Bipolar, Anxiety, PTSD and no medication

Wow. The fact that my family is still in one piece is amazing. I suffer from bipolar disorder and social phobia/anxiety. I have a 5-year-old who has been sick for 3 weeks, and new born who has been in the NICU for 6+ weeks, and my insurance expired about the same time all my medications ran out! I'm having panic attacks and emotional breakdowns on a daily basis. My mood swings are raging worse than the usual roller coaster. I'm manic, angry, pacing the house/hospital, and screaming about hospital staff one minute and crying and swearing I can't survive this the next. My poor daughter probably thinks I'm crazy. I know my husband does. What complicates everything more is my husband is a soldier suffering from PTSD and depression and he refuses to get help for either condition, so he's not able to offer a lot of emotional support! Man, I thought the circus was crazy.

Luckily I should be able to get my paperwork in order to get my insurance back up. By the end of the week I will hopefully be medicated again. Not having family live anywhere near us there isn't a lot of support, physical or emotional. My medications are the only solid stability our family has right now. And with all the extra stress we're all under I need to be able to offer my daughter some kind of stability. 'Deep sigh' we'll get through this.

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