Hey everyone,i ned help advice the works,as u all know i been through the chemo and radition.",so my cevical cancer stage 3b left me unable to have kids so the doctors say,and i guess m body also so s sayin the same thing i have not had a period in 5 months should i face the facts that i cant have kids or should i hold on to the hopes of havin kids one day????? Tha MAIN thing i really need help s the fact that my boyfriend and i have been dating for 5 months and he thinks cause i told him i can have kids,,,i know its sad that i did that we have been tryin to make babys but its not working when or if at all should i tell him i cant make babys????? This hurts me so bad ,i know god loves me but why did i have to get cancer and it spread like crazy and really just ruin my life??? Iam only 25***** please help me out
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Should i tell him the truth???
- By Shawnpew
- Posted August 11, 2009 at 2:30 am · 6 replies
- In How my diagnosis changed my life
- Shared with the public
6 replies
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- By funkycervix
- Posted August 11, 2009 at 9:18 am
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Honesty is the best policy. You can't have a healthy relationship if you're hiding something that big from him. However, I don't want to give you false hope but I have heard of people having kids after cancer. Maybe you should go see a fertility specialist and just see what they have to say.
There's a great site called planet cancer. You should check it out!
- By Mrs-B
- Posted August 11, 2009 at 11:01 am
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I think you should not rush things, get your mind and body healthy. Grab a great attitude. I know of two girls personally, who were told they couldn't have kids, and did. 5 months seems like forever, but really isn't. Tell him the truth, you might not be able to have kids, but there is always hope...Isn't that what keeps us all going.. And if he is a great guy, he'll be there either way. I am new to the whole thing, but everyone keeps telling me 'to look out for me' right now. I think you would be amazed at how much better you would feel if you didn't have 'the lie'. And its not like the cancer was something you chose... And maybe when there isn't a lie, a miracle will happen, and you will get pg. Then you both get to share that... Good luck...And a big hug sqeeezee.. Deep Breath. and Just Do It!!!
- By its_my_goliath
- Posted August 11, 2009 at 4:58 pm
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What was your treatment. Are you talking about 3b cancer or dysplascia.
If you had 3b cancer and your treatment was radiation and chemo you will not be able to have children. Radiation fries the ovaries and they will not work anymore. Chemo also causes you to be sterile.
I would hope that you would have talked to your doc before hand about fertility issues and all that. Were you given the option to harvest eggs? That would have been your only option BEFORE treatment started.
- By flowershoplady
- Posted August 11, 2009 at 5:45 pm
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As itsmygoliath posted, the radiation and chemo would make you sterile, and I, too, hope your doctor thoroughly explained all this before your treatment, including options such as harvesting eggs. As for telling your boyfriend the truth, does he not know you had cancer? That should allow you to discuss the impact of the treatments on your body. I'm assuming you're having other side effects from the radiation (menopausal symptoms, intestinal impact, etc.). And, would you want him to lie to you about this sort of issue? I think the answer to that question will guide you to know whether or not you continue to lie to him. If you're considering a future with him, then you'll want to have honesty and sharing as part of your relationship, right?
- By its_my_goliath
- Posted August 11, 2009 at 8:49 pm
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I don't have any symptoms of having radiation or menopause other than not having a period, so maybe it's not apparant to her or anyone else.
And I agree honesty is the best policy!! You'd want him to be honest with you.
- By Shawnpew
- Posted August 11, 2009 at 9:06 pm
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Thanks that helps,,yes the docs told me no kids for me ..yes it was cancer 3b it was vry bad yes iam havin menopause symptoms. Hott flashes no periods i just wont let go the fact of havin no kids !! I will sit him down and tell him this weekend...
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