Recently tested positive for HPV

Here is my situation:

I have never tested positive for HPV or had an adnormal PAP before ( I am 28). I have alway tested negative for everything every time I went in for PAPs and STD screens.
My most recent boyfriend, whom I was with for 4 months, and I were sexually active. On New Years Eve he told me that he had unprotected sex with his ex wife.
I decided to go in and get tested. Three weeks later, I got the call that I tested positive for HPV and abnormal cells and needed a Colposcopy to determine what the next actiob should be.
After extensive research, I might add him and I had broken up before i got said results, that I needed to tell him. Not only for my peice of mind, his saftey but for his ex wifes as well.
He had mentioned to me before in passing that she in the past had had a cervical cancer scare. This leads me to believe that since I had tested negative every time before, that this possibly could have come from him and/or her. I understand that most sexually active people carry it and that is simply a risk we take having sex, protected or not.
Was I wrong for telling him?
I am pushing him to tell her. He refused to tell her he was dating some one new and she does not know that he was seeing or sleeping with me (I recently discovered).

I feel she needs to know. He said he will tell her, but I find it hard to believe that he will. He was more concerned with her feelings than anything else.

Again, it was ethical to tell him right?

He is freaking out because he read the words "penis cancer" in a WebMD post.

Advice? Thoughts?

P.S.
I am scheduling a colposcopy soon, I am a small business owner without insurance, so I need to save the money first because I need to pay out of pocket.

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21 replies. Join the discussion

Yes it was very much ethical to tell him.

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Update: He just called screaming at me. Telling me it was my fault and that I knowingly put him at risk of mouth and throat cancer.

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What a moron! Um, he's the one whose ex wife had a cervical cancer scare and you are the one who previously tested negative. DUH!

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Yes, apparently it was actually ovarian cancer and was quite serious. But he claims that I did this on purpose, that I intentionally tried to give him"cancer" and I am only telling him now to try to get back at him because he said he didn't want to see me anymore...

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LOL! Is he 16?!? Consider it a blessing that he's an "ex". I think I would rather have HPV than such a moron for a BF/Husband.

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OMG, tell this prick to F* off or give me his number and I'll gladly do it. He is probably lying she probably had HPV!

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Yeah, he's 27. Apparently not emotionally though. He appears to be a bit selfish?! Haha
I won't be speaking to him again. He made it clear that this was "my fault and my intent all along". That I was purposely trying to "give him throat or mouth cancer". That I never cared for him.... blah, blah, blah.
Because Lord knows I asked to be given HPV even though I practice VERY safe sex. He was the one who cheated. Now I have been put at risk along with his ex wife. He was more worried about how she would react to him sleeping with someone new.

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Is he aware that 85% of the population is infected with HPV at some point in their lives?! I did not have sex until I was 24 years old (with my now husband) and I contracted HPV. It is EXTREMELY common. Because you are under 30, like me, you would not have been offered HPV testing when your pap smears were normal. I did not know anything about HPV until I had an abnormal pap. I actually never had a pap smear until I became sexual active at 24 years old. My first one was normal. My second (a year later) showed LSIL with HPV present. What were the results of your pap smear? My biopsy last showed CIN1 which correlates with an LSIL pap. Thankfully, my last two paps were normal.

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My lar results are : Low Grade squamous intraepithelial lesion (LSIL) encompassing: HPV/mild dysplasia/CIN 1

To be exact! ha

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Oh boy, this guy needs to grow up! I had a similar experience with my ex. I had my yearly a MONTH before we got started dating, and my doc tested for EVERYTHING just to be sure and I was 100% free and clear. 3 months after I started dating my ex I discovered I was pregnant and at my PAP in my first OB appointment, I tested positive for HPV. Both doctors I have seen since then have said they are like 98% sure I got it from him due to the circumstances. And he still blamed me, and then went on to sleep with a dozen women without protection knowing full well he had this. Lets face it, even if *I* had given it to him, after 2 years of being together and a baby, he had it no matter what. I told the few I actually knew about my HPV and my history so they could take care of themselves.

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I erased him number after he screamed at me with such hatred. He sent me a message today that he spoke to his ex, who he cheated with, and she will get checked at her next appointment next month. He accused me of either "trying to inject him with something lethal" or "exaggerating the situation to inflict pain to him and his ex" as an act of revenge. He didn't want to know which was my motivation to tell him such a thing. I tested negative before him, positive after. He refuses to believe that he could have given it to me or his ex wife could have had it. Even though he expressed to me about the several women he was with after his divorce. We used protection and I was on birth control. But he still has it in his head that I did this intentionally. All he can see is the statistics of men who had certain strains that lead to mouth or throat cancer. He can't seem to understand that is highly unlikely especially without a weakened immune system. He has such hatred in his voice, it's almost scary. But he is active military and training for a new position that is very demanding. I do not say that in his defense, I say that because it gives me reassurance that he won't do anything crazy to mess with his military career.


My question is: Has anyone ever heard of lawsuits where people have sued over HPV?


I have heard of lawsuits dealing with HIV, AIDS, even herpes... but HPV?

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IF he could even find a lawyer stupid enough to take his case, and court would throw it out. 1) There is NO WAY to prove who gave it to who. 2) You have your results from your visit before him showing you were all clear. He is an idiot, and an idiot with anger management issues it seems. Don't worry about that, it'll never happen

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Yea what she said^^^ If he contacted me again I would put a restraining order on him. He would think trying to destroy him when I was finished!

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I guarantee too that he hasn't told the ex anything if I were you I would be sure and let her know what afine "piece of work" she's got there and that she is more than welcome to keep the clown!!!

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There is no way he can sue you because he would not be able to prove that you gave him HPV. HPV is such a common infection. Less than 20% of people make it through life without getting an HPV infection. If you could sue for something like that then people would be suing for their children getting chicken pox or getting the flu from a co worker.

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I am not worried he will actually sue, it was just a thought. I can get over this. Just seems everything is crashing down right now. A lot to handle. One day at a time right?

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UPDATE:

I have scheduled a Colposcopy for February 15th. I have no health insurance so I need to rely on Planned Parenthood for these services. Because I own a business I do not qualify for any state aid or anything. The cost will be $250 out of pocket. I am more concerned with coming up with the cash than the procedure itself. that $250 does not include the cost of labs fees .... that is billed at a later date. BOOO!

If I need to have a LEEP procedure done, it will cost me $300 out of pocket as well.

I am a little frustrated about the cost of these procedures, but at the same time, even if I pay $500 out of pocket, it is less than insurance premiums for an entire year. I got to look on the bright side right?!

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You should tell him ! & have him tell his ex wife

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Betzy Glam.. I did tell him, he supposedly told her. But did say I made all this up out of revenge and exaggerated to hurt/scare him and her.

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Two words... Payment plan. Ask PPH if one is available to you. This is a very common request. Same deal with being billed for pathology.

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