So after almost losing Michael, because of this guy who is stalking me, our relationship has become much closer. I was trying to be friends with a guy named Matt and after three days he kissed me, (Yes He knew about Michael) I cried for 12 hours and Michael's shirt became drenched. Once I finally was able to tell Michael what happened I felt like I had done something wrong so I told Michael that we shouldn't be together. After he went home I messaged Matt and asked if I could talk to him. Michael had seen this message and was on his way back to the dorm at the same time as me telling Matt that I could only be friends, if that. I guess Michael was crying and it woke up one of the dorm RAs and so as I came back to my dorm I saw the two of them sitting on the steps waiting for someone to let them in because the RA forgot his keys to get back inside. Michael talked to me about how he talked to God and how he would do anything to keep me. He promised to work on his GED, getting an actual job and going to college. Now he is working on all of it.
I had to move back in with my mother because the guy we were renting from thought I was trying to steal his boyfriend. I went home over the weekend to find myself a visitor in my own home. Mom took my dresser and is using it for my little brothers clothes, my bed is set up in the middle of the room because she put a couch in the room for my sister and she kept asking if I left room in Jessi's closet for her stuff. So I am living out of a suitcase when I go home and all my stuff is in boxes in the corner of the closet. Thankfully I have the dorm room or I would feel so out of place.
CMT is getting to me faster than I expected. When I walk my feet turn and my ankles roll. Recently I discovered that my ankles also pop as I walk. My insurance won't cover braces or soles and I am in so much pain. My back is hurting and truthfully I am freaking out a bit. So many people are reaching out to help me, but I feel like I'm using them and I hate that feeling. My family isn't helping much which doesn't surprise me and I just wish I could get my stuff figured out. I haven't even been able to see my therapist because my classes don't work with her schedule.
I'm so confused and hurt and worried. I'm not even sure what to do. I know my goals and I am fighting to get to them, but the obstacles seem like they are trying very hard to make me fail. I hope and pray that things work out. I am scared that if I don't get some kind of orthopedics I'm going to run into some serious problems. My feet, ankles, and legs are getting worse and I can't seem to do much more then watch myself waste away.