I'm hoping that someone will tell me that this fades in time. I am all-consumed with this since the diagnosis last week. I can't stop thinking about stupid HPV. It's on my mind all the time. I can't imagine ever being intimate again. Every time I watch TV and people have sexy time, I keep thinking, "Wonder what strain of HPV they are spreading?" I know they say that stress makes it worse, but I absolutely cannot help it. I've had my blood pressure checked twice this week, and it is up for the first time since my pregnancy-induced hypertension. I tried exercising, and I keep wondering if I'm jarring bad cells around. I tried wine, and I wonder if I'm weakening my immune system. Sometimes I'm better than others, but it's ALWAYS on my mind. Will this get better? What do you do to keep the stress at bay?
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I can't stop thinking about it
- By phchic
- Posted October 24, 2009 at 1:46 am · 6 replies
- In How my diagnosis changed my life
- Shared with the public
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- By kelbel09
- Posted October 24, 2009 at 10:05 am
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i was pretty freaked out in the beginning as well but I have learned to move on and make the best of it if you are all consuming you will miss good thing :) you need to tell yourself to let go and live within the moment thats all u can do
- By mickietucs
- Posted October 24, 2009 at 11:09 am
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phchic - when I found out I had it I was the same way. I think I downloaded at least 15 scientific manuscripts (read them all!) trying to find out as much as I could and was pretty stressed through the whole colop/biopsy waiting period. Although I still think about it (obviously, I'm on this site quite a bit), that initial feeling HAS faded and I'm much calmer. I think it'll be the same for you - just takes time. More of "regular life" will fill your day so it's not tipped the other way where this virus consumes you. That said, I don't think any of us will forget completely - always something to learn, to share with others and then there's the "next time for a pap waiting period" where we'll be anxious finding out the results. Hopefully the stress will lessen - keep exercising (that really helps!), being as healthy as you can with your diet and spend time with friends and family -
- By marsha123
- Posted October 24, 2009 at 1:55 pm
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Eventually you have to resign yourself to the fact that this is going to be a lifelong problem. (As of now anyway..till they find a cure.) It's cruel and pointless to let something you can't control or change rule your life. Distract yourself with people you love and fun times. There are MANY incurable illnesses that people live with every day, some that can be controlled to a point but never eradicated. I think in time you'll realize that you're more resilient than you think! If this is consuming you to the point that it keeps affecting your day to day life, please seek counseling. Life does go on for us, and is too precious to squander because of fear and anxiety. I hope for the best for you...supportive hugs, M
- By Dragonfly23
- Posted October 25, 2009 at 3:11 am
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I couldn't have said it better myself Martha!
- By Dragonfly23
- Posted October 25, 2009 at 3:11 am
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I couldn't have said it better myself Martha!
- By Andy_mph
- Posted October 27, 2009 at 10:34 am
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I feel the same way phchic. I have not felt sexy or felt like having sex since my diagnosis nearly 3 weeks ago. I can't even imagine having sex again without thinking about it (and I am married.) Everytime I go to the bathrooom and urinate, or see people on tv being romantic or kissing, I think about hpv. I also think about it every time my daughter picks up my cup and drinks after me (which she does all the time.) I don't know how easily the oral hpv is spread and I don't even know if I have it, but nevertheless I am scared (paranoid) that I do have it. I hope these feelings go away.
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