Hyper-empathy

I finally realized this morning that I an hyper empathic. I broke down the other day and hurt myself and was generally in a very dark place and I figured it was just because things finally just became too much. But I finally realized that the trigger was actually a close friend of mine describing how much he still loved his ex and how much it hurt to not be able to be with her and how he can't move on. Thats what killed me inside. This is a problem I've had for a very long time and just never knew it. I don't know how to hear others problems without feeling everything they feel. And i feel as though it's slowly killing me.

I am in desperate need of help. I never knew there was such a thing as too much empathy, but I know how I feel right now and I am telling you there is such a thing. But I am terrified to try to get help. I can't tell anyone in my life about this. I can't talk to my friends or my therapist or my psychiatrist. And I can't go to the psych ward.

I just know that no one will take me seriously. And why should they? It sounds crazy. But I desperately need my brain to stop working this way.

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Good-Morning Lotesse,

First I would like to say, You're NOT crazy, many of us have 'Triggers', most importantly being honest with ourselves is #1, acceptance and allowing ourselves to get the proper help we need. There's nothing wrong with expressing ourself, and isolation, self hurt is not going to help the situation. This is also why there are Professionals in the field to help US when we need it, but you must NOT let yourself get caught in a web of feeling like you can't trust your Psychiatrist, Therapist, or Doctor, and if you do, perhaps it's time to make a change with the health care professionals in your life, However, if you're comfortable with them, please I urge you to contact one of them for some help. Trust me I myself have been in that deep dark black hole, and it's NOT good.. Also I'm not sure what type of medications that you're currently on, sometimes when our meds haven't been changed, and or we've been on them for quite sometime, it can cause our bodies & minds to counter re act in ways that are due for re evaluation. I urge you to contact someone you trust for help, the mind is a very complex organ, and it can make us think about many things that's not relative too us being rationale within ourselves. Trust yourself, Help yourself, to Trust someone to help you.

Respectfully,

Michelle

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Lotesse,

When you say you are "hyper-empathic" do you mean highly sensitive or no? I am highly sensitive. I have a hard time not taking things personally and my feelings get hurt often. I've always been told that I'm being "too sensitive" but didn't try to "research" it until about a year ago. I really wanted to find out why I reacted differently from everyone else. It was driving me crazy! I seem to react with my heart (feelings and emotions) and everyone else reacts with their heads.

I researched all over the internet and then I stumbled across Dr. Elaine Aron, who has done research and specializes in "Highly Sensitive People." I love her website-it's got alot of info. She's an author and has written several books on this subject. I have the Highly Sensitive Person book and workbook. I've learned alot about myself.

If you have questions or just want to talk email me a friend request. I'll be glad to talk with you.

Charlie

Her website is www.hsperson.com. The following is the self-test that is on Dr. Aron's website,

1. I am easily overwhelmed by strong sensory input.
2. I seem to be aware of subtleties in my environment.
3. Other people's moods affect me.
4. I tend to be very sensitive to pain.
5. I find myself needing to withdraw during busy days,into bed or into a darkened room or any place where I can have some privacy and relief from stimulation.
6. I am particularly sensitive to the effects of caffeine.
7. I am easily overwhelmed by things like bright lights, strong smells,coarse fabrics,or sirens close by.
8. I have a rich,complex inner life.
9. I am made uncomfortable by loud noises.
10. I am deeply moved by the arts or music.
11. My nervous system sometimes feels so frazzled that I just have to go off by myself.
12. I am conscientious.
13. I startle easily.
14. I get rattled when I have a lot to do in a short amount of time.
15. When people are uncomfortable in a physical environment I tend to know what needs to be done to make it more comfortable (like changing the lighting or the seating).
16. I am annoyed when people try to get me to do too many things at once.
17. I try hard to avoid making mistakes or forgetting things.
18. I make a point to avoid violent movies and TV shows.
19. I become unpleasantly aroused when a lot is going on around me.
20. Being very hungry creates a strong reaction in me,disrupting my concentration or mood.
21. Changes in my life shake me up.
22. I notice and enjoy delicate or fine scents, tastes, sounds, works of art.
23. I find it unpleasant to have a lot going on at once.
24. I make it a high priority to arrange my life to avoid upsetting or overwhelming situations.
25. I am bothered by intense stimuli, like loud noises or chaotic scenes.
26. When I must compete or be observed while performing a task, I become so nervous or shaky that I do much worse than I would otherwise.
27. When I was a child, my parents or teachers seemed to see me as sensitive or shy.

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I have that book! My therapist had recommended that book. In a way though, I cant remember ever being shy! Many wonder how can I be to myself so much. I enjoy my solitude, I have my books, internet, music....etc. When I wish to, I go out. One problem that I have when I do go out is stove is off, no running water, didn't leave keys! It makes me so nervous that at times I must go back and check. I need to get out more often!! :-)

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