As you may know, I suffer from Dissociative Identity Disorder, which is a mental disorder where basically, a person has at least two distinct identities or dissociated personality states that alternately control their behavior, along with forgetfulness, not as the "Oh, I forgot what I did!", but a "I don't know what I did."
At first I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, later on Schizophrenia, but only after seeing medical experts, I was disgnosed with Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD) who was later on called Dissociative Identity Disorder.
There are many cases where different personalities are different ages, sexual orientations, and even genders. I, luckily, have -only- 5 (!) different personalities (other than my own, so I believe that makes 6, but don't trust my math, please), and learned to deal with it from a very young age. (12 years old.) All of my alters are females, and they're all in the same age group, except for Sophie, who is 14.
I was diagnosed and accompanied of a therapist who was actually very interested in the subject, so she gave me all of the attention I required and more. She spoke with every one of my different alters and came to consense with each one. Except for Cheryl, who rarely comes out. We all keep a journal so we'll know what we did throughout the day, and we identify ourselves so that people are able to recognize who we are.
Now, onto the information.
I'm Jessica, I'm 17 years old. I was born in São Paulo, Brazil, and I had a very traumatic childhood. I was sexually abused, kidnapped and made hostage, my parents left me in Brazil at a very young age to come over to another country (Portugal, where I am now) and left me with a very abusive grandmother. I love music, animals and people. I think they're the best thing God put on earth. I'm a Latter-day Saint, and I believe God is the most loving, caring Father we could ever ask for. My biggest insecurity is that I really do consider myself dumb. I do not think I am intelligent, at all. Science and Math is something I will never, ever comprehend. I also suffer from epilepsy, asthma, pneumonia and bronchitis. Because of my deviated septum I have to deal with sleep apnea, and a lot of trouble sleeping, over the fact I stop breathing and then choke, and wake up panicking.
Cyndi is 20 years old. She suffers from severe depression, she self harms and takes bottles and bottles of pills. She doesn't always call herself Cyndi, she can sometimes call herself Jess, out of the habit of everyone calling me Jess. She's very talented at the piano, and she also speaks english. All of my alters do, except for Cheryl. Not all fo my alters speak Portuguese either, Cynthia has no clue of any portuguese word at all. Cyndi is very caring and she, unfortunately, hates everything about herself.
Cynthia is a bit... different. She's 18 years old and she has a very big sexual appetite. She is what you can call a nymphomaniac, and it's very stressful for me, and amusing for my boyfriend Mathew. Not that he enjoys it, but that he finds it funny when she tries to play me and seduce him. She can play the ukulele and speaks a bit of japanese. She's quite intelligent. But a bit rude.
Sophie... Oh, Sophie. Sophie is the youngest, she's 14 years old. She will pride herself in her knowledge of gaming and her sense of humor, and she will hide herself at the sight of food. She suffers from bulimia, that being, me, being someone who binge eats, and her being someone who is bulimic, you can tell what a mess it is. She will often make comments about how fat she is (I am), how she hates everything about being an alter and having no self control, how she would like to die, so forth, so forth. Nonetheless she wants to make people happy.
Jess is my first alter. I was very, very, very young (4 years old) when I first dissociated. (From what my therapist said.)
Jess appeared in the moment when my pain was all too great for a girl so small. She's also 17, she's the most rational, intelligent alter. She can over-rationalize everything, and from what I've read, she is not very sensitive. She will be very logical, and she can get angry very easily, but she hardly gets sad or upset. She doesn't like talking to strangers, so when I sign with 'Jess', it is always me, never her. She enjoys sleeping, a lot, an drawing, which is something I'd like to do, being that I cannot draw for the life of me.
I don't know much about Cheryl at all. My therapist identified her but she doesn't keep a journal, so I can't tell you much about her. Out of the times I remember my therapist talking about her, she said she was suicidal and opressed.
I am fortunate that I have a lot of people who support me and love me no matter what troubles may be haunting me. I am very blessed to have a body and a life, and I am very grateful for it. No matter what challenges I may face, I know that what matters is how I overcome them. Sometimes I am not very strong, but I know that in the end, no one is made of stone.
I appreciate all of the love and support I've been receiving lately, you are all wonderful people.
Edited June 2, 2013 at 6:32 am