My daughter probably won't pass 9th grade. Is it all my fault? I think so.

I didn't know exactly where to post this. I will probably post in another group as well for some advise. I'm sorry this post is going to be long and probably really detailed, but I'm afraid to leave out important details that could help give advise to me.... Thank you in advance for taking the time to read and hopefully respond!

Well I'm feeling so depressed. I believe I am a complete failure as a mother to my kids mostly my 15 yr old daughter. We've known since she was 2 that she's very strong willed and different than other girls. She's never seen a punishment as anything that bad. If we put her in time out or took everything out of her room but her bed she would still find a way to entertain herself. At four we put her in private pre K and on to a private school from there. In kindergarten her first day, she got all her frogs taken away (the teachers reward/displine system) In the first grade, it was suggested we have her tested for ADHD given that she was a distraction in class. She was put on meds and did a bit better for awhile. We moved at the beginning of her second grade year and put her in a public school feeling that the school system was much better. She did okay, but not great through the sixth grade. In seventh grade her serious behavior issues got to the point of the teachers emailing me telling me of her defiance and poor attitude. After trying to help my daughter with her failing grades and even going to the school and digging through her locker to find work she had completed, talking with the principals and councelors in the hopes of helping her become more aware of her failing grades and poor aditude, I came to the final decision to pull her out of school and try cyber school online. That didn't work well either so I thought okay, I'll homeschool!! Well it was like the blind leading the blind and didn't work!! I bought DVDs and paid a math tutor, but she flunked that as well! This year I put her in a hybrid two day school hoping that she would get the one on one attention and the accountability both of us needed honestly. She did well the first semester, but now with just three weeks left and finals coming up, I'm worried for her! I have done so much to try to help her understand how important it is to make good grades and at least try. I feel responsible though because I know I havnt set a great example for her to follow, but I'm not perfect. I know also I can't do it for her! She has to make her own choices and its ultimately up to her. Any suggestions from anyone?? I'd love to here from other moms and teen girls! I want to be supermom for my kids....I feel so guilty that I just honestly wasn't shown as a child how to be a grownup much less a mom. If I didn't get those life skills, how do I expect to teach her or show her? I just love her and encourage her in the positive aspects about her and the talents and gifts she's been given. She's an amazing artist musician singer and drama group is her favorite thing!! I knew since day one she would be that kind of kid that can not and should not be put into a box!! I'm just afraid Im not going to find where she needs to be as far as academics go.. Sorry for the long post!!!

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you are not less of a mom at all, dont think of it like that it is her choice. as a teen if we arnt interested in something some of us just dont do it. also sometimes school mostly high school isnt for most people she will be okay once she gets the motivation doing something she loves. im a 17 year old that tries to go to school but cant due to how sick i am. but i also wasnt one for school, i cant wait for college. maybe she cant either.
best of wishes to you if you have any questions feel free to ask

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