supporting my daughter

• By corellin
• Posted October 3, 2009 at 11:44 am
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Hi maggie -- I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter. I think the best place to start is to for your daughter to get copies of the medical record that would contain the diagnosis. It always helps to start by understanding exactly what's going on so that your daughter has the best information to make decisions.

I'm not sure what "level 4 HSIL is." HSIL is usually a pap result which corresponds to moderate or severe dysplasia -- which aren't cancer, but are "pre-cancer." A biopsy (taken at the time of a colposcopy) usually returns the result of CIN1 (mild), CIN2 (moderate) or CIN3 (severe/CIS). None of these results are cancer. Cancer is usually staged starting at 1, and the doctor wouldn't be recommending only a cone for Stage 4 cancer -- so it might help to better understand where she's at with the diagnosis.

It's great that you're going to the doctor with her, because it really helps to have a second set of ears to help understand/interpret what the doctor is saying, plus it's lucky she has you for the emotional support.

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• By BAR32
• Posted October 3, 2009 at 11:58 am
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Maggie, I am very sorry that you and your daughter are going thru this. I was diagnosed with cancer, also out of the blue, last year at 32. This is a very scary time for both of you.

My advice, and I cannot stress the importance of this enough, is to get your daughter in with a gyn- oncologist. I am assuming that her regular ob/gyn did the first pap and then the colposcopy and has scheduled the procedure for Oct. 14th? If that is the case, get in with an oncologist immediately, especially if her dr has said "it is def. cancer." THere is no time to waste, and if it is cancer, she will need to end up seeing an onc. anyway. Do it now, please, for your daughter. Her diagnosis, life and fertility need to be in the best hands possible.

Please feel free to send me a message if you would like to chat further.

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• By flowershoplady
• Posted October 3, 2009 at 2:45 pm
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i'm really sorry to hear about your daughter, and how great that you're there to support here. i echo corellin in encouraging you to get a copy of the medical records so you can better understand her diagnosis. and, if she has been diagnosed with cancer, then she needs to be treated by a gynecologic oncologist - she needs and deserves the best medical care, from the get go!

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• By indigo9
• Posted October 3, 2009 at 7:03 pm
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Hi Maggie, not much to contribute, but I wanted to let you know there are lots of us here who've been there if you or your daughter want to talk! I'm 24, and was diagnosed last year shortly after I turned 23. My parents also live very far from me, so I know how frustrating that can be. I had a cone biopsy, and the recovery was not bad at all. And it is a very helpful diagnostic tool! Please make sure she sees a gynecologic oncologist so she can get the best treatment possible!

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• By Nurkao
• Posted October 4, 2009 at 10:38 am
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Maggie:
I am so sorry to hear that your young daughter is going through this. My own daughter just turned 28 & I just couldn't imagine how difficult it would be to see either of my children go through a life threatening illness.
It is so nice of you to be there for her. That is what she needs right now: is your love & support.
I will be praying for you, your daughter & family.

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• By pkfoxx
• Posted October 5, 2009 at 12:37 pm
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I read a cancer society article years ago that said when someone is diagnosed with cancer, people close to them take on different roles. Perhaps one of your roles can be "researcher" (you're on the right track with Inspire).

1. Get copies of her Pap Smear and Colposcopy pathology reports. And HPV test if she had one; she may not have because if her Pap indicated HSIL, then it is a given she is HPV positive.
2. Get the book What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About HPV and Abnormal Pap Smears by Joel Palefsky, MD, which is widely available, even at libraries, and is an excellent reference for every diagnosis and every procedure your daughter may have.
3. Using the pathology reports, match the terminology used on them to the chart on page 28 of the book. This will give you a visual where your daughter's diagnosis is.

I know the doctor said cancer, but as previously discussed above, there is no such thing as level 4 HSIL. The doctor of a friend with her first abnormal Pap smear and colposcopy mentioned the word cancer to her - when I read the reports, she has HSIL/CIN III (severe dysplasia) - which is NOT cancer!

So arm yourself with more information on her diagnosis and I guarantee no matter what her diagnosis really is, you and she will feel better. Then research her next steps.

All the best to you and your daughter. We all relate to you on this website. By the way, if you determine that her pathology reports do not actually indicate cancer, I would consider changing doctors!

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• By pucca
• Posted October 6, 2009 at 12:46 pm
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Hi Maggie- I think it's outstanding what you are doing for your daughter with the distance factor. My mother lives 14 hours from me but still gives me support as if we were in the same house.

I agree with everyone here that you should obtain copies of her medical records to arm yourself (I use that term a lot) with results in order to make the best decisions.

Best of luck to you both and I hope everything goes will for your daughter!

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