I am so sorry to hear about your mother. You are a very caring daughter.
The American Cancer Society has a really good website & has answers for most of your questions about cancer & caregivers. Their web address is: http://www.cancer.org/docroot/home/index.asp.
Their cervical cancer web address is: http://www.cancer.org/docroot/lrn/lrn_0.asp.
You can free booklets on most of the subjects from the American Cancer Society. There is also information about clinical trials that you might want to check out.
I was also given these websites the other day:
The Mayo Clinic: http://mayoclinic.com/health/cervical-cancer/DS00167
Empowerher: http://www.empowher.com/
WEBMD: http://www.webmd.com/
You & your family will be in my thoughts & prayers.

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im really sorry.

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Great info thanks for helping me.

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i'm really sorry to hear about your mother's diagnosis. i hope that she's not in pain. one thing you may want to consider is getting in touch with hospice care....they offer a whole range of services, which also vary during the process your mother is going through, depending upon her needs. please also reach out to get emotional help for yourself and your family members.

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Try this website too -

oncolink.org

GREAT cancer information.

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You can call Rachel at the National Cervical Cancer Coalition (NCCC) www.nccc-online.org and she can send you info. FREE of charge.

NCCC

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Great idea. Thanks!

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I don't believe in expiration dates. Which is mostly one of the reasons I choose treatment at the Cancer Treatment Centers of America AZ location. I choose conventional treatment because of my early condition and my husbands insistence. If I was ever told I was terminal I would turn to the holistic, herbal and nutritional healing where my faith lies. Herbalist, Dr. Schulze's says that there are NO incurable diseases. My personal research has led me to believe this and to favor natural healing. If conventional treatment is at the end of what they can do your Mother she might want to consider natural healing. Cancer treatment is cruel and inhumane and I don't ever want to go through it again. I am now heading back to alternative healing.

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Can you give me some suggestions or ideas of some herbal remedies?
Sueg

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I am very sorry to hear this, Sue. I want you to tell your Mom not to give up, or to let "them" dictate how much time she has. If I listened to my Radiation oncologist, I should have been gone back in june. I am still going strong.
Nobody can tell you how much time you have. There is only One who knows that.
I encourage you and your family to get some support, because this is a very difficult thing for all involved. The others have given you excellent information. Please try and get your Mom into a good naturopath, or Traditional Chinese Medicine doctor. Everything works differently for different people, and I have found it to be a great help. I am not trying to give false hope, only offering suggestions that have helped me through this.
Creative visualization (by Shakti Gawain) and meditation coupled with breathing exercises have been shown to enhance immune response as well as help decrease pain and anxiety. The mind is very powerful. Something else to try.
I will pray for strength and healing for your Mom and the entire family.
Take very good care, and know that we are here anytime you need us.

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I was talking with a member of this community who lost his wife and she went alot faster than they thought she would. She was young with 2 kids had alot of things she wanted to do before hand. Some of them she didn't get to. But anyways, she made a household handbook, maybe if you know where all your mom's important paperwork and stuff like that is, account numbers, passwords, etc. That will make things easier. Also just make memories. If she's strong enough to get out and say look at Christmas windows get her in a wheelchair and go! Take lots of pics and do some videos they will be priceless later.

The hardest thing for this woman was the pain she was in during the last few weeks. She could feel her body shutting down.

I am so sorry you are going through this, just make the best of the time you have left!!!!!!!

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My mom died last year after 3 months of combined illnesses. Most people who are dying have a single day of seemingly "getting better" right before they die. This is good to know as you will know that the very end is quite near. I live overseas and my step dad called me to say my mom was suddenly clear of mind, happy etc. I had seen something on Internet about people being much better right before they died so I made arrangements to go home for 3 days hence. She died in two days. My step dad really did think she was getting better but I was pretty certain she wasn't and while he was shocked she suddenly died, I wasn't. Evidently this state dying people get into is cruel, false hope for loved ones. Also, it does not always happen but does with certain frequency. I just tell you this because not many people are aware of this phenomena and for you to make the most of this "lucid moment" if it comes and encourage the people dear to her to come "right then, right now"!

Also, maybe you could tape/video your mom talking about her life, childhood, saying your name, etc. I do not have my mom's voice recorded (only in my head) and would love to hear her voice at times.

It took me a good 12 months to stop crying from time to time about her death. Allow yourself ample time to cry, stomp and just miss her. But meanwhile, she is still here! My mom's death was "sudden" (went from not serious to progressively serious). You can enjoy being with her and love her intensely! And yes, I did visit her once for two weeks a month before she died but when my step dad thought she would go to a nursing home, however, I personally did think her body was shutting down. This is VERY hard to take. You try to feed her and she won't eat, etc. You need a strong external support (husband, partner, friend).

Telling you I am Sorry doesn't do anything. This is a personal journey and it is HARD! But, 19 months have gone by now, and I am optimistic about life again, happy, energetic, etc (I went to a psychologist for about 10 sessions just to talk until I felt I didn't need to go anymore). I think that my mom would not want to see me sad and unhappy but initially one has no control over this. You will get through this but it takes does take time!

A big BIG hug from far away and from someone who's mom was her very best friend and who lost her last year.

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Thank you so much to each one of you who have taken the time to reply to me.
Update: We took my Mom into the Oncologist today. They did an exam and said that they can not see or feel the tumor any more. But he ordered a full body pet scan to see what is going on in the body and the lymph nodes. I am very confused he just put in writing her life expectancy would be limited 6-8 months with out anymore treatment and we go in and see him and he don't see or feel the tumor anymore. I have a few bog questions. By not being able to see or feel it anymore is there still a possibility that the cancer is still right there in the region just not able to be felt? He never said cancer free at all just cant feel it. So I know only God knows when our time to go is but does that mean that maybe he might change her survival rates? It was in the lymph nodes in the abdomen and I think chest and possibly neck. Would it be all gone in the nodes from the chemo that we did???
Also in the beginning of this he had told us it was to bad to operate!!!! He also told us he could not remove any nodes. Now he talked as if there might be a possibility to remove nodes if the pet scan comes back positive. How could that change would it be because the tumor is shrunk or almost gone?
If anyone out that knows hard core facts I am looking for the truth I don't want things sugar coded as I can handle bad news just need to know what is going on.
What happens in the lymph nodes for a long time?
Sue

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I am still doing a lot of research. Right now, I am reading the booklet by Dr. Schulze
"There Are NO Incurable Diseases”
I think it can be purchased at Dr. Schulze's web site (try calling them). He also sells a Kit of Herbal Products called 'Incurables' at his web site. It involves commitment, buying a juicer and the supplements.
I really like him and have studied his work on the web site --- http://curezone.com/ He is a blood and guts type character who has deep passion for what he has learned. The program is vegan and involves Pure water "Distilled" or "Reverse Osmosis" treated waters, juicing, Fresh Oxygen, Enemas, Castor Oil Packs, Hot/Cold treatments etc and a Positive attitude!
This is a good review of the program:
http://healingtools.tripod.com/incurprog1.html
I am getting ready to do the program and will purchase a Vita Mix Blender, www.vita-mix.com -- I am still researching juicers but may go with this Omega Juicer
http://www.amazon.com/Omega-J8006-Nutrition-Commercial-Masticating/dp/B001L 7OIVI/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top
I have decided on this Reverse Osmois Water under the counter system
http://www.advancedwaterfilters.com/filter-products/tap-master-artesian-rev erse-osmosis-water-filtration-system.html
I have a lot of the Schulze products and love all of them.
I am also interested in Hallelujah Acres
www.hacres.com They have good juicing programs and lots of experience with cancer healing.

Hope these help you get more information to help-
There a many choices out there and I will pray you are led to the right one for the need.

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SueG, I am so VERY sorry for your mom's prognosis. I too am inoperable, incurable, terminal (take your pick: they call me all 3). You might consider speaking with hospice, in your state. Just GO there, and ask to speak to anyone regarding End of Life issues for Cervical cancer. They have LOTS of family support programs. In addition, her oncologist should be able to give you a tentative "time line" of what to expect. You're a strong woman to be able to face such a thing, and I hope it makes your mother's passing easier for you both. There are many drugs available to ease her pain, while YOU might benefit from an anti-anxiety med. Consider home health care, for awhile, so she's in the confort of her own home, and ask for your state's regs on Hospice care. MORE THAN ANYTHING, speak to your Mom! About what SHE wants, how SHE wants to go out, under what circumstances. Allow her the self-determination & the dignity to make her OWN life (and death) choices.

Again, I'm so sorry and I hope you find lots of answers & support on this forum. You are to be commended for searching out what you'll both need to know.

IN JOY,

Katz

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Hey Sue,

I lost my mum last year to Leukemia and my partner 5 days later to malignent melanoma. It is hard and very confusing to deal with from start to finish. My mum was given 6-8 weeks but survived for 1 and a half years, my partner only 10 months. To help understand what is going on you need to have left your mums consultant with a clear understanding of everything. Keep asking and repeating questions, and been said before ask for help from a local hopsice. They support the whole family, it's what they do.

As my mum and partner were passing, they were given a 'pathway', which was a self timed adminstered IV drug that stopped pain and anxiety. This helped them both immensly, and it was either this or physicaly and mentally let them suffer. The only shocker with this was one morning to find my mums speach had 'gone', although she was still quite bright. In the final week of my mums life, she was very comfortable in hospital with these drugs. And to know that was a great comfort as there was nothing else that could be done. My mum passed on peacefully early one morning.

My partner, had the same drug, and it basically knocked him out as he was so poorly. This was a great shame as I couldn't tell him how much i loved him. However, again he was not consiously suffering.

I had very wise advice from a ward sister when this was happening. I asked who should I stay with, Mum or my partner, (3 hours apart). The ward sister said, I should do the best I can, to be with both, as the time spent with them will not be given again, and I can heal after. This I did, and travelled between them both every day. I lived on baguettes and caffiene drinks. I think this was the best ever piece of advice I had been given and acted upon.

Mother nature can be extremely cruel, as I seem to be going down the cancer path myself now. It is going to be a very hard and possibly very traumatic time for you both. The more this can be lessened, by help of drugs, I think the better.

I'm sorry if this has come as a bit hard hitting to anyone, but I have seen and gone through every step of this - twice. This is my point of view and not everyone will agree with it, but I hope you can gain some direction from my experience to help keep the time left with your mum prescious.

I wish you and your mum all the luck and strength in the world. I really, really do. Please, please, please get some help and support. All my love, Noggs.xxx

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Noggs
I can't tell you how much I appreciate your post. I can tell you have taken the time from your heart to post to me. This is all so new and so scary.
My Mom seems to be a bit better as in holding her own right now so that makes it even more confussing.
Sue

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Hey Sue,

Unfortunately it is like that. What you need to do is focus on having good times when she is well, because there are going to be times when all she will want to do is sleep and not socialise. I would take my mum countless things everday to try and distract here, (magazines, little bottles of bubble bath), anything that was small and I could lay my hands on. And talk about anything. We could hold a conversation about a window for 1 hour, however there were times when she told me to shut up - you just haven't got to take it to heart. What I felt my mum needed, was an escape from the situation and chatting idle chat worked with her.

You are both also going to always to think, 'is this it?', at any situation. For example, my mum went all dizzy and believed it was in her brain and she would die in 15 minutes. It was actually and ear infection and cleared up in a couple of days. This is normal to feel this, and you will worry about everything. So it is important to rest and recharge, and try to keep a level head when this does. I always searched for a plausible explanation first. To re-charge - I would have a 'Lush' bath.

Alot of people/friends will also attempt to help which is cool. But I fell out with some, because it was all about 'them', and not my mum. I have never regretted this, and I have since regained freindship with these. Again, this may happen, but you can always mend a friendship. I went on gut instict and constantly asked nurses, doctors, consultants questions.

Hon, I really do not mean to go on and on and on, but I hope that what I say makes sense. Jump on your mums bed and give her a cuddle, I did! When she was well enough to come home, I did too. I done everything for her; open the window, shut the window, open the window, shut the window!!!!!!!

My mum was a very strong woman, she only cried once with this illness. I pray your mum is just as strong and brave, and this will give you the strength to carry each other through this time.

(PS your mum will worry about you too!!).

Sue, I hope things keep good for a while to give you and your mum a chance to enjoy your time together. Thinking of you lots, and my dad is too.

Keep strong hon, Noggs.xxx

Sorry for time delay, but I live in England!

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My mother died of colon cancer that metastasized to her liver and then her lymph system. It will be 8 years ago in Feb. She lived for 8 years from her initial diagnosis, about every 2 years something new would pop up, they would start a new treatment that would work for a couple years until something else came up. Once it got to her lymph system, they gave her 6 months or less and my mom, being the feisty personality that she was, lived 8. She always had to prove the doctors wrong. ; )

I know so much more about cancer and being healthy now than I did then. LIke Percyfaith, if I could do it over again with my mom, I would insist she explore some alternative treatment resources. Since I can't go back & share with her these resources, I can at least share them with you.

Here is a very informative natural/alternative cancer treatment/support group:
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/cancercured/?yguid=329415649. There are also many groups on Yahoo that deal with specific treatments, like Oleander & the Budwig diet. But this is a good general place to start.

Another good resource is Ralph Moss: http://www.cancerdecisions.com/

Also, Suzanne Somers just released a book about alternative cancer treatments & in it she lists several doctors in the US that are having success with various treatments: http://www.suzannesomers.com/Knockout/

Hope this helps! I'd be happy to lend an empathetic ear at any time...I know how difficult this is.

Best wishes!

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How long did she live once it got into the lymph nodes?
Thank you from the bottom of my heart to you adn each one of you taking hte time to help me. I iwll review all hte links each one of you have provided me.
Thank you
Sue

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