my blue bicycle

When I was eight I had a blue, three-speed bicycle. A lever mounted in white plastic on the bar between the seat and the handlebars shifted speeds. The fenders were shiny. I kept the bike in the garage and under a blanket. I want to share three times I rode it.

I rode around in front of my house imagining that my best friend was with me. I was lonely. I saw him in school only.

I rode around in circles in the driveway. There was ice. I rode carefully around it and did not fall.

I was riding on the street toward a car. I looked down, maybe to change the shift-lever, and hit the car. That resulted in my getting hurt.

We moved to a different state, and the bicycle moved with us. I remember the bicycle in a condominium we lived in. Then I can't remember it. I loved that bike. It was a gift. I still miss it. Now I am in middle age and I feel sad, in this brain, this mind, my left, about losing my all-time favorite bike. It was the right color. I can add that it was masculine, and phallic.

I got a car that color. I crashed the car. I think that I wanted to lose the car so it wouldn't be taken from me. Fear of losing the car may have prodded me to face fear of losing the car, and I lost the car. I feel sad about that, too. This mind, which is more mature than my other mind, actually has feelings for material things. I hugged the blue car once; I hope no one saw me do that. I am sad. I want my blue bicycle back. I don't know what happened to it.

Please tell me, if you wouldn't mind replying to this, things I communicated here that I may not have known I was communicating. (I am aware of literal meanings only.) What does the bicycle represent? Maybe it represents--let's see. Freedom. Autonomy. Status. Wealth. Power. And love, from whoever gave it to me. I'd love to hear your replies.

Report post

Things you can do

Support Mental Health America

Help Mental Health America reach its goals and support people like yourself by making a donation today.

Donate to  Mental Health America

Discussion topics

Resources from Mental Health America

Mental Health America 2013 Annual Conference on Wellness

Receive e-mail news from MHA

Community leaders