I guess the overload is over? It's been kind of seeping out. I've been quiet feeling. Not talking, even to myself. An occasional smile. Took my first shower last night and washed my hair. Felt good. First in weeks. I cried in the shower.
I cried again just now, feeling sad about why I have to be sick. Why me? Of all the billions of people in the world, why is it me? I had weird dreams last night about it being the end of the world. Everyone knew it was coming. We were all waiting. We found a comfortable place and lay down and closed our eyes. My heart raced and then ... BOOM ... the world was over.
I opened my eyes and everything was quiet. There were no cars moving. Buildings were destroyed and I was the first one awake. I was afraid but I was happy. Weird.
I stopped crying and am just watching outside. The trees rustling. All I have the energy for is taking another nap. I wish I felt better. I have no energy.
You know Major Depressive Disorder is just not a very descriptive name for this illness. It is so much more than that. Maybe we should have a renaming contest. :/