The voices(2 males,not anyone I know...) that I hear because of my schizoaffective disorder sometimes demand that I do something I know I don't really want to do. For instance out of absolutely nowhere they will tell me to hurt or kill myself. I could be in the best mood ever and they will totally ruin it for me. They abuse me...calling me horrible things and telling me horrible lies about myself. Sometimes they tell me lies about other things too, random stuff. I try so hard to ignore it but sometimes I give in and do what they tell me to just to shut them up. It doesn't work though, they always keep at me saying to do even worse things, or in my present case, to keep doing what I'm doing. My medication helps to a point but it doesn't totally eliminate the voices. They still sneak up out of nowhere even when I'm doing "well". They totally catch me off guard and I act impulsively. For example, the past few days they have been telling me that my prednisone will actually kill me and telling me not to take it, so I haven't been taking it. Somewhere inside me I know that it's not real, but part of me is still afraid it is. I feel absolutely horrible without my prednisone but I am afraid to take it...that's irrational right? I don't even know anymore...I am so frustrated.
Edited June 16, 2013 at 10:08 pm