Stigma of HPV

When I first learned I had HPV, although I didn't automatically know what it was, I felt dirty. It was much like the feelings I had when an ex had given me Chlamydia four or so years ago (actually, research suggests that having a prior STD makes a woman more susceptible to cervical issues etc). However, HPV is different than most STDs. I think I felt better about it once I learned that statistics suggested that many people will get it in their lifetime, and do not know it. I first tried to hide it and didn't talk about it. I was ashamed. However, I no longer hide it. I actually did a speech in my undergrad communications on it and my experience. I talk openly about it because people need to know the facts. What I hate is the fact that once people find out you have any STD they assume the worst; that you had many partners and were careless. I encountered this too many times to count when in actuality that wasn't my situation at all. People need to know that with HPV, you can get it in the most committed relationships; you are not immune to it just because you are married and it doesn't mean you are promiscuous. I learned that the hard way.

By PrincessRed
Posted April 10, 2009 at 2:54 pm
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Way to go girl....

Yep, heartbreak is the only way I know to best describe the inital reaction to hearing you have an STD. Because when you think about how your heart and head made choices with the best of intentions and the most hopeful of expectations, hearing that the outcome is HPV or cancer is an astounding paradox...

This is what helped me realize I couldn't possibly keep quite--the thought of other young women encountering the same sort of situation and not having anyone to turn to for answers/support.
It has also motivated me to get information out there to young girls before they make thier own decisions...if something I can relay from my experience of not knowing about HPV and it's related diseases might serve as a tool for them to make a more informed life-decision for themself, then I feel I'm doing my part to help beat this thing...

By meg09s
Posted April 10, 2009 at 2:57 pm
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Thank you! What a heart lifting response. You are so right in so many ways. It has motivated me, as well, but I have no idea of where to start. Besides telling my story to people I come by, I want to get involved in public policy regarding HPV and cervical cancer. I am still looking a way to do it.

By smurph602
Posted April 10, 2009 at 5:29 pm
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I agree with you. A lot of women don't want to talk about so most men have no idea what it is or that they can get it. I'm glad that you are speaking out. It's a shame that we, as women, didn't know enough about this before we contracted it. This is very important. This can cause cancer, it effects our well being. Other STD's are bad enough to our health but many of us have children and with this one some women get cancer. This should be a bigger issue that MD's are talking to us about before we contract it. And not one man that I have discussed this topic with had even heard of it. It is our job to let them know.
Thank you for taking a stand and being the stronger women.

By Su_silva
Posted April 10, 2009 at 11:38 pm
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I feel the same! when I say I have HPV, some people look at me thinking that I had slept with 1000 guys...
I'm a student and I write for the college newspaper and my next piece will be about cervical cancer and HPV, and I hope I will make people see that most woman have HPV even though they don't know it, and that it doesn't mean you're a whore, and that every woman should have a pap smear every year!

By meg09s
Posted April 13, 2009 at 2:48 pm
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Su-silva, that is a great way to get the word out especially on a college campus.

It's funny; this past weekend I saw the Gardasil commercial more times than ever. Is that a sign of what? I am totally for that vaccine, and wish it was around when I became sexually active. Although this might stir up a totally different convo, I think Gardasil should be on schools list of vaccines to be taken, allowing for special reasons for refusals. HPV, is not only sexually contacted, it's also skin to skin contact and what's the difference between measels or tb or whatever else kids are taking vaccines for before entering school??? Just an idea.

By MsPositivity
Posted April 15, 2009 at 11:56 am
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I am so happy we are talking about this. I just found out that I have HPV and I am scared as hell!!!! Only two people know and its my best friend, and ex boyfriend. I try no to be ashamed but its hard!
Right know I am going in for my second cryosurgery as I have moderate dysplasia... My mom knows of my condition but I have left out the part of contracting HPV and this is what got me the dysplasia in the first place!!!
How do I tell my mother??!! or any one else in my life.

I think its great you guys want to get out there and share your stories and if you hear of any opportunities to volunteer on this issue. Please let me know because I would love to participate and in some way give back

By Schnoodle
Posted May 7, 2009 at 8:40 pm
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I found out I was HVP positive 4 months ago. I am still not over the shock of it. I found out in the strangest way. Had a pap in January 2009. Had gone 4 years without one. I truly regret that. I just kept hearing well if you have normal paps you can go longer, then longer turned in longer, simply being a busy mom, wife and career women.

Anyhow, I had the pap and I noticed about 2 weeks later, my Dr's number was on my caller ID. No message was left and it was to late to call. I still didn't think anything of it. I thought they were simply calling to tell me all was ok. I really expected to hear that. I went to my office the next day, and decided to call. I was put on hold for what seemed like a long time. Then a nurse got on the phone and quickly said my pap was normal but my HVP test (didn't even know I had had one), came back show dysplasia. She spoke quickly and said I would need a biopsy, then possible surgery. My jaw was dropped. I am sure she said other things but it was all a blur. I told her I was at work and would call back.

I went to a private office to use my cell phone, and she explained a little more. That is when I returned home and literally spent hours into the night re-searching HVP and Dysplasia. I had no clue what these things were.

Here I am, happily married for 14.5 years, three kids, 44 years old, and now I find out I have a sexually transmitted disease? Are you kidding me?

I am so traumatized my the notion of it all, I think the HVP bothers me worse than my Cin III. I mean in the sense that if this were any other kind of illness, I could talk to my mom, my friends, maybe my co-workers. I have not spoken about this to anyone, except my husband. Even with him, I don't bring it up much. I now deal with this alone, utterly alone. When I had my Cold Knife Cone done in the hospital, I made up a different reason why I needed to be away 2 days.

I consider myself a strong women in many aspects, but not with this. I wish I could be. I wish I had someone to talk to other than faceless women on the internet. (don't take that the wrong way, I am greatful for everyone here), but I really cannot believe I am dealing with something like this , and I wonder if I will ever become normal again. How do you become normal again?

By jamiegirl
Posted May 7, 2009 at 10:52 pm
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Schoodle- We are the same age and married for about the same amount of time. I have 2 kids. I was in shock as well when I learned I had hr hpv in 2005. I had mild abnormal cells in 2007, which were removed by a LEEP last Dec. (they got it all), and my next gyno visit is in June. I'm a little nervous about it because I hope that everything is still ok.

I have found that the only people with whom I have spoken about this, aside from my husband, are my mom and my sister. I am so afraid to tell any of my friends because I don't want them to look at me differently. I do feel "dirty" at times, and I feel like I am the only one in my group of friends who has this.

I do speak with my husband about the hpv, although not on a regular basis - usually only if I have a dr. appointment, or if I want to try something new to combat it. He is supportive because he knows that obviously, he has it too. I wish I could talk about it with one of my friends but I can't bring my self to do it. I feel so alone when I think about it, but, I try not to. It's part of my everyday living and breathing life now, and I hate it. I just am thankful that I haven't had any kind of more complicated problems, and I hope I will never have to cross that bridge.

By chamomile
Posted May 8, 2009 at 12:17 am
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HPV is something that is very difficult to talk about and discuss. I can tell you that a very large percentage of women I know have had issues with hpv...some low risk and some high. My best friend's mom, my sister, my sister-in-law, several of my friends, my aunt, my aunt's daughter, several college friends, a co-worker and his wife...and so on and so on.....and these are just those that I happened to know well enough to talk about these things with. Still even with this, I still can't talk openly about the hpv issue when I discuss my cancer diagnosis. It's very difficult for a lot of reasons.

One thing that did make me feel a lot better, was a couple of medical professionals that I've known that have shared with me. Last year I was at a chiropractic appointment. I was having a lot of back pain due to stress from my cancer diagnosis. When my doc asked me what was going on in my life, I unexpectantly burst into tears when I started talking about it. As soon as I told him CC, he mentioned that an ex-girl friend of his had dealt with dysplasia and hpv. I was comforted b/c his disclosure of this was really an acknowledgement that he too was probably exposed and that he understood that it is not uncommon at all. When I saw my family doctor after my cancer diagnosis and first surgery , I obviously had to explain how my health had changed since my last visit. As soon as I told her (again I started to cry), she hugged me and told me that she had hpv and severe dysplasia before her son was born and that she had a LEEP and went on to have a child.

Just know that there are sooooo many others that have been affected by this in some way. They may not volunteer it to you, but you are NOT alone. Those that think they are immune, are just fooling themselves.

By Schnoodle
Posted May 20, 2009 at 7:06 pm
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Right now I just pray I become healthy again, and that I am one of many that just is cured of CIN. Funny how those initials sound. Thank you for all of your support and I certainly wish everyone the best.

By Jodi_ayn
Posted May 21, 2009 at 5:16 pm
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Just my 2 cents....I think Gardasil should be required for girls AND boys! Males may not get cervical cancer, but they continue to spread HPV, right? I love the idea of a required vaccine...but maybe even should be required before high school. My daughter just finished 7th grade and had a new vaccine (don't even remember what it was) that was required before entering that grade. I already got her the Gardasil series! :o)

Jodi

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