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HPV and the population

Fifi80
0 Recommendations

This is interesting. It has been two miserable years with HPV and I am not ever going to be happy. Anyways I cannot believe anyone on this chat has HPV. I have told 100 percent of woman I am infected. I really hoped it was common. It was not. I met no one in reality that has it. Now I feel alone. That is why I am here. I have no hope and want a cure in my lifetime. I am frustrated women on the chat say they have it but I have not met a soul. I was already told by others so sorry you are going through that. Sorry I cannot be of help since I do not have hpv. I was told it is like HIV by many women. This is why I am so hateful.

Explore topics in this discussion:

Exercise Cancer Surgery Genital warts Condyloma Diabetes Cervical cancer Breast cancer Pain HPV Depression Gardasil Stress

22 replies

chamomile

Fifi, I would bet that a large percentage of the women that deny having hpv either (1) is not being honest with you or (2) they have it and don't know it.

Only recently has there been a recommendation that women over 30 get an hpv test. Previously, hpv testng was only done to follow up an abnormal pap. Also, even if you had hpv.....the hpv test can come back positive if there is no active infection, but can reappear later.

You are in the majority of people. I can tell you that nearly all of my female friends, my friend's wife and her sister, my sister, and my doctor ALL HAVE HAD HPV. None of them are permiscuous in the slightest.

BBgirl

how old are you? It is really common. I didn't tell a lot of people however my mom told her family friend a nurse who informed me her niece had it someone i grew up with...i was shocked she is this innocent church girl who teaches kindergarten...darn i thought she was a virgin! i never mentioned to her i knew. My best friend's good friend had high grade HPV, and the same best friend's other best friend had the wart forming kind.

Have you had a leep? are you changing your lifestyle to protect yourself? no smoking, lots of veggies, green smoothies, vitamin C etc.

it can be beaten. Brooke Shields openly told People magazine she had HPV in passing.

flowershoplady

fifi, as chamomile posted, most of the women who say they don't have hpv either don't know it, or they're lying. particularly in your age group, 20's, hpv is very very common! and of course, there's different strains of hpv....some can cause genital warts and some can potentially cause cervical dysplasia/cancer. and rememmber that most people with hpv have no symptoms at all and they clear the active hpv infection without ever knowing they had it. i hope you're soon able to clear your hpv as well, whether via surgery or getting your immune system 'in gear'. let us know how you're doing.

marsha123

Chamomile gave an excellent answer and I couldn't have said it better! If your friends are sexually active with multiple partners, they have been exposed to HPV. The more partners, the more chance for exposure to different strains.

If HPV helps people to think twice before having random, unprotected sex, if HPV helps people to eat better, stop smoking, and be digilent about caring for their autoimmune systems, if HPV causes people to see their GYN's for pap tests more regularly, then maybe, just maybe, HPV isn't such a bad thing after all.

I'm not making light of the virus. I hope you understand what I'm trying to say. Supportive hugs, M

jamiegirl

BBgirl - whe did Brooke Shields say that in People? I know she had either dysplasia or CC, but didn't know she openly admitted it.

jamiegirl

Fifi80 - I didn't think any of my friends had it either...until I found out recently that 2 of my friends have had LEEPS. No one mentioned HPV but I can't imagine they would have had a LEEP if they didn't have dyplasia caused by hpv. You ARE NOT ALONE!!!

PJ2

Fifi80 -

The fact is, many people are never aware they have it, as it goes dormant before they ever get tested. And for men, no testing exists.

Fact is in the United States, there are 6.2 million new HPV infections each year, so I think it is safe to say that either the people you know may not be sharing the fact they have or have had HPV or they just aren't aware they have it.

Since women under 30 are not tested, I have been told by my doctor that is it common for them to be diagnosed with Condyloma or other disease, which in fact can be HPV or hide it.

So, do not fret or feel alone. More than 99 percetn of of all cervical cancer or precancerous cervical conditions are caused by HPV, thus I for one just assume people have had it or do have and just aren't aware.

Hang in there and never feel alone!

P

ShaundraNCCC-AZ

I copied this directly from the CDC's (Center for Disease Control) website. They are the utmost authority on all statics regarding transmitted diseases:

"Most people who become infected with HPV do not even know they have it... Approximately 20 million Americans are currently infected with HPV, and another 6.2 million people become newly infected each year. At least 50% of sexually active men and women acquire genital HPV infection at some point in their lives. "

With 20 MILLION Americans (not even the world wide statistic) being infected with HPV CURRENTLY - you are hardly alone. Chances are the people you've spoken with don't know if they are or if they are not. Especially if they are under thirty. National guidelines do not recommend any HPV testing for women under 30.

Hang in there - you are in good company.
Sh

cattas

HPV is a funny thing. It's always been around and people just didn't know enough about it. But the way it is being discussed and the emotional baggage that comes with it, (ie. impression that you need you must have had multiple partners to get it) makes women even more Secretive about it.

Women who have had treatment and have mentioned it in conversation, make it out to be not big deal, refer to abnormalities but never hpv. Its brushed it off, downplay it. Afterall, who is going to admit what they've done if its been with numberous partners.

The fact is, it only takes one partner who has it to get
it. And until we all get it, the stigma that goes along with this, will never disappear. And this is the heartbreaking part because if you get breast cancer the reaction is "poor dear". But Lord help you if you get Cervical Cancer these days, there will be blame and fault to lay. And that isn't right, because as you all said, its out there, its not just a women's issue.

Fifi80

Ladies,
I know what you say is true, but I hate to say this but, I almost became very distructive to myself last year when asking for help. I even told my doctor I felt alone. No help from her but you are awsome. My paps are abnormal and I had a Leep, two colps, and a lot of misery. I cannot even call the doctor's office because no one wants to listen to me. That is why I felt suicidal. I feel very depressed still. Stress causes abnormal paps and I have been byond stressed.
My doctor, I hate her, and next year when they call for my follow up, I am going to tell them I quit!
Right now, everyone I went to school with in Medical Assisting knows, every woman at work, friends from church, my mom, my sister, her friends, her doctor, and are not helpful. They all have made me hate myself that I am an STD.......I will seperate everyone on the chat as realistic and helpful though.
I hate everyone in my life especially my doctor because I am so illiterate and she had me almost commit sucide. Do not be alarmed at what I write. Please. I cannot believe my doctor put me up for that. I hate her so much she cannot even touch me anymore. I mean it!!!
Thanks for writing and telling me. To answer some of you all's questions, I have had seven partners. I do not smoke. I used protection but as you can see I got HPV from being raped by an abusive first partner and had to be checked because all of the blood and pain. I had my test say HPV positve. I hate bringing that out and writing that I remeber I was trying to get out of that relationship and was threatened so many times, and hit twice. I got the hell away from him finally. I remebered I got on my knees and told God to come in my life and erase him. That happened a week later.
I lost my verginity at 26. Never been touched by anyone but raped at that age. SICK!!!!!
HPV positive.
Anyhow, I like you all on the chat. I really do. And...I need professional help.

corellin

Hi Fifi -- Thank you for sharing, and I do hope you get professional help!! You've been through so much, and it sounds like your friends and family probably don't know the right thing to say. I've been depressed myself and even felt suicidal a few times in life and, truly, talking to a professional has made a world of difference. I'm so sorry that the people in your life have not been able to be more supportive. Sometimes people, even if they care about you, truly say all the wrong things and make you feel worse. I'm glad you found this website. At least you know you're among people who care and understand how you feel.

Dragonfly23

I would just like to elaborate on what Chamomile has said. HPV because it is a sexually transmitted disease is associated with a lot of shame and guilt. It also tells others you are sexually active which could be an issue for some people and a reason to stay silent, Some people are seriously in denial and cannot admit to themselves they have an STD let alone talk to someone else about it.

If you were diagnosed with high blood pressure or diabetes Im sure people hve no problems letting ohters knowl about that but a sexually transmitted disease - typically unlikely. Having contracted HPV often leads others to believe you are a slut or tramp or other derogatory terms. Some people with HPV even feel this way themselves.

You are certainly not alone and hopefully through support you can get here and maybe elsewhere you will come to be more accepting of your diagnosis and rejecting of the feelings of shame and guilt which so often come with it. Best wishes.........

Fifi80

Dragonfly23,

I told everyone I had HPV. It was terrible I was an STD. Everyone kept their distance and when STD's came up in nursing, everyone looked at me.
My dad is the only person that does not know I have this STD. I begged my mom not to tell him because he already called me a loser for losing my verginity. He believes that woman should be stoned to death even to this day if they have STD's. That is scary. Unfortunately, you do not live in a family of six men, that will degrade you in the walks of life. It is hard for me. And the stress will unfortunately stay. I do not know if I will make it. It is too hard. I really don't know. I live one day at a time and always think about HPV. A year ago I did not even have anyone to talk too. My doctor never sent me for help or told me how to get help. I do not know I feel like I will not make it. I am sad but atleast I will not worry anymore.

flowershoplady

fifi, i am really sorry you're feeling so awful. i would strongly urge you to seek out professional help for your depression. you do not have to feel so awful! really.... you can feel better! since you're a student, then perhaps there's a health clinic or department with social services of some sort to help you find a therapist. or, you can contact a local university hospital and ask if they provide psychologic and psychiatric outpatent/clinic services. and, here's a 24 hour crisis number - they are there to help you....and to provide you with direction for getting ongoing help:
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

as corellin posted, many people don't know what to say, how to help a person in pain. you've got a support team here, and hopefully can get the professional help soon as well.

jamiegirl

Fifi- We are all here for you. We've all been depressed about the situation we are in. I barely ate for a few days when I first started researching hpv on the web a few years ago - I was so depressed!! I only wish I had found this site then- I only joined this past March, I think it was, and boy, what a help it's been! I felt so alone too- that I was the only one who had this. It is good to talk about things with people who can relate to what you are going through.

Most important for YOU, my dear, is to learn to like yourself!! Don't let those other people make you feel small - learn more about this virus and educate people on the risks. You were brave enough to tell them about your situation. That took courage. NONE of my friends know- just my husband, my sister, and my mother.

Stay strong - stay with us- you have come to a great place :)

Warm hugs,
jamiegirl

klf

Im sorry to read that you are having such a tough time. I have had hpv for 15 years and back then nobody I knew even knew anything about hpv. It is different now everyone has been educated by the gardasil commercials. I felt alot of shame as well but now I realize that this is real and it affects many many women. There shouldn't be a stigma associated with this because so many people have it. I have recently had a recurrence of hpv and I am just telling my coworkers and I have been surprised that many of them have also gone through this. If it wasn't for hpv, would it be recommended for women to get an annual pap?

Right now you need to work on getting yourself healthy mentally, spiritually, and physically. Talk to a professional also try exercise. Exercise is not only great physically but mentally and emotionally. You may be surprised how much your mood will improve.

Also, educate yourself about hpv. It is great you found this site everyone here is very supportive and informative. You aren't alone!

KLF

astrocat88

Fifi, there is nothing morally wrong with HPV.

I did not even know it existed until I found out I had it at 43! My mom was a nurse and always was on to me about STDs so I was so scared all of my life that I slept with only 5 men afraid I would catch G or Siph and then AIDS came about in my college years and I was even afraid of eating in off a restaurant fork! HPV right now, unfortunately, just happens. Not even a condom offers complete protection. It is my understanding that condoms protect us from HPV even less than for AIDS because HPV is a skin/muscous transmitted virus - not "fluids" (thus, those of us who have recent cones, etc. are recommended to take a year course of complete abstinence!) I read all of the pamphlets on AIDS and I think, what the H--- about HPV? This is also a serious virus and I don't think they really even understand the extent of it. Cervix, throat, anus, nose, neck, etc. cancers .... how can anyone annually control testing on all of these areas? My exhusband ( an absolute non-never smoker) had throat cancer with chemo and radio. He told me it was a smokers kind of cancer but when I found out I had HPV he said that his doctors also mentioned that his cancer could have been HPV related! My best friend had cervical HPV x2 and now has anal benign polups....

What is horrible about HPV is that you don't know what is in store for you. Will you over come it like 80% of the population? Or will is haunt you as in 20% of the population? Why you? Why me? Should we eat pounds of spinach and red-berries everyday? Rest more? Ex-stress ourselves? What? No one, NO ONE seems to know the answer.

What even triggers it? I had not been with another partner for 12 years+? Who gave me HPV? My actual husband? There is no test for men so I'll never know. My Gyn said it could have been someone from as long ago as 20 years? So, now it appears in full-force?! Why???

Don't be ashamed Fifi. Everyone likes to think they are virgins but only la Madre María de Jesús was a virgin :) given that she gave the "immaculada concepción". Err. Right.

Fifi80

chamomile,

You say everyone you know has had HPV but that does not sound real to me. Let me rephrase that. What I meant is I cannot believe it. I am so sad right now. I have felt this way for two years. I do not think I will get better. I feel sick in the head and will not go to the doctor anymore. I really don't care about anything. Nothing. I really hate myself. There is no help out here. I feel alone. My results will always scare me because they are positive.

I feel so sick and cannot keep this fight up. I feel l am losing and sick to my stomach.

I need help but don't want any: (

astrocat88

NO. I said, 80% catches it but only 10% stays with it (years later and does not over come it) and no one is certain why. This is NOT an epidemic but is very serious nevertheless for those remaining who have the high-risk HPV. If you hate yourself, this is independent of the HPV. I am a super lovely lady and I do not hate myself. I am angry at the Gods who enabled this curse, but I do not hate "me". If you are feeling"sick" or you are feeling icky with yourself, go seek a professional OR a really great friend! and talk your head off with this person! This is great help. You are not alone. 39 million US Americans have HPV 16-18 so be calm and clear.
I have only had this for 6 months. I wanted to have an IVF baby but can't because Hormones and HPV are like Alcohol and driving - they don't mix. You have been on here several times. This is nothing to be ashamed of but it is something to be dealt with independently of the family pressure which we have all felt. If you do not have any support, please seek support immediately because you are slipping away.
All the best. You are not alone. This did not happen to you because you are "bad". Get support from kind people near you ASAP!

astrocat88

It is my understanding that a condom does not help much to avoid HPV (especially anal since HPV is not a fluid virua but a SKIN contact virus so the are that the condom doesn't cover may also carry the vius, .... therefore ..... so now a days, what is "unprotected sex"? It seems to me that there is no protected sex except abstinence which, I, do not see as a solution ....

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