Hi

I just wanted to introduce myself. I have so much to write about and so little time to do it. I am really struggling with depression right now. I am isolating myself from family. My partner and I have been together almost 20 yrs and last Sept I wanted to end it. I still do and don't have the heart to go through with it. I don't have time to get into the whys and what fores, but I will in time.

Right now, I am feeling pretty alone in the world. I have dreams of bleeding out in a gutter and people just walking over me and stopping to help stop the bleeding. I feel lower than the lowest crawling belly crawling creature. Self-esteem I have no idea what this is, because I have none.

At the ripe age of 9 I was raped/molested by a neighbor man and the only reason why it ended is because he passed away from a heat stroke. Other family friends have tried to molest me. For one reason or another I was always spared.

I have suffered from depression most of my life.

Thanks for listening.