I am going insane!

Today was the second day of counseling, and I am getting no help at all! I am really really going insane! I really feel like I just want to be put in an asylum and be left alone. The first day was crazy, as you can read in a response I did in my last journal. Today was so bad, that I recorded the session and sent it to a friend, because I just think I am totally crazy, insane and mental. Today the guy was cursing, complaining about how no one has trained him, he has no idea how to do this and that on the computer....he feels like they are going to fire him, he's frustrated because he just bought a mobile home, and a truck...he can't quit....I mean just around and around...I am sitting there trying to determine if this is just a front and they are attempting to mind fuck me....trying to anger me....testing my level...or what....or if this is real? Am I the one that is suppose to be counseling him? I mean I just want help, someone to talk to....to help me with my PTSD and depression...help me get my disability appeal started....but nothing....I am just at my wits end...tomorrow I start this drug class...then wens I gotta meet with him again, then Thurs class again....its like ugh...then I got an email from one of the many sites I posted on...hoping to find someone again, a guy responded...he sounded so cool..wanted someone to chill with when he was up here for work, camping....just cool stuff.....sent him a photo...and haven't heard a word back....I had a glimpse of hope, but I know how its been my hole life, to fat...to ugly...this in that's not big enough....I just keep believing that not everyone is like that, and I can eventually find someone like I lost again....but its so hard. When you can't find someone, and you go to a place for help and they assume you are metal ill and you can't get the help you need....I am just at that I am insane and mental place...please lock me up! What else could it be?

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